Unexpected Surprises
by kwillads
Summary: Third in a series following John's accident, a whole new side of John is revealed.
1. Chapter 1 The Hunt

**Disclaimer:** Stargate SG-1 and Stargate: Atlantis, the characters and universe are the property of Stargate (II) Productions, Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions and the Sci-Fi Channel. The content of this story is solely for entertainment purposes and no copyright infringement is intended.

**A/N** - This story is the third written as a continuation or sequel to 'Three for the Price of Two' and 'Conquering Adversities'. I recommend reading 'Three for the Price of Two' and 'Conquering Adversities' first in order to gain character understanding. References are made in the story that refer back to my previous two. This story takes place eighteen months after Colonel Sheppard had an accident.

2-6-2008 Previous spelling errors corrected. Content of story unchanged. Any remaining mistakes are mine and mine alone.

Unexpected Surprises

Chapter 1 – The Hunt

The Colonel was having his breakfast with Rodney, Ronon, Teyla, Carl and Evan like any other morning. The conversation took all sorts of turns and u-turns. They discussed their latest off-world mission, the cute Earth science tech that had arrived on the Odyssey, and the new fruit that was being traded from P4C-397. Teyla even recounted her dream from last night that bothered her. All in all a typical mornings conversation.

Rodney, being a genius and all, thought he knew everything there was about dream analysis and offered his opinion whether anyone wanted it or not. Carl sat across the table from Rodney with contempt in his eyes. Carl held eight degrees, one in psychology, if anyone knew about dreams, Carl was more of an expert than Rodney. The two men took to battling their viewpoints, neither one noticing that Ronon, Teyla, Evan and the Colonel had left the table.

It took less than five minutes before the pair realized they were sitting alone at the table, still arguing. Stares from neighboring tables and looks from passer-bys finally called a truce to their discussion. Neither man willing to give into the other. They gave a quick glance around before confidently picking up their breakfast trays and departing. Rodney headed for his lab while Carl headed back to his room. Both a bit embarrassed.

Breakfast over, John headed for his office, dropping off his dirty dishes and tray. On his way to the mess hall doors one of the science personnel tripped on an untied shoelace. The Colonel reached out, out of reflex, to halt their fall.

"_Control room to Colonel Sheppard."_ Chuck said from his seat at the console. It was 08:48 Atlantis time.

John tapped his comm. He managed to right the scientists fall and was now leaving the mess hall, on his way back to his quarters. "Sheppard, go ahead." His voice was short and curt. He was a little frustrated, knowing that he had to change his pants after helping the scientist remove their breakfast from his lap.

"_Sir, the Daedalus will be landing on the east pier in fifteen minutes."_

"Contact Colonel Lorne, have him handle the off-loading and new personnel. Sheppard out." John looked at his watch and noted that the Daedalus would land around 09:05. At least this time there was no emergency and he had gotten to finish his breakfast besides having seconds delivered to him unceremoniously.

It had been five and a half months since the Daedalus was last here. It had taken longer to repair the ship, back on Earth than had been expected, after the Wraith blast damaged two of her decks. The Odyssey had made a quick run with supplies, but couldn't stay. They were needed back in the Milky Way for the fight against the Ori.

John continued on his way to his quarters to change because he needed to get back to his office to finish the month-end status report. He knew Elizabeth would be asking for it shortly. He had been working on it for two days now. In fact, he was almost done with it last night, but had gotten called away to settle a dispute between two of his Marines. Lt. Col. Lorne could have taken care of it, but he and his team were off-world. By the time he had gotten back to his quarters it was late and he opted for sleep instead.

When John and Elizabeth had their early morning coffee work session at 07:00, he promised he would finish the report right after breakfast. And a promise is a promise. So instead of being out on the east pier taking in the fresh sea air, coordinating the off-loading of the Daedalus and getting a first hand look at the new Marines, he was on his way to his quarters.

oOo

The door chimed to the Colonel and Carl's suite on Level 6 and Carl answered the door. It was unusual for anyone to be on this level aside from the occasional team members who wanted to see the Colonel. Carl looked at his watch and noted it was 08:52 and he knew the Colonel would be finishing breakfast now or already in his office working. When the door opened, Lt. Gadient stood on the other side balancing a large piece of wood.

"I'm sorry Lieutenant but the Colonel is not here right now." Carl told the Marine Officer.

"That's okay Doc, I'm not here to see Colonel Sheppard. I'm here to see you. Mind if I come in?" Asked the Swiss Marine.

Carl swept his hand with a 'come on in' gesture. The massive piece of wood was heavy and the Lieutenant grunted as he lifted the wood and carried it inside the Docs quarters. The Lieutenant continued to struggle but managed to step inside.

"Doc, remember a while back when you helped me get my arm and shoulder back to 100 percent after my run-in with the Genii?" Lt. Gadient asked as he shifted his weight from boot to boot.

"Yes, are you having trouble again?" Inquired the Doctor.

"No…oh no. My shoulder is just fine. Better than before actually." Stated the Lieutenant. "That's why I'm here. I wanted to say thank you for all your help with my rehab. I don't think I could have made it through without your help and talking to me all the time. It kept my mind off the shoulder and the pain. I kind of miss our talks, one Swiss to another you know." He finished saying, a smile breaching his face.

"Lieutenant you're welcome, but I was only doing my job. And we can talk anytime that we're both not busy." Carl stated factually trying to get a glimpse at what the Lieutenant was holding.

"I know. I still wanted to say thanks though. This is for you." Holding the large piece of wood out to Carl. "I made it myself, carved it actually. I hope you like it." As the Lieutenant turned the piece around he added, "I was on the mainland a while back, saw this downed tree and it gave me the idea. In my off hours I made arrangements with Colonel Sheppard to go to the mainland and work on this. When I had all the cutting and carving done, I brought it back here and polished it up."

Lt. Gadient held the piece of wood so Carl could get a look at it. It was beautifully carved. Carl tilted his head at an angle to take in the carvings. The scene depicted Switzerland from the snow capped mountains to the lush valleys. The Lieutenant also carved in a small village, a ski resort along with trees and many of the native flowers. The wood was the color of maple syrup polished to a shine.

"It's beautiful Lieutenant. Thank you." Carl stated, not sure what to do with a large piece of wood about 58 inches long and about three feet wide. The Lieutenant must have picked up on Carl's befuddled look.

"It's a headboard Doc. I hope you don't mind, but I asked the Colonel to let me in your room to measure." The Lieutenant said. "I wanted it to fit perfectly."

"Not at all. The details you carved are unbelievable, so detailed in every way. You must have a very good memory of our homeland. I'll contact someone in engineering to help install it." Carl added looking at the piece, his eyes wondering up and down the dark but polished wood.

"Actually Doc, if you give me a few minutes to run back to my quarters I have everything we need to install it. I just couldn't carry my equipment and the board at the same time, it's a bit heavy. I would be grateful if you allowed me to install it." The Marine Lieutenant declared.

"I would like that Lieutenant." Carl said happily smiling.

Lt. Gadient transferred his hold of the headboard over to Carl and quickly turned on his heels and almost ran out the door. Carl was left standing in the middle of the living space holding this huge chunk of carved wood. Carl changed his hold on the headboard in order to carry it into his room to lay it across his bed while waiting for Lt. Gadient's return.

As he grasped the middle of the board, the bottom end turned out to be heavier than he thought, and Carl lost balance. It swung out of control. At the same time the suite's door opened and the Colonel came rolling in unaware of what was in front of him.

Just as the Colonel looked up, opened his mouth to call Carl for help, the piece of wood grazed him on the right temple above his eye. Blood ran down the Colonel's face in a steady stream, Carl quickly wrestled the headboard to lean against his bedroom doorway and ran to aid the Colonel.

"Colonel, let me have a look. I'm so sorry, I didn't see you." Carl stated pushing the Colonel's hand away from the small cut. Reaching into his pocket Carl pulled out a handkerchief and pressed it to the wound. "It doesn't look that bad, head wounds always seem to bleed more."

"I know Carl, it wasn't your fault, and I wasn't looking where I was going. I'm fine." John stated firmly. "By the way, was what that?"

"It's a gift from Lt. Gadient. Why are you back here Colonel?" Carl asked out of pure curiosity still holding his handkerchief to quell the bleeding.

"One of the science personnel tripped and my lap was the unfortunate landing site for their breakfast. I came back to change my pants, but it looks now that I'll have to change my whole uniform." John noticed that blood had dropped onto the front of his clothes. It just wasn't his morning after all.

Carl took notice of the Colonel's appearance. It appeared his BDU's were covered in syrup and there were bits of eggs. Both pant legs were wet from his thigh to just below his knees. "Colonel are you burned?" Asked Carl, concerned that the Colonel had coffee spilled on him again.

"No coffee. It was either milk or juice. I don't recall which for sure." Answered the Colonel.

The Colonel held the blood soaked cloth to his head while Carl pushed his wheelchair into his bathroom. Carl reached into the cabinet and pulled out a washcloth, wetting it down with cool water he traded the Colonel for handkerchief. He instructed the Colonel to hold the cool cloth to the cut while he went to the medical cabinet to get supplies. The bleeding stopped, Carl cleaned the small cut and put some antibiotic cream on and covered it with a large band-aid. Once that was taken care of, Carl got out the dreaded pen light and checked his pupils, then checked his blood pressure, pulse and respirations. Finally Carl helped the Colonel get changed into a clean uniform.

John finally made it to his office to get his end-of-month status report completed. By 10:23 he was finished with the report, by 10:25 he had e-mailed it to Elizabeth. And by 10:27 he received a 'thank-you', after working some forty-five minutes to put the finishing touches on the report.

The Colonel had the beginnings of a headache, after straining to see his laptop in order to complete the report. He thought it best to head back to his quarters and rest. Maybe he could guilt Carl into giving him something for the headache since he was the one who gave it to him in the first place.

John closed his laptop and put it under his seat, grabbed the bottle of water he had sitting on the desk and headed for the nearest transporter. On his way he peeled the Velcro cover back off the face of his watch and checked the time. Lt. Col. Lorne would be done off-loading the Daedalus soon.

In the hallway, on his way out of his office, came a Marine who needed to talk. He was having ex-wife problems back on Earth. He received an e-mail from his ex-wife, Alicia, who wanted more alimony and wanted to know what he should do. Colonel Sheppard and Colonel Lorne had been offering counseling, rather talking, to the Marines (they would leave the counseling up to Dr. Heightmeyer). Many of the Marines had personal problems and were more comfortable talking them out with the Colonel's. John wasn't sure how to handle this one so he did the safest thing. He told the Marine he needed time to think about it and would let him know soon. The Marine was pacified and John would have time to ask Elizabeth and Kate what he should tell the young Marine.

When the Colonel reached his room for the second time this morning he entered to the sound of drilling which only made his headache worse. Following the sound of the noise he rolled himself into Carl's bedroom. Carl was holding the end of a very large piece of wood while Lt. Gadient, who had the drill, put in the bolt and began power drilling it into the wall. This was the first time the Colonel had seen the headboard. Being hit in the head with it didn't count. His gaze took him from one end to the other, noticing all the fine details. The Lieutenant had done an excellent job.

Clearing his throat to be noticed, "Carl, when you're done, I need to see you in my room." Carl gave a nod and the Colonel went into his room.

Using the lift, he got himself stretched out on his bed, he closed his eyes and willed his headache to go away. He didn't know how much time passed before Carl came in. Opening his left eye only he looked at Carl. "Hey do you think you could give me something for this headache?" The Colonel asked in that puppy-dog way he had.

Carl stared at the Colonel for a minute deciding if he should get the Colonel Tylenol or not for his headache. His vitals all checked out ok, pupil reactions were normal, there were no signs of concussion but medicine and head wounds don't always work. "On a scale of one to ten, how bad is it?" Carl asked.

"About a three." The Colonel replied.

Carl knew that a three to the Colonel was really a six to a normal person so he opted to give him the pain reliever. The Colonel had a high pain tolerance but there was no medical reason to make the man suffer needlessly. Carl nodded and went back to the medical cabinet for some Tylenol.

Carl walked back in with a little white paper cup and a glass of water. The Colonel was glad to see that little white paper cup for a change. He happily swallowed down the two pills and drank most of the water before laying his head back down in his pillow, closing his eyes to his surroundings.

oOo

The balcony doors swished open as he came rolling through. He stopped at the rail and peered out over the east pier. The Daedalus gleamed in the morning sun. No matter how many times he saw the big ship it always amazed him. The damage to her starboard side had been repaired and you could faintly see the difference in the color of the metal. The cargo ramp was still down and supplies were being off-loaded. His men were darting back and forth, between the end of the ramp and the distribution warehouse, quickly moving the much needed supplies.

'Flash.'

John sat in silence and watched the activities below play out before him. The sun was warm on his face and a slight gentle breeze wafted past every now and then.

'Flash.'

The sea air revitalized his body with every breath he took in. It was peaceful to sit and watch the bustling going on below him.

The new arrivals meandered on the pier, taking in the sight of Atlantis and waiting for orders.

'Flash.' 'Flash.'

From his perch on the balcony, he could tell the civilians all seemed to be tightly huddled together in one spot. Their blue, yellow and green inserts in their jackets denoted what group they would be assigned too.

'Flash.'

He could see them point to the spires, gaze out towards the blue ocean that surrounded Atlantis and he could imagine the ooh's and ahh's that were being said.

'Flash. Flash.'

The Marines huddled together as well, most dressed in camouflage which made them easy to make out from this distance. John saw them looking around, but mostly they just stood and kept their attention on the man in charge, the man with the clipboard.

'Flash.'

Noticing the cargo bay ramp closing he looked at his watch to find that twenty minutes had passed since he had first arrived on the balcony. Lorne was dispatching the civilians by group. Three new medical personnel wearing yellow inserted jackets left heading for the medical department, their escort out in front. Following them were two Earth science team members wearing green inserted jackets with their escort out in front. And finally another Marine escorted two women and three men wearing blue inserted jackets towards the science division.

With the civilians taken care of, he watched and noticed how the new Marines were now lined up in two fairly equal lines getting their room assignments and orientation schedules. Colonel Sheppard had found it advantageous to look over the Marine manifest and divide them equally into two groups, it meant for faster processing. Col. Lorne was doing an excellent job, at least from what he could tell from his viewpoint high above the pier. None of them wanted to disappoint their commanding officer on their first day.

John chuckled to himself as he recalled the many camera flashes he had witnessed. Atlantis may be a city, but she didn't have a Foto-mat. If you were lucky enough to have a computer you could download your photos. Those who did not would never be able to see their pictures. The secrecy of this expedition was paramount. Any pictures of Atlantis or of the Pegasus Galaxy would never be allowed to go to Earth. As the last new arrival left the pier, John turned around and headed back to his office.

oOo

Not that he needed to, John wanted to prepare for the orientations. He had the first group meeting at 09:00 tomorrow, a break for lunch and the second group at 13:00 hours. The Colonel had two basic topics: 'I'm in charge, Do as I ask' and 'How to Survive in the Pegasus Galaxy'. Followed up the next day with an overnight stay on the Alpha site with pretend war games.

However in the real world, it was no game; the Wriath were real. And so were Michael's superbugs.

John felt it was best to get his new Marine's acclimated as fast as he could. You never knew when someone might drop by. Although the Marines were highly trained in warfare, the Pegasus Galaxy had all new rules and it was hard to train for that.

"_McKay to Sheppard."_

"What do you need Rodney?" John asked politely pausing in his reading.

"_Food. And you're missing it. Do you know what time it is?"_ Rodney's bitter tone was like nails on a chalkboard.

Looking at the clock, it was later than normal, but not that late. "Coming Mother. Be there in four. Sheppard out." John tapped his comm off so he wouldn't have to listen to Rodney complain.

John closed and put his laptop under his seat and arrived at the mess hall in under four minutes. Getting into the chow line, he nodded at Rodney who was sitting eating with Carl, Teyla, Ronon and Carson. John knew the two Docs had put him up to calling him and Rodney had eagerly accepted.

Rolling to the table he placed his tray of food down on the table, "I'm not that late," John said to the group of prying eyes giving them one of his famous half grins in return.

Rodney, Carl and Carson sat on the opposite side of the table facing him. They all had the same look on their faces. The same look the review board members had at his court-martial, just before they found him guilty and sent him off to Antarctica, John remembered. John felt a little uncomfortable, but shook it off. He pulled his wheelchair up next to Teyla; Ronon was seated on her right.

"You're late. What were you doing?" Rodney stated matter-of-factly. Waving his fork as he spoke.

"Working on the orientation for tomorrow." John picked up his fork and took a bite of the vegetable of the day, a purplish potato like vegetable that tasted more sweet than savory.

"Oh please. You don't need to work on that. You know it by heart and you have given it…what…a million times now. Even I could recite it. _'I am Colonel John Sheppard, Military Commander of Atlantis. Welcome to the Pegasus Galaxy. I am going to talk to you about staying alive and surviving. I know you probably think…'_" Rodney just shook his head in disbelief and stuffed more food into his mouth when Sheppard cut him off.

"Alright McKay…I get the picture." The Colonel grumbled at McKay's recital. McKay was right; he did know the orientation speech forwards and backwards.

"Colonel, you have to keep on schedule, you know that. And you know what happens when you don't." Carson gave him a concerned look. Carl knew all to well what happens when the Colonel gets off schedule.

"I know. Now can we change the subject? Please." John pleaded turning back to his plate of food deciding on what to try next.

Everyone went back to eating in silence. John knew he had to stay on his schedule; it wasn't like he did it on purpose. This past week he was a little more preoccupied with month-end reports. He showed up late three times for lunch and two times for dinner and his friends were keeping track.

John heard a familiar laugh. He shot his head up and scanned the mess hall but he couldn't find the person who had laughed.

"Colonel, are you all right?" Teyla asked. Seeing that he had stopped eating and his demeanor had changed. "Colonel?" She said once again placing her hand gently on his.

John came out of his daze at her touch. "Yeah Teyla, I'm fine. I just heard…"

"Heard what?" Rodney interrupted looking around the mess hall as well.

"Nothing…it was nothing. Never mind." John opted to change the subject quickly. "How are the new science recruits?" He asked in general, knowing that in Rodney's department five new recruits showed up and in Carson's department there were three. John went back to eating in hopes his friends would take over the conversation.

Carson was the first to speak up. "Aye got a lovely new nurse, Nellie. The other two work in the lab. They seem to be nice fellas."

"Couldn't say. I just pointed them in the direction where they needed to go and they went." Rodney managed to get out in between bites of his dessert. "Colonel, any free time this afternoon? I could use your help with some calculations. It would do you good to use that brain of yours for more than blowing up stuff."

"Sorry McKay got lots to do with the new Marines and all. Tomorrow is orientation, then war games at the Alpha site day after for …" John was caught off guard, there it was again, that laugh. He looked around again before he caught himself and found his friends were staring at him. "…two days. Maybe end of the week or next week I can help. And I don't blow stuff up!" John finished saying.

Rodney stared at the Colonel. "It's not like you get to play war games with them since…" Rodney shut his mouth quickly, not intending to remind the Colonel of his disability. "Come to the lab. I really could use your mathematical brain."

"You're right Rodney, I can't play war games anymore, but I can take a jumper and keep an eye on my men and what's going on." John didn't mean for his words to come out so harsh, but they did.

There were times when he wished he had the use of his legs. John excused himself from the table, placing his tray on his lap and dropping off the half eaten meal and dirty dishes on his way out.

"Colonel, I'm sorry." Shouted Rodney to the retreating back of the Colonel.

"Is that what you Earth people call 'putting your foot in your mouth'?" Asked Ronon. He picked up the meanings of Earth expressions all the time, but wasn't always sure how they were used.

Carl and Carson nodded. Rodney glared at the Satedan. Rodney's mouth was usually two steps in front of his brain. One of these days, he would need to learn to keep them together.

oOo

The door behind him swished open. He didn't turn to see who it was, he already knew.

"How did you find me?" John asked quietly still looking out over Atlantis and listening to the waves crashing against the pier below.

"We've been working together for over a year now. I'd like to think that I know you well enough to know where you would go. If you went to your office or to the southern balcony Dr. McKay would have found you. You couldn't go to the balcony off the command center because Dr. Weir would want to know why. And I know you don't want to talk to anyone right now. He really is sorry."

"I know." John replied. "I'll apologize to him later."

"Colonel. What's bothering you? This is not like you."

John wasn't sure what was bothering him. Normally he tuned Rodney out. He was always saying the wrong things at the wrong times. "Carl, I don't know…usually when Rodney slips up it doesn't bother me. It's been almost eighteen months. Why am I still having these…"

"Feelings?" Carl supplied.

"Yeah…I guess that's what you could call them. I thought I had adjusted…to this…pretty well." John made a gesture to his wheelchair and his lifeless legs.

"Colonel, you have adjusted well. Better then most people and in a much shorter amount of time. Does this have anything to do with why you were distracted during lunch?" Carl had noticed his friend being distracted twice.

John turned to finally look at Carl. Eyes locked on one another, each trying to read each others expressions. "How…?" John started to ask. "How do you know…I…" John turned his gaze back out to the water.

Carl let the Colonel take his time to figure it out. It would have to be the Colonel who would have to make the next move. Carl stood by the balcony railing, hands on the rail looking out. Patiently he waited for the Colonel to start the conversation again.

"Maybe. I don't know. I thought I heard…a laugh…a familiar laugh from a long time ago. I guess it brought back memories that I had stored away. That reminded me of how I once was and that I could never be that person again no matter how hard I try. I know none of this makes any sense. Just forget it, okay." John finished, looking exhausted from just the memories.

Carl turned to face the Colonel again. "I understand Colonel. Listen, we can never go back, none of us. Each new day changes us, sometimes in a major way, but most often in little ways. Little ways we take for granted, but each new day changes us, so we can never go back to the way we were before. It's humanly impossible. The best we can hope for is another new day. Another new chance and hope we don't screw it up."

John pondered what his friend just told him. Carl was right, as usual, we can't go back. "Carl I'm going to my room to rest for a while." With that said, John turned his wheelchair towards his balcony door that opened to his room and rolled himself inside. After situating his wheelchair he let the lift do the rest. He needed time to think, to digest, what Carl had told him and how he was feeling.

Feelings were something to hide, to never let show. If you showed your feelings you would get hurt and John had been hurt too many times to allow that to happen. He tried to keep his friends at arms length, but somehow they got a lot closer than he intended.

Evan as a boy, his father told him that 'men don't cry'. It was a motto, his call to arms, something his father repeated over and over. He remembered sitting on the kitchen stool with his knee all bloody, wishing that his mother would come home and take over cleaning it. She would allow him to cry, but not his father. His father was tough. There were never any emotions he could read from his father, not when he was a boy, not as an adult. His father never showed any emotion even after his wife passed away. His father remained stoic.

John soon found himself asleep.

Carl notified Dr. Weir of the Colonel's absence for the afternoon.

Carl checked on him an hour later and took a blanket out of the closet and spread it across the supine figure. The Colonel seemed to embrace the warmth and was visibly comforted under the blanket.

oOo

Carl woke the Colonel in time for dinner. He and Carl headed to the mess hall and met up with the 'gang' (Rodney, Carson, Evan, Teyla, Ronon and Elizabeth). John took a few minutes to apologize to Rodney for his earlier actions at lunch.

Rodney had been feeling awful all afternoon at what he had implied. It was his big mouth that sent Sheppard off and it was he who needed to apologize, not the other way around.

Rodney had tried to find the Colonel so he could take his foot out of his mouth. First checking John's office, then his favorite balcony overlooking the southern pier, the armory, gun range, the gym, the orientation room, Lorne's office, the chair room, the infirmary, Jumper One and finally the control room. By the time he got to the control room some three hours later, Elizabeth had been notified of the Colonel's whereabouts. Elizabeth assured Rodney he would see the Colonel for dinner.

Dinner was enjoyable, it usually was. There was plenty of laughter, joking, kidding and food swapping. Because John had slept the afternoon away, he begged out of stick fighting with Teyla and Ronon and returned to his quarters to get some work done.

oOo

"Morning Elizabeth, Sir. Coffee's here, get it while it's hot!" As soon as John reached Elizabeth's desk he passed out two mugs and kept one for himself. "It's nice to see you Sir. Honestly can say, 'missed you'. How's the Daedalus?"

Elizabeth couldn't believe what she was hearing, and from the look that Col. Caldwell sent her way, he couldn't either. "Okay, who are you and what have you done with my Military Commander?"

John was taken aback by her statement. He couldn't help but be in a good mood. His talk with Carl yesterday afternoon put some things in perspective. The three hour nap he took also helped and laughing through dinner just made everything alright.

John placed his hand over his heart, feigning being shot. "You wound me Elizabeth. I'm just in a good mood this morning."

"I can see that. Is everything all right?" She was slightly concerned. When Carl contacted her yesterday he explained that the Colonel was feeling melancholy about being a paraplegic.

"Couldn't be better. So, Colonel, how's the Daedalus?" John asked again. Taking his first sip of coffee while he waited for a reply.

"The Daedalus is fine Colonel. Took a little longer to repair then expected, but she's one hundred percent again." Col. Caldwell stopped and took a swallow of his coffee before continuing. "How are things around here?"

John looked at Elizabeth, he wasn't sure if she was going to answer his inquiry or if he should. John gave her a nod and Elizabeth replied. "Same as usual Steven. We have five new trade alliances and we have had limited trouble from the Wriath, which is beginning to bother me a little. The Wraith have been too quiet for my tastes. I have a feeling something is wrong, just no proof yet." Elizabeth leaned back into her chair and pulled her coffee mug to her with both hands, warming her fingers on the mug. It was woman's intuition that made her feel this way. But she couldn't bring herself to admit it in front of the military.

"I've had several teams out; Halling, Na'el and Teyla have been in touch with a few of their off-world contacts. Seems many worlds have noticed the decline in Wraith cullings. We know they have been fighting amongst themselves, but if I were a betting man, I would bet on Michael and his super-bugs have something to do with this. I just hope they don't come here…I hate bugs." John gave a little shudder as he mentioned the word bug.

"The Daedalus is here for a few days. We could run by a couple of Michael's known planets and check them out, see if there's any activity. While the Daedalus was in for repairs she also got an upgrade to her shields. I'd like to test them out, not that I want to pick a fight with a Hive ship, but it would be good to know we can stand our own ground with one." Col. Caldwell explained.

John and Elizabeth exchanged glances. "Sir, I think that would be a good idea. We could use the intel if something is coming down the line later on." John said. If the intel was good he could start planning his defense.

The three continued to discuss which planets the Daedalus should check out among other things. Colonel Sheppard excused himself and headed for breakfast, he needed to fuel up before he faced a room full of new Marines.

oOo

"Listen up people." John said with a commanding voice from the front of the orientation room. Within seconds the room fell quiet. "I am Colonel John Sheppard, Military Commander of Atlantis. Welcome to the Pegasus Galaxy. This morning I am going to talk to you about staying alive and surviving. I know you probably think you've heard this before, but trust me ladies and gentlemen, this is Pegasus. What you have been trained or taught doesn't apply here. I have one basic rule: Do as I tell you and you will live. I guarantee it. Tomorrow at 06:00 you will leave for a two day war game at our Alpha site. Lt. Col. Lorne will be in charge of your group. Follow his orders and you should be fine. Specialist Ronon Dex will also be on your team. Follow his advise. He had been evading the Wraith for seven years on his own before coming to us. He has much to teach you. Your designation is 'Trojans'. It will be your job to evade the Wraith, yet kill as many as you can. The Wraith will hunt you, hurt you, and kill you if given a chance."

Colonel Sheppard continued his welcome lecture for the next two hours. Just like he had planned and rehearsed and had spoken many times before. He gave them an insight to how he commands, what he expected from the men and women who are here to serve and protect the scientists. He explained that this was a scientific expedition and protecting the scientists was priority number one. The Colonel told his Marines that they could come to him or Col. Lorne with any problems or concerns. After his speech, the last half hour before they broke for lunch, he opened up for questions.

Being asked 'how did you end up in a wheelchair?' 'how is it that an Air Force Colonel is in charge of this outpost?' 'is it true the Wraith suck you dry?' and many others.

After lunch his second group showed up in the orientation room.

"I am Colonel John Sheppard, Military Commander of Atlantis. Welcome to the Pegasus Galaxy." He opened with and the room fell quiet. "This afternoon I am going to talk to you about staying alive and surviving. I know you probably think you've heard this before, but trust me ladies and gentlemen, this is Pegasus. What you have been trained or taught doesn't apply here. I have one basic rule: Do as I tell you and you will live. I guarantee it. Tomorrow at 07:00 you will leave for a two day war game at our Alpha site. Major Jacobs will be in charge of your group. Follow his orders and you should be fine. Teyla Emmagan, Leader of the Athosian people, will be on your team. She knows the Wraith and can sense them. She knows their tricks and how to fool humans. Pay close attention to her and learn. Your designation is 'Jay Hawks'. You are the Wraith ladies and gentleman. It will be your job to hunt, hurt and kill any human you come in contact with. Keep in mind, the humans will try to kill you first."

As he did with the morning group, he went over the rules, safety and survival. Advised that they can seek him or Lt. Col. Lorne out with any problems or concerns and then opened up for questions a half hour before they finished. John fielded many the same questions as the first group asked.

After dinner he had a date with his very own personal torturer. John had worked his way back to doing one hundred sit-ups, fifty pull-ups and fifty push-ups. Carl stretched his legs before he began then started his counting as the Colonel lay on the mat at the foot of his bed doing all the really hard work.

oOo

A few minutes before the first group of Marines were to depart to the Alpha site, the Colonel rolled into the control room. Below mingled sixteen new Marines. Each member mumbling something to the other as Col. Lorne and Ronon were double checking each Marine's pack and handed out the yellow paint ball guns. Col. Lorne had rounded up his team and met the new Marines an hour before their scheduled embarkation time in the orientation room to go over last minutes details and plans. Lorne emphasized, that although they were using paint guns, this exercise was very serious.

"Colonel…you and your squad, are you ready?" Yelled Colonel Sheppard from his spot on the balcony above the gate room, the one Elizabeth always stood at when a team would leave for a mission or where she could be found when a team returned from a mission. It was his place now since he had taken over those duties.

"Yes Colonel we are." Lorne yelled back.

John turned his head to the technician working the gate controls, "dial the Alpha site." Turning back to the men below he stated, "good luck and happy hunting. I'll check on you at 21:15 hours."

The 'humans' got an hour to prepare for the Wraith invaders that would follow them through the gate. The war games lasted from 07:00 hours to 21:00 hours, fourteen hours. At nightfall Atlantis time the teams could relax and go over the days good and bad objectives. When Teyla and Ronon switched teams, they would have time to plan their strategy for the next day.

The chevrons locked in place and the blue puddle shimmered within the gate. Ronon lead and two by two the new recruits followed him through the event horizon. John could hear the splurt of each body as it went through. The gate shut down after Col. Lorne went through. The gate room was silent once more.

John had about fifty minutes to kill before the next group gathered in the gate room. He took the transporter in Elizabeth's office to the first level and found his way outside the orientation room. Inside he could hear Major Jacobs giving last minute instructions to his team. Teyla leaned against the back wall, arms folded across her chest.

"Teyla!" Whispered John from the hallway.

She heard her name being whispered and turned in the direction of the doorway. She silently stepped out into the hall. "Good Morning Colonel."

"Good Morning. How are things going so far?" He asked.

Teyla paused a moment, before making her reply. "They seem…eager. I will know more after we get to the planet."

John nodded and the two stood in the hall, watching and listening as Major Jacobs continued with his instructions.

When John looked at the time, he had about fifteen minutes before the group departed. He told Teyla he would be there to see them off, then headed for the mess hall to get three cups of coffee.

Coming out of the transporter with three steaming cups of coffee, he placed the tray on Dr. Weir's desk and rolled into the control room. He took his place on the small balcony again overlooking the gate room. Below another group of Marines stood talking quietly to each other as Major Jacobs and Teyla checked their packs and handed them each a blue paint ball gun.

Elizabeth and Col. Caldwell made their way through the Marines and up the stairs and sidled beside him on the balcony.

"Coffee is sitting on your desk. As soon as I send these guys off, I'll be right there." John spoke to them without looking at either of them. His focus was on what was going on below.

Elizabeth and Col. Caldwell finished their walk into her office. Finding the coffee on the desk to start their day with was so pleasant.

"Major, Teyla, are you all set?" Asked Colonel Sheppard.

"We're a go Colonel." Major Jacobs replied giving him a thumbs up signal.

"Dial the Alpha site, Chuck." John turned to the gate technician and noticed that Chuck had come on duty taking the place of Marvin from an hour ago. "Good hunting. I'll check in with you at 21:30 hours." The Colonel yelled down.

Chuck dialed the gate address and the gate kawhooshed open. Major Jacobs gave the silent command to head out. Each Marine raised his or her paint ball gun to the ready position before crossing the event horizon. John could only imagine what the Major had told his team, they were 'Wraith' after-all. After the gate shut down, John rolled into Elizabeth's office grabbed his cup of coffee and took a long swallow.

"Colonel were those paint ball guns I saw being handed out?" Queried the Daedalus Commander with one eyebrow slightly higher than the other.

"Yes Sir. We use them in our war games." John advised his senior officer.

The older Colonel gave a worrisome look to the younger Colonel. "What if the Alpha site is breeched?"

"Col. Lorne, Ronon, Teyla and Major Jacobs all carry live ammunition. The Alpha site's armory bunker is well equipped. In the event of hostiles, the Marines on duty at the Alpha site will contact Col. Lorne and Major Jacobs, and then contact Atlantis for back up if the gate is not being held open. Live weaponry would then be passed out to the detail for defensive purposes. I have a puddle jumper under camouflage that can be used to deliver the weapons. At least one member manning the site is a qualified pilot. I have thirty-two new Marines and four seasoned team members out there Colonel, trust me when I say I have gone over every possible scenario and planned for it. They will be safe." John gave Col. Caldwell his most confident look. Underneath John knew there could be something he hadn't thought of or planned for. That thought was always in the back of his mind. Always.

Caldwell seemed satisfied with his answer and turned the subject to Michael. "I'll be taking the Daedalus out at 08:45. I'll investigate P1M-619 first, then move on to P3M-032. Should only take a couple of days."

"For all our sakes, I hope you find nothing. Then again, it would be nice to know if we have bigger troubles brewing out there." Elizabeth mentioned sipping on her coffee.

Like always, the three discussed a little of this, and a little of that. At 08:00 John headed to the mess hall for breakfast. John placed a side of eggs and sausage on his lap, along with a muffin and more coffee. He rolled over to a table and began eating. A few minutes later Rodney showed up and joined him. At first they ate in silence.

"Sheppard…I'm really sorry for what I…" Rodney was stopped short of finishing his statement.

"Forget it McKay. You already apologized. Remember." John didn't want to be reminded or listen to another one of Rodney's apologies. "Just eat. I tell you what I'll come to the lab and help with some calculations for a couple of hours. As long as you stop apologizing."

Rodney looked at Sheppard and nodded then put a fork full of pancakes in his mouth. The two men finished breakfast and headed to the transporter.

The transporter door opened and John rolled himself in and Rodney stepped in along side brushing up against the Colonel's shoulder. The Colonel noticed the brush against his shoulder before his senses took over. _'Passion?'_ John thought to himself. "Do you notice that?" John asked sniffing at Rodney's uniform.

"Notice what?"

"Passion." John replied. Taking in a deep breath through his nose he was sure it was Passion.

Rodney was startled, "Passion? What are you talking about? It this your way of freaking me out so you don't have to help me in the lab? Because if it is, you're doing a damn good job at. Now stop sniffing at my uniform!" Rodney had already backed himself against the far transporter wall away from the Colonel.

The Colonel noticed that Rodney had stuffed himself into the far wall. "Geez McKay…I didn't mean passion as in 'I want to jump your bones', but Passion as in the perfume you dummy. For a genius you can be somewhat dumb. Can't you smell it?"

"Oh…no I…don't smell anything. But then again, I've never been close enough to a woman to notice her perfume. How do you know its called Passion?" Rodney asked, finally stepping away from the wall, relieved to know the Colonel was not hitting on him in the transporter.

"Never mind McKay, lets go. Times a wasting and you _do_ want help with those calculations. Right?" John replied reaching up to tap the back panel for their destination.

John worked on Rodney's calculations all morning until it was time for lunch. Then the pair headed to the mess hall. After lunch Rodney went back to his lab. John headed to his office to get some of his own work done.

He sat behind his desk, powered up his computer and found several mission requests waiting for him. Three requisitions, a handful of personal requests and one complaint. John opened the complaint. As soon as he saw it was from Dr. Kavanagh, he forwarded it without even reading it to Col. Lorne. He would let Lt. Col. Lorne deal with it. Kavanagh was a constant menace, probably complaining about one of his Marine's again.

He settled in to review some upcoming mission requests. Dr. Susan Kaufman wanted to go to P4M-771 to study ruins found by Capt. Cadman's team. Seems there were some glyphs that weren't exactly Ancient or Wraith. Dr. Kaufman wanted to have a look and see whether or not she would need to send them to Dr. Jackson back on Earth. Then there was Dr. Phillip Rhomburg who wanted to go the Pede system to take pictures of twin nebulas and Dr. Alyce Deerman, she wanted to go to P2C-578 to study a mineral that Lt. Gadient's team had come across. Dr. Marvin Gebhardt wanted to go to P2N-492 to study a plant. Lt. Ruiz's team reported it had healing properties.

Each doctor had valid reason's for wanting their mission to be put on the mission list. Each doctor would need a team as escort for security and possibly a jumper. He had to juggle the missions with the meet-n-greets and with the trade missions. Trading for food supplies were of primary importance. This was a number one priority since they had to supplement what foods the Daedalus brought them. _'How did Elizabeth do this for so long?_' John shook his head and started to schedule face-to-face meetings with the good doctors. He signed off on the requisitions and handled half the personal requests by dinner time.

oOo

John had dinner with Carl, Rodney, Carson and Elizabeth. Elizabeth reported that Col. Caldwell had made it to P1M-619 and so far found no resistance. Caldwell had sent a team of F-302's to do a fly by on the planet surface. The team came back safe with nothing to report.

John completely finished his dinner as did the rest of his friends. Before leaving the mess hall, he stopped by the table where Lt. Connifer was seated along with a two other Marines. "Lieutenant, guys, are you busy after dinner?" The Colonel asked.

Lt. Connifer spoke first. He looked around the table and saw a lot of head shakes, so he replied. "Not at all Sir, what can we help you with?"

"I need some assistance getting the paint guns loaded into Jumper One. I'm going to take them to the Alpha site later tonight. Lorne and Jacobs are on a two day war game with the new Marines." The Colonel explained. Although it wasn't necessary for a commander to explain his actions, John felt the need to let his people know what was up. He liked keeping the lines of communication open between him and his men.

"When and where Colonel?"

"Say 20:30 hours outside my old quarters." The Colonel replied.

"See ya there Sir."

"Thanks guys. Appreciate it." And the Colonel started rolling out of the mess hall, he looked up to see where he was going, he caught a glimpse of a familiar figure walking out of the mess hall. It was just a split second look before the mess hall doors closed in front of him.

Hurrying to the doors and out into the hallway, he hoped to get a better look at the person he had seen. Reaching the hallway, the Colonel looked in both directions but the hall was empty. Just coming around the corner were two Earth science staff members heading for the mess hall.

The Colonel just sat there in the middle of the hall looking in both directions. Carl came up to stand beside him. Rodney, Carson and Elizabeth stayed back. They had noticed his odd behaviour and were curious.

"Colonel, is there a problem?" Asked Carl. Seeing that look on his face from yesterday reappear.

"No. Just thought I saw something from my past. Guess I was wrong." He answered quietly, not realizing he had an audience behind him. John had become comfortable talking to Carl. Although Carl held eight degrees, he found he could talk to Carl about things that he would never talk to anyone else about, not even Heightmeyer. Feeling the presence of others, he looked over his shoulder and saw his friends staring at him. "Look, I have to get Jumper One ready, so if you'll excuse me." John rolled away down the hall towards the transporter. Destination jumper bay.

Getting in the transporter he again noticed the scent of perfume, Passion. He was sure that was the name of it. The doors closed and he tapped the wall panel for his destination.

"Carl, what was that all about?" Asked Elizabeth.

Carl looked at her, "I'm sorry Dr. Weir, I can't say. But I can assure you, everything is fine with the Colonel."

Elizabeth gave a nod of understanding. Carl had never kept anything from her regarding the Colonel. She knew that the Colonel confided in him and there was a doctor patient trust that had been built up between them. Elizabeth didn't want Carl to break that confidence.

oOo

John rolled towards his old quarters. There waiting for him was Lt. Connifer, Cpl. Henderson and Lance Cpl. Fisher. "Sorry I'm late guys. Hope you weren't waiting too long." The Colonel said, thinking the door open as he got closer. The only reason he was late was he smelled that perfume again in the hallway. He tried to follow it, but lost the scent at the north transporter.

"Only a minute or so Sir." The Lieutenant said. Stepping into the room behind the Colonel followed by the two Corporals.

"I need the Red and Green paint ball guns loaded on Jumper One. What do you think would be easier. Taking eighteen of them off the rack or taking the whole rack?" Asked the Colonel to anyone who had a better idea in their head.

"Take the whole rack Sir." Offered up Lance Corporal Fisher.

The paint guns leaned on a wooden rack built in the shape of an 'A'. Each gun rested in between two wooden dividers at the top and bottom, ten guns per side.

"Okay…whole rack it is. But we will need one more person unfortunately." John said rolling out into the hallway. Just as he got there, Sgt. Moore was passing. "Sergeant. Got a spare few minutes to help a Colonel out?"

"Sure Sir. What do you need?" Sgt. Moore asked.

John turned around and went back into his old room with the Sergeant following. "I need these two racks of paint guns put into Jumper One. Mind helping these guys out by taking an end?"

Sgt. Moore moved to take an end, Lance Cpl. Fisher grabbed the other. Before Lt. Connifer and Cpl. Henderson took hold of the other rack, they sat two crates of paint balls on the Colonel's lap. They followed the Colonel out of the room, John thought the door closed and locked. They had to each take a turn in the transporter. The wheelchair didn't allow room for a rack of guns and two Marines. So the Colonel went first.

By the time the guys showed up, the Colonel had set the crates down on the bench in the back and was heading for the pilot's seat in Jumper One. The guys set the racks down in the rear compartment, which essentially blocked any idea of exiting the jumper should the Colonel change his mind.

"Thanks fellas." He called over his shoulder. "Would you be up to helping when I get back in an hour or so?"

"No problem Sir, just give us a shout." Offered the Sergeant.

After the Sergeant left, the Colonel raised the rear ramp and contacted the control room requesting departure. John did his pre-flight check and soon found himself in the gate room facing the blue wall of water. He eased the jumper through the Ancestral ring and on to the Alpha site.

oOo

"Quarterback to Trojans." Colonel Sheppard said into his comm. He was flying low and cloaked wanting to see what was happening on the ground. This planet still had another two hours of daylight.

"Trojans here." Crackled Lorne's voice in the comm. The signal was getting weaker as the Colonel flew a southerly route.

John turned the jumper around and headed back north. "Quarterback needs a landing zone." He requested.

John kept flying north; as he skimmed over the tops of the local trees he saw Lorne and a few of the Marines indicating a landing zone for the jumper. John eased Jumper One down into the green meadow. As the back ramp lowered John turned around and faced the back compartment from the forward compartment. Lorne walked up the ramp, while the new Marines waited for orders at the bottom.

"What's the score Evan?" Colonel Sheppard asked out of curiosity.

"Three to nine." Lorne responded. Meaning three humans lost and nine Wraith taken out.

"Nine?" Repeated the Colonel. "Nine out of sixteen, not bad. As you can see, I brought new paint guns. Looks like you get to be red Wraith tomorrow." Noticing that the red paint guns were at the far back of the jumper.

Col. Lorne nodded and motioned for the two Marine recruits to enter and remove the red rack of paint guns. Once they were out of the way, "we'll get these swapped out. The Jay Hawks are camping just over that ridge." Lorne pointed to the ridge that was straight ahead of the jumper. Before exiting the jumper, Lorne picked up the box containing the red paint pellets.

"Okay. I'll deliver their guns and be back in fifteen to collect the returns. Where's Ronon? I'll drop him off and bring back Teyla." John said.

"Here." Came Ronon's low voice as he walked into Jumper One. Making his way around the rack of paint guns to the forward compartment and taking a seat in the co-pilot's chair.

"Hey buddy, how's this bunch shaping up?" John asked as he turned around and put himself back in the pilot's seat area. Once Lorne was out of the way, he closed the ramp and lifted off. John valued the Satedan's opinion greatly.

"They're a little green, but some of them show promise." Ronon flat out stated.

"Quarterback to Jay Hawks." He said once he was in the air and headed over the ridge that Lorne pointed out. While waiting for an answer to his radio call John said, "hopefully they will be a lot greener by the end of tomorrow." The Colonel pointed over his shoulder to the rack of paint guns.

"Jay Hawks here." Mjr. Jacobs responded.

"Requesting landing zone." Colonel Sheppard replied, then noticing there was a place already laid out he continued. "Ah…I see ya. Be there in a minute."

John landed Jumper One on a patch of crushed rock near a stream. Lowering the back hatch down, Major Jacobs entered. "I heard the score Major. Hope you do better tomorrow. Looks like you get to be green humans." The Colonel pointed to the rack of paint guns.

Ronon picked up one end and Major Jacobs took the other and carried it out. John put the box of green paint pellets on his lap and wheeled himself to the edge of the ramp since he could, now that the racks were out of his way.

"Where's Teyla? I'll take her over to the Trojans while you swap out the paint guns. Then I'll come back." John advised them, handing the box to Jacobs.

"Here I am Colonel." Came a soft voice out from behind a large bush of some sort. Teyla walked into the jumper and took a seat in front.

John closed up the jumper and took off, landing in the same spot as he did before. He said goodnight to Teyla while the Marines put the rack of yellow paint guns back in the jumper. He took off once more over the ridge and picked up a rack of blue paint guns before heading back to the Stargate and dialing Atlantis.

When he landed Jumper One in the jumper bay, he comm'd Lt. Connifer, Sgt. Moore and Corporals Henderson and Fisher. They four men carried the racks back to his old room. John locked the door with his mind and headed to his room for a shower and sleep.

oOo

Colonel Sheppard waited on the balcony overlooking the gate for his new Marines to come back from the Alpha site. They were due back at any moment and he wanted to see how they faired.

John had kept busy all day. He and Carl went for a run since Ronon was off world. After breakfast he met with Dr. Deerman about her mission to P2C-578 in his office. In the afternoon he managed to get some paperwork done in his office, in between counseling two of his Marines with personal problems. He had dinner with his friends at 18:30 and now he found himself waiting in the control room.

The klaxons rang out and the gate technician, Mary, announced, "incoming worm hole. Sir it's Col. Lorne's IDC."

"Lower the shield." John said.

A minute after the shield was lowered tired Marines came walking through. Milling around the gate room like they didn't know what to do next some uniforms spotted with paint. When Col. Lorne walked through he immediately took the stairs to the control room two at a time and walked over to the Colonel.

"What was the final score Colonel?" Asked Sheppard.

"Two to thirteen, Sir." Lorne responded with a not so happy face. Meaning two humans killed and thirteen Wraith dead.

"Looks like Major Jacobs had a few tricks up his sleeve." The Colonel smiled at Evan, "Good work Colonel. I'd like you and Major Jacobs to meet me in my office say 10:00 hours to debrief." John finished saying.

"Yes Sir." Lorne nodded and went back down the stairs. Passing Teyla and Ronon on the way up to see the Colonel.

"Marines!" Colonel Sheppard shouted from above to get their attention. The Marines stopped and all turned to look up at the Colonel. "You did good work. I'm proud of you. Now get some food, hit the showers and get a good nights rest. Leave your weapons in the orientation room. I'll take care of them for you. Dismissed!"

At the word dismissed, the Marines filed out of the gate room heading for the orientation room to drop off their weapons.

John turned around to see Teyla and Ronon leaning against the front console. "Everything go okay?"

"Yes John, everything went fine." Teyla reported. Ronon gave a nod of approval.

"You guys look beat. Get some rest and I'll see you for breakfast." John said. Teyla bowed her head and Ronon tipped his chin slightly in acknowledgement before heading back down the stairs. John rolled into Elizabeth's office to the transporter and headed for the orientation room. He had thirty-six paint ball guns to put away.

When John reached the orientation room the last of the Marines were filing out one by one. John picked up six paint ball guns and laid them across his lap. He tried for more, but couldn't balance them, not without losing one or two in the process. Slowly he wheeled himself down the hall to his old quarters to put them away. He rolled himself back to the orientation room and gathered up six more, then rolled down the hall to his old room and put them away. He repeated this process four more times.

John hadn't noticed that some of the new Marines were watching him from a nearby corridor.

"Marines. Don't you have somewhere to be?" Asked Col. Lorne.

"Yes Sir." The three Marines said in unison. "Sir?" Asked one of them.

"Go ahead Corporal; what did you want to ask?" Replied Lorne. He could tell the young soldier had something on his mind.

"Sir, why is Colonel Sheppard putting the paint ball guns away? I mean…he's a Colonel, Commander of Atlantis. Couldn't he just ask someone to do it?" Asked the new recruit, his two pals nodded at the query.

"Didn't you hear what he said in the gate room? He said he would take care of them for you." Lorne responded.

"Yes Sir, but…" The new recruit looked stumped. So did his two buddies.

"Colonel Sheppard doesn't believe in asking someone to do something that he himself isn't willing to do. That's just the way he is. Who knows, you may end up on night watch with him. The Colonel still takes his turn on watch. Now go on. Get some food, shower and rest up." Lorne patted the young Corporal on the shoulder as he and his two friends headed for the mess hall.

Lorne couldn't resist putting a smile on his face. He knew, come day break, all the new Marines would be told about Colonel Sheppard.

oOo

Before John left the mess hall with coffee, he comm'd Elizabeth to see if the Daedalus was back. He didn't want to end up one cup short. As it were, the Daedalus got back late last night and Col. Caldwell was eager to give his report. John rolled in with coffee for everyone and listened to Caldwell's report.

The gang was all there for breakfast and John got an unofficial review of the new Marines from Teyla and Ronon. When everyone was finished eating Lorne asked Colonel Sheppard and Ronon to his office. The white boards had arrived and had been sitting in his office for the past four days.

The three men left the mess hall heading for the nearest transporter. John's gaze was at the far end of the hall watching a familiar figure about to turn the corner. He could tell it was two women walking side-by-side, one with dark colored hair the other a light brown. The dark haired woman was petite the light brown haired woman was taller. When they reached the transporter Evan and Ronon stopped, but John kept wheeling himself down the hall a little faster than he had previously. He hadn't heard his friends call his name or ask where he was going. John kept heading for the intersection of hallways.

Once at the corner, where he saw the two figures turn, he stopped and looked. Hoping to catch another look at that familiar body. To his surprise the hallway was empty. There were several connecting hallways and storage rooms with doors the pair could have gone in. There was also a balcony they could have gone out onto, but to check every room, every door would take time. John sat still in the middle of the hallway unaware of his immediate surroundings.

Ronon and Evan walked up to him, talking the whole time to him, but John hadn't heard a single word. When Evan placed his hand on the Colonel's shoulder, John startled a bit. Thinking he was going crazy, John shook his head to bring himself out of his bewildered state of mind.

"Sir, is there a problem?" Asked a concerned Evan Lorne. "Are you all right?"

Ronon cast his eyes down the empty hall and back to the Colonel, his friend, and over to Lorne shrugging his shoulders and wondering what was going on, but not voicing his query. John, after a few minutes, looked at his two companions. Both had worried and concerned expressions written for everyone to see across their face.

"No problem Evan. And I'm fine." John answered, followed by a whispered, "I think." John put his hands on his wheels and turned himself around to head back to the transporter. Evan and Ronon gave each other a look, but followed their commanding officer back to the transporter. John still needed to get to Lorne's office before his meeting with him and Jacobs at 10:00 hours.

Six minutes later the three arrived at Lorne's office across from the orientation room. There against the wall sat two long boxes, the shipping label clearly read 'white board'. Evan and Ronon opened the first box. Ronon pulled out a pristine long 'white board' under six feet in length and about ten inches wide at the center. Front and rear of the board were curved out a little larger, almost like an hour glass shape, but not so thin in the center. The back of the board was all white and glossy, whereas the front of the board was painted full length in the color of Atlantis' blue ocean. At the front of the board was the Atlantis emblem, sort of a 'V' shape design, a Pegasus with its wings spread wide open underneath the gold lettering that spelled Atlantis. It looked just like the patches they wore on their uniforms. Evan pulled the second board from the box and it was an identical match to the first.

"So Ronon, are these anything like Bak'ta on Sateda?" John inquired looking over at the two men holding the snow boards.

"Close Sheppard. A little long maybe but close." Answered the big man. Underneath the cold exterior Ronon projected Sheppard could see that the Satedan wanted to try them out sooner rather than later.

"We'll try to go back to P3S-925 soon. In the mean time, I think we should put these babies in a safe place. Let's take them to my old room. That's where the skiing gear is, the paint ball guns, Carson's fishing pole, my surf board and all the other non-regulation equipment is stored. I know they will be safe as Atlantis will only open the door for me." John explained and gave a sinful grin that only Atlantis would allow him to open the door.

"These must of cost a pretty penny Sir. Especially with the personalized Atlantis logo how did you manage it?" Evan asked.

"Its better you don't know Evan. Now let's get these babies tucked away before too many people see them…especially Col. Caldwell. He wasn't too happy to see the paint ball guns we used for our war games." John told his friends.

John led the way down the hall towards his old room, Ronon and Evan each carrying a 'white board'. As the boards were safely stashed away, Ronon headed for the gym. The Marines would be by soon for some lessons. Evan and John headed for the Colonels' office to meet with Major Jacobs and discuss the war games.

oOo

"…so you're saying Campbell and Martinelli excelled and Bishop could use some additional training." John summed up after the last two hours of going over the evaluations of the thirty-two Marines.

"Yes Sir. Everyone else was on the mark in my opinion." Offered Col. Lorne.

"I agree Colonel this batch is one of the better one's we've gotten lately." Mjr. Jacobs contributed. "If you don't mind Colonels, I'd like to assist Bishop." He added.

John looked at Evan for any objections and found none, "that's fine Major. Colonel why don't you put Campbell and Martinelli on a couple of teams and see how they handle off-world. If nothing else fellas, I think we're done and I'm hungry." The Colonel began closing down his laptop but stopped midway.

Lorne and Jacobs nodded and were getting ready to leave, when Lorne noticed the Colonel had zoned out all of a sudden. Colonel Sheppard was staring at his office door intently, he hadn't noticed anyone in the hall walking past, but he heard someone laugh.

"Sir, you coming?" Lorne asked, walking around the desk to again place his hand on the Colonel's shoulder to draw him back like he did in the mess hallway earlier.

"Yes…yes. Just let me put my laptop away and I'll be right with you fellas." John quickly said.

With Major Jacobs leading the way, the three men headed for the mess hall. Lorne noticed that Carl was just stepping out of the transporter and heading to the mess hall as well. Jacobs had already entered and Colonel Sheppard was right behind. Lorne slowed down which allowed the doors to close after the Colonel entered.

"Carl, got a minute? I need to talk to you about the Colonel." Lorne said and gestured that the two step away from the doorway.

"Of course Colonel, what about Colonel Sheppard."

"Well I'm not sure, but twice today the Colonel just…zoned out. When we left here after breakfast he went right past the transporter to the end of the hall and just sat there staring down an empty hall. Then just a few minutes ago in his office, he was staring at his door. Both times I had to put my hand on his shoulder to snap him out of it. Is there something wrong with the Colonel?" Lorne explained and wondered _'what now'_.

"Thank you for telling me. I don't believe anything is wrong, but I will watch him closer." Carl offered. "We better get inside before the Colonel starts to wonder about our absence."

Carl and Evan walked into the mess hall, filled their plates and took a seat with the Colonel, Teyla and Rodney. A few minutes later Ronon joined them. Carl sat so he could observe the Colonel hopefully going unnoticed.

The Colonel acted fine all through lunch. As hard as Carl observed all the little nuances, he couldn't see anything wrong. He hoped that if something was bothering him, he would tell him about it later.

oOo

"Dr. Rhomburg, please come in. Have a seat." John motioned to the doctor who knocked on his office door.

Dr. Phillip Rhomburg is the department head for Astronomy on Atlantis. He and his assistant had been brought to Atlantis to catalog the planets, nebulas, constellations, and clusters in the different systems in Pegasus. Dr. Rhomburg is one of the original expedition members and came from Russia.

Dr. Rhomburg can be described as a jolly little man of five feet eight inches tall. At fifty seven years old he is balding slightly on top but has a well groomed white beard.

Although Astronomy of today is considered the same as Astrophysics, Dr. Rhomburg observed the old disciplines: astrometry, celestial navigation and observational astronomy. Dr. Rhomburg differs from Dr. McKay, as an Astrophysicist. Dr. McKay is focused on acquiring and analyzing data, mainly using basic principles of physics.

"Thank you Colonel. Have you given any thought to my mission request?" Dr. Rhomburg asked his Russian accent heavy.

"I have actually. How many are you planning to take?" Colonel Sheppard inquired as the good doctor failed to include that bit of information in is pre-mission filing.

"There will be three of us. Myself, my assistant and the new photographer that arrived on the Daedalus four days ago." Answered the Doctor.

"Now, you know Doc that before anyone can go off-world they need to be certified. I know you have, you've been here long enough, but has your assistant and the photographer been through training?" Colonel Sheppard asked. He knew the photographer, having only being here four days, would not have had time for training, but he wasn't sure about the Docs assistant.

"My assistant has been certified. The new Astrophotographer has not." Explained Rhomburg.

"Okay then, before I can okay the mission, your Astrophotographer will have to pass training. I'll contact Lt. Col. Lorne and have him set up training for your Astrophotographer this week yet. What is their name?" Asked the Colonel taking his stylus and noting the name on his PDA.

"Allison Hodges." Dr. Rhomburg stated.

"As soon as I get word that Miss Hodges has passed training, I'll schedule the mission. At that time we can get together to go over the details, how long, equipment list and escort. Sound okay?" The Colonel stated.

"Yes Colonel, very fine. We will talk later. Thank you." Dr. Rhomburg stood and offered his hand out for a shake. The Colonel obliged.

After the doctor left, he comm'd Col. Lorne and had him schedule weapons training for the ten new science people that had arrived on the Daedalus.

The rest of his afternoon went by quiet and fast. He found himself having dinner with his friends like usual. After dinner he went back to his quarters to do his exercises with Carl.

"Colonel you seem distracted lately. Care to talk about what's bothering you?" Carl asked as he lifted the Colonel's right leg up and began stretching the back leg muscles.

"Not really."

Carl was hoping the Colonel would share his thoughts but it looked like he was going to have to push a little harder to get the man to talk. "Colonel Lorne told me you zoned out on him twice today. Is this true?"

John stared at Carl deciding whether to lie or tell the truth. Weighing his odds and deciding against pissing Carl off, John opted for the truth. "True."

"You know you can tell me anything and it stays between us." Carl reminded him.

"I know. I just don't know what it is. How do you explain the feeling you get when you see someone walk down the hall and it's so familiar or hear a laugh or smell a scent of perfume that you knew by heart a long time ago. And all you want to do is find it." John opened up and let a little bit out.

Carl knew there was more to it. Resting the Colonel's right leg down on the exam bed and lifting the left leg to stretch out the muscles, "is that what has been happening lately? Yesterday outside the mess hall, today in the hall and your office?"

"Yeah I guess." John whispered. "I was married once. Ronon is the only other person who I've told that too. A long time ago it started out great. We were so much in love. I knew every inch of her body, every curve. I memorized her voice, her laugh and her scent, even her walk. Passion. She wore a perfume called Passion. But after a while she couldn't put up with my job I guess. I was a Captain back then. I would have to leave her for months at a time, although I wrote practically every day. When I got to come home on leave I guess I had changed some. War can do that you know. She said my touch was different, my eyes were darker and that I never smiled or laughed anymore. I think she was saying those things as an excuse. She wanted me to get out, take a safe job, a nine to five kind of job. She didn't understand that I needed to fly, that the sky was…the feeling…I didn't know how to explain it either, I guess. Anyway, I got new orders to Afghanistan and one day, when I came back from a mission, I was handed divorce papers to sign. So I just signed them and sent them back. Two months later I got an official letter stating I wasn't married any longer." John let out a heavy sigh, some of the weight on his shoulders released.

"So you think this person is on Atlantis now?" Asked Carl. He had stopped with the leg stretches and was just leaning against the wall listening.

John sat up on the exam bed and let his legs dangle over the side. "I don't know. I think I see her, but I can never get a clear look. It's like chasing a shadow or a ghost. I think I hear her laugh but when I look around I don't see her. It makes no sense; I checked through the names of the new arrivals and read their profiles after I thought I heard the laugh in the mess hall. I don't see how she could be here. All the scientists are pretty smart and tops in their field. Alli wasn't an academic; she was a free spirit which was why we were so good together in the beginning. I think I'm going nuts Carl. Can living in another galaxy for almost five years make you nuts?"

"I don't think you are going nuts Colonel." Carl pushed off the wall and moved around the exam bed where the Colonel was sitting to stand in front him. "Perhaps it is as simple as someone wearing the same perfume. After that your subconscious took over and you just want it to be her. Like I told you before, none of us can go back to the way it was."

Carl decided that the Colonel didn't need to do the rest of his exercises so he let him have a pass for the night. Carl aided the Colonel with his shower and when he was done retired to his room for the rest of the evening.

John did a little work on his laptop, read a little of War and Peace and went to bed early for change.


	2. Chapter 2 Captured

Chapter 2 – Captured

Col. Lorne had the ten civilians new to Atlantis report to the gun range. By the time they arrived he had set out ten weapons on the chest high table facing ten newly hung targets fifty feet away, along with safety goggles. As they came in Lorne stationed each person at one of the make shift cubicles. With their backs to the targets, the ten faced him as he started his instruction.

"This is a 9mm hand gun ladies and gentleman." Showing the weapon to each one as he spoke. "Although it is my job and the job of the Marines to keep you civilians safe there may come a time when you will have to defend yourself. Today I will show you how to handle this weapon, its safety features and how to shot it. Any questions so far." Col. Lorne asked the apprehensive bunch standing before him.

"Okay…I have one for you. Have any of you ever held or fired a weapon of any kind before?" Lorne asked.

Slowly three hands raised into the air.

'_Three out of ten, it could be worse.'_ Lorne thought to himself. "Alright that's good. This is the safety." Pointing to a little switch type lever on the left side of the gun. "At all times you must keep your weapon in this mode unless you intend to shoot…" Col. Lorne made eye contact with each civilian as he continued to explain the handling and safety of the weapon. "…would you all turn around now. You will see a weapon on the table just like the one I just explained to you. You may pick it up and hold it. It is perfectly safe as there are no bullets in the weapon. Get used to the feel of it in your hands, the weight, and the texture."

As each civilian picked up the weapon in front of them he walked behind each one noting how they responded. When he was satisfied that the civilians were not deathly afraid of the weapon he decided it was time for a demonstration on how hold and fire it.

"Please lay the weapon back down on the table and gather behind me." Lorne watched as each person laid the weapon down and moved in his direction. "I am going to demonstrate the proper way to hold your weapon. Feet slightly shoulder width apart. Using both hands on the weapon, raise and point it at the target. Notice, since I am right handed, my right hand is gripped around the handle with my forefinger slightly bent against the trigger, while my left hand wraps over my right, arms straight and elbows locked." Putting his weapon back in his side holster he instructed his students to go back to their stations and assume the firing posture he had just described.

Again, walking behind each civilian, he stopped to make slight adjustments here and there to their stance. When the Colonel was satisfied he instructed them to lay the weapon down and gather behind him once more.

"This time I will be firing my weapon at the target." Colonel Lorne put on the safety goggles, removed his side arm from its holster and brought it up to the counter. Reaching into his vest pocket he pulled out a clip of ammunition. Inserting the clip, clicking off the safety, he fired one bullet at the target.

Bang.

Seven civilians jumped at the sudden loud sound the weapon made. Removing the clip from his weapon he placed it back in his vest pocket. Colonel Lorne re-holstered his weapon, as he turned around removing the safety goggles.

"That ladies and gentleman is one shot from a 9mm hand gun. Everyone back to your stations. Please put on the safety goggles, get into your firing stance, leave the weapon on the counter and wait for one of my men to bring you ammunition. My men will watch as you load your weapon. Once loaded place the weapon back on the counter making sure the safety is on. Any questions?" Lorne asked after giving instructions.

The ten civilians moved back to their stations after listening to the instructions and did as they were told. Three Marines brought out ammunition and, one by one, each civilian loaded their gun and as instructed, when they were done, placed it back down on the counter.

"Alright…you are going to fire your weapon only when I say and at first it will be one at a time." Lorne walked to the furthest end station behind one of the Earth science scientists. "You ready?" Lorne asked the young woman. He received a nod to the affirmative. "Okay, pick up your weapon and prepare to fire."

Lorne checked the woman's stance, arm position and hand placement. "Turn the safety off and gently pull the trigger."

The woman did as she was told and a bullet rang out. Bang. Hitting the target paper, but not the target itself.

"Good. Really good for your first time. Click the safety on, place the weapon on the counter and you can relax for a few minutes," patting her on the shoulder.

Lorne moved on to the next civilian, Carson's new nurse Nellie. Following the procedures, the nurse fired the weapon hitting the target dead center.

"I take it you've done this before?" Colonel Lorne asked with a bit of surprise in his voice.

"Yes Sir. During nursing school I joined the ROTC." Nellie explained.

"Fine. Safety on and place the weapon down on the table. Relax for a few minutes." Lorne advised.

Moving on to the next station, Lorne had the civilian from the science department follow his instructions and fire his weapon. Hitting the target a little to the left of center.

Lorne continued down the row until each of the ten civilians fired their weapon for the first time. Once they were all done he had them turn around for more instructions.

"Everyone did great. In order to get certified you must hit the target within the black four rings with no less than fifteen shots. My men will change the targets and will be around to help you. So everyone can take five for right now." Lorne gave the signal for his men to change the targets while he went and got a box of 9mm clips. He knew some of the civilians would take a second or third clip in order to get fifteen hits in the necessary target area.

Fresh targets hung, the five Marines stood ready to help. It was no surprise when Nellie emptied her clip in rapid succession. Hitting the target center with little effort. Two of the scientists also did well with their targets. One of the Earth science women also did well.

Lorne moved up behind Allison Hodges and watched as she emptied her clip into the target before her. She had hit her target dead center on her first try, and looking at the target, she had hit it dead center each time.

"Miss Hodges well done. Nice and steady control. Where did you learn to shoot? ROTC?" Asked Col. Lorne.

"No Sir, my ex-husband taught me to shoot. He was in the Air Force and was concerned for my safety while he was away so much." Allison explained as she set the gun safety, removed the empty clip and laid the weapon down on the counter. "Now I prefer to shoot with a camera." She added.

"Photographer huh?" Lorne questioned.

"Actually Astrophotographer. I take pictures of planets, moons, stars, you name it." Allison said.

"Sounds interesting. I'll let Dr. Rhomburg know you are set for off-world travel. You're free to go."

"Thank you Colonel. I really enjoyed the refresher course." Allison winked and left the gun range.

Colonel Lorne moved on to the next civilian from medical and assisted the young man with his efforts. After three plus hours he decided to call it quits for the day. Four civilians still had not managed to make fifteen shots in the required area. And besides, he was getting hungry.

oOo

"Colonel, how's your day going?" McKay snapped out while setting his tray down on the table.

"Fine McKay, and you?" Sheppard tossed back.

"Oh about the same." Rodney's response came out muffled and he was talking again with his mouth full.

"Can I join you?" Asked Lorne.

Rodney pulled out a chair for the Lt. Colonel. "You know you don't need to ask. Now sit down already."

Lorne took his place in the proffered chair. "Colonel, I sent you the list of civilians who passed weapons training. And I've already notified Dr. Rhomburg that Allison Hodges has qualified. Did you know she is an Astrophotographer?"

"Thanks Evan. How did the class go?" Sheppard asked looking around the room as a familiar smell passed by his nose.

"For the most part good. Six passed and after three hours I called it quits on the last four." Taking a bite of his sandwich, half chewing and half talking, Evan added, "watch out for Nellie, the Docs new nurse. She hits dead center, said she learned in the ROTC during nursing school. I'd hate to end up on the wrong end of one of her needles. And Miss Hodges, she's really good too. She said her ex-husband taught her, he was some Air Force guy."

"Her file states her husband was a banker, killed during a bank robbery. It didn't mention that he was ex-military." John informed Lorne thinking back over the file he had read.

"Probably why he ended dead. All you military types are a like. You have that macho military heroism complex. He probably thought he could take the bad guys down. Poor guy." Rodney injected. "What? You know I'm right."

"Never mind McKay." John shook his head. "Rodney, can you show me where the Pede system is located? Dr. Rhomburg wants to takes pictures of twin nebulas and I'd like to make sure the Wraith aren't in the neighborhood."

"Come to the control room after lunch and I'll show you. We can check the data. You know, I wouldn't mind taking a look at twin nebulas myself. Who did you have in mind as military escort?" Rodney wondered if he could talk Sheppard in letting him go or better yet, his whole team.

"Lt. Ruiz's team and the new guy Campbell. Why?" John asked.

"Like I said, I wouldn't mind taking a look." McKay retorted. Getting that look from the Colonel Rodney continued. "Alright, do you know what a nebula is? Probably not. Your fly-boy brain can't possibly know. So I'll tell you. It is an interstellar cloud of dust, hydrogen gas and plasma. Hydrogen is the lightest of all gases and the most abundant element in the universe. We're talking rocket fuel here. Plasma is considered to be a distinct state of matter. Ionized plasma means one or more free electrons, which are not bound to an atom or molecule. The free electric charges make the plasma electrically conductive so that it responds strongly to electromagnetic fields, which affects the behaviour of charged objects in the vicinity of the field. Dr. Rhomburg discovered twin nebulas, twice the power. So you can see why I would be interested in having a look and collecting some data." Rodney took a long deep breath as he finished his spiel on nebula 101.

Colonel Sheppard and Lt. Col. Lorne gave each other a look across the luncheon table. "Sir, did you understand any of what he said?" Asked Lorne with a quizzical smile.

"Only the part where he wants to look at it." John deadpanned back. A twinkle in his eye and a slow grin beginning to form.

"Why do I waste my breath on you two?" McKay huffed and went back to eating.

As promised, McKay and the two Air Force Officers went to the control room. Rodney brought up on the large view screen a condensed map of their galaxy, pointing out the Pede system and several of the planets nearby. Checking the recent data on the area, the Colonel deemed it to be safe to authorize a mission to photograph the twin nebulas. It appeared that the Wraith culled several of the planets about a month ago, and by default most likely would not be coming back until the population grew again.

Evan headed back to his office. With his new rank he discovered came an awful lot of paperwork. Now he understood why the Colonel went on a lot of missions that found him pulling all-nighters to get the paperwork done whenever Dr. Weir demanded.

John and Rodney headed for the lab section. Rodney went back to his lab while Colonel Sheppard went to Dr. Gebhardt's lab. The Doctor wanted to go over his mission request hoping to get a spot on the mission board soon to study the healing plant found by Lt. Ruiz's team.

Colonel Sheppard and Dr. Marvin Gebhardt discussed the mission, planned who would be going, and what equipment would be needed. The Colonel tentatively set up the mission for the end of the week. While in the science wing of Atlantis, John decided he could also see Dr. Rhomburg and finalize his plans for the Pede system mission since he was in the neighborhood.

"Sheppard to Dr. Rhomburg." The Colonel said as he tapped his comm. Rolling down the hallway in the direction of the doctor's lab he waited for a response.

"_Dr. Rhomburg here Colonel what can I do for you?" _

"Doctor, I'm close by. Do you have time to go over the details of your mission?" Colonel Sheppard asked slowing as he rounded the corner.

"_Of course. My staff and I are set up in lab 5 right now. Would that be suitable?" _Asked Dr. Rhomburg.

"Fine Doc, be there in a couple of minutes. Sheppard out." John continued down the hall towards lab five.

The lab was at the end of the next hall and the first door on the right. There were no windows in the lab and it had two large square tables in the middle with a few stools sitting around the edges of the big tables. On two of the walls were lateral storage drawers four inches deep forty-eight inches wide and three feet in depth to hold the maps and soon to be photos of the Pegasus Galaxy. Each lateral file had ten drawers, the top of the cabinet was clear of any obstacles which made it easy to take out a map and lay it on top.

The far back wall was sparse. Six prints were taped on the wall. Prints which Allison had taken on her three week journey to Atlantis. There were a couple of Atlantis that had been taken from the east pier. The prints were poster size and the beauty and quality showed. It dressed up lab 5 from the dreary appearance it had before. On the back square table sat four rather large silver cases and two smaller black ones.

Dr. Rhomburg, his assistant Jessica Weist who goes by Jess is a German Astronomer and Allison Hodges his new Astrophotographer sat at the first large table as you came into the room. The three lined the left side of the table as you faced the room from the doorway. The Doctor was standing between the two women, Allison to his left and Jess to his right near the lab door. A hand sketched draft of the Pede system laid scrolled out on the table top. Dr. Rhomburg used a metal two foot pointer to signify which planets he thought would give Allison the best chance to photograph the twin nebulas from.

The Colonel came rolling through the lab door spouting an apology for taking longer than he expected. "Sorry Doc got held up in the hall by one of my Marines." The Colonel rolled himself into the room and stopped at the front edge of the large table in front of him. The Colonel's attention drawn to the Doctor.

Dr. Rhomburg was still leaning over the table with his metal pointer stretched out when the Colonel came into the lab. "It is not a problem Colonel I was just telling my staff which planets I thought offered the best view of the nebulas. Colonel I don't think you have met my assistant. This is Jessica Weist, she is an Astronomer." Dr. Rhomburg pointed to the woman on his right.

Jessica was petite, short dark brown hair, her green eyes hidden by her black rimmed glasses. She smiled and nodded to the Colonel after the introduction.

"On my left is Allison Hodges. She is a new arrival from Earth and her specialty is Astrophotography." Dr. Rhomburg stepped back to reveal Allison sitting on one of the tall stools.

Allison and John locked eyes for a few moments neither one knowing what to say or do right then. John was stunned at seeing Allison after all these years and he was relieved to realize he hadn't been going crazy these past five days. It was her, her laugh he heard in the mess hall and outside his office. Her scent he smelled in the transporter and her walk he saw at the end of the hallway. Feelings and memories he had buried deep came flooding to the surface.

It appeared that Allison was stunned to see John as well. But the bigger shock was seeing John in a wheelchair that took her breath away. It had been a long time since she'd thought of him, although at the gun range she recalled him briefly.

"John?" Allison choked out. He didn't look that different; same unruly dark hair, a few age lines around the eyes and that same quirky half-grin. Maybe a little more muscle in the shoulders and arms, but it was the wheelchair that made him look different. John was always moving, running, always in motion. She couldn't believe her eyes; her John was sitting in a wheelchair.

John blinked at hearing his first name. Everyone called him Colonel, Sheppard or Sir. Elizabeth was one of the few who called him by his first name. Heck he couldn't even get Carl to call him John and he had been taking care of him for the past eighteen months.

"Allison?" John answered back. She looked beautiful as ever, not a day older in comparison to his memories. Her shoulder length straight light brown hair was tucked behind her delicate ears. Her rich hazel eyes sparkled with her smile. Allison was tall but not too tall and her slender frame matched his own.

"Colonel? You know Miss Hodges?" Asked the Russian Doctor noticing the two had not taken their eyes of each other.

"An old acquaintance Doc." John said not taking his eyes off Allison. "Pede system." John raised an eyebrow trying to get the mission planned.

As Rhomburg started talking and pointing to the different planets on his map, the Colonel half listened but never took his eyes off Allison. The Colonel would nod when appropriate, say an 'ah umm' when required and pretty much agreed to everything the Doctor said. The Doctor could have asked for the Daedalus to take them to the Pede system and the Colonel would have said yes.

"So Doctor how much equipment are we talking about?" The Colonel inquired. He needed to know if one jumper would be enough or if he would have to schedule two or more.

Allison spoke up before Dr. Rhomburg could answer. "I will need what is sitting on this table, plus two additional tripods."

"Okay. Doc send me the details. I'll arrange for escort and it looks like two jumpers. You and your team will depart tomorrow at 09:30 hours. Meet in the jumper bay. Anything else?" The Colonel looked over at the Doctor, his assistant and Allison. "Okay then, see you tomorrow." With that said the Colonel backed himself away from the table, turned and left the lab without another word.

"Joh…" Allison started to say, but the Colonel was too fast.

oOo

Coming into his quarters he wheeled himself over to Carl's bedroom door and banged on it shouting for Carl to come out. When Carl didn't appear the Colonel banged again.

"Sheppard to Epson." He said excitedly into his comm.

"_Epson here."_

"Carl where are you?" Asked an anxious Colonel, his breathing was erratic to say the least.

"_I'm helping Dr. Beckett in the infirmary. Do you need me Colonel_?" Carl inquired calmly.

"Yeah I think so." John said a little more quietly.

"_Where are you?"_

"In my quarters." Responded John.

"_Alright I'll be there in a few minutes."_ Carl said. He turned to Dr. Beckett and asked for a mild sedative before he left the infirmary. From the Colonel's tone of voice over the radio he figured he may need it. Beckett offered to go with him, but Carl said he would radio if the Doctor's assistance was required.

A few minutes felt like hours as John paced in his quarters. He wheeled himself to his bedroom door, stopped and wheeled himself back to Carl's door. John made this trip across the room several times by the time Carl entered.

"Colonel what's wrong?" Carl asked as he moved to step in front of the Colonel who was pacing back and forth. Carl was dressed in his gray BDU pants, gray t-shirt with his gray and red jacket. Over the top he wore a white lab coat. He was in a hurry when leaving the infirmary and forgot to take it off.

Almost running into the Swiss Doctor, John stopped his forward movement looking up at Carl he began, "it _is_ her Carl. She's here. I just left a meeting with her down in lab 5. Why is she here? She looks the same Carl, beautiful as ever, hasn't changed a bit. For five days I thought I was going crazy, but I'm not. It really was her. She's real. She spoke to me even." John stammered out trying to catch his breath when he was done. "She called out my name as I left, but I can't deal with this right now. What am I going to do? She's here. After all these years she is here on Atlantis of all places. She's really here."

"Colonel if you don't calm your breathing down you're going to hyperventilate. Now take a slow deep breath for me. Let it out slowly…that's it…good. Now another. Again." Carl's calm voice was having the desired effect on the Colonel.

The Colonel listened to Carl's voice and did as he was told, taking a deep breath in and slowly letting it out, following Carl's instructions. When John finally got his breathing under control he realized he had one heck of a headache. He reached his hands up and rubbed at his temples, his head hung down, chin on his chest, eyes closed.

"Headache?" Carl asked although it didn't take a M.D. to figure that out. The Colonel's posture spoke volumes.

"Yeah." John quietly said.

"Colonel, why don't you go and lie down. I'll get you something for your headache and after you've rested we can talk." Carl offered.

'Okay." John thought that was a good idea. It was hard to think with his head pounding away. He turned and went into his room. Using the lift he got himself on his bed and stretched out closing his eyes.

Carl entered a minute later after stopping at the med cabinet to get an alcohol wipe, his blood pressure cuff and thermometer. For Carl and the Colonel it was standard procedure that Carl would take his vitals anytime Carl felt the need and the Colonel had no choice but to comply. It was an agreement that the Colonel had been coerced, lets say, into making if he wanted to keep flying. Carl was sneaky; he used the one thing he knew the Colonel could not live without as leverage.

Carl sat down on the edge of the bed, took hold of the Colonel's arm, and proceeded to take his blood pressure. The Colonel knew it was happening so he didn't bother to open his eyes. Once the blood pressure was taken, Carl took his pulse, respirations and temperature. While the Colonel still had his eyes closed, Carl used the alcohol wipe and pulled the sedative from his lab coat pocket injecting the mild sedative he had asked Dr. Beckett for.

At the coolness against his skin, John opened his eyes just in time to see a retreating syringe the contents of which had been injected into his bloodstream. "What was that?" The Colonel asked.

"Something to help with your headache." It wasn't the total truth, but it wasn't a total lie either. Carl knew the Colonel needed the rest before he could talk about what was bothering him.

The Colonel closed his eyes as they felt heavy this time. "You dru…me." He slurred as he succumbed to darkness.

John slept for two hours. By the time he woke, Carl had brought dinner to his room. His headache was gone and he honestly felt a little better after his rest. He hated it when Carson or Carl would sedate him without him knowing about it even if it was for his own good. The after effects took a while to wear off. He hated feeling sluggish and the cotton feeling in his mouth was awful to wake up to.

John got himself out of bed and back into his wheelchair. He went into the bathroom to first take care of some personal business. After he washed his hands he gulped down a glass full of water to wash away the cotton feeling in his mouth. When he was done he headed to the living space of his quarters to talk to Carl.

As he entered the living space Carl was just setting his dinner down on his desk. "You know I hate it when you sedate me." John started the conversation rolling over to his desk to see what Carl had brought him for dinner.

"How's your headache?" Carl replied knowing that it was gone and the sleep did the Colonel good.

"Gone. But that's not the point." John said as he ate. "And don't tell me its for my own good." He added.

Carl responded as he sat down on one of the chairs in the living space he shared with the Colonel. "It is for your own good Colonel. That's the only reason I did it." The Colonel was prone to panic attacks and the best way to control them was to mildly sedate him and give him time to rest.

John looked over at him trying to look upset, but deep down he new the Doc was only looking out for him and at times he did need looking after.

"Do you think you can calmly tell me what happened this afternoon?" Carl asked sitting relaxed in the chair with his fingers weaved together resting in his lap.

John's head nodded as he continued to eat. Giving him time to figure out his thoughts and what he wanted to tell Carl. Seeing Allison for the first time had thrown open the door to all of his locked away memories they surfaced almost drowning him. He couldn't believe she was across the large table from him. After all these years he still felt something for her. He wasn't sure what he felt, but it was there hidden in the back trying to break through the barriers that he put in place to protect himself.

"What happened this afternoon is simple. What am I going to do about it is what gave me a headache." John started saying. "I had a meeting with Dr. Rhomburg the Astrophysicist in his lab with his assistant and new Astrophotographer. Turns out Allison is the Astrophotographer. We were both shocked. I don't know who was more shocked her or me but it was all I could do to not run out of the lab like a silly schoolboy. I couldn't keep my eyes off her. I barely heard what Rhomburg said."

"Colonel ask yourself this: what do I want to happen? Keep in mind that its not only what you want, but what does she want. She might only want to be friends, whereas you might want more or vise-versa. I suggest you start by talking to her." Carl offered up his professional opinion as a psychologist.

"You're right as always. I need to…" John was interrupted by the door chime.

Carl got up and answered the door. On the other side stood Allison Hodges. "Hi. I was told these were John's quarters." Allison stated, then remembering he was a Colonel now. "I mean Colonel Sheppard's quarters. Is he here?"

Carl didn't get a chance to answer as the Colonel wheeled himself beside Carl at the open door. "I'm here Alli. Do you want to come in?" John offered with a wave of his hand.

Allison nodded and stepped into the living space. Looking around at the spacious room.

"Allison Hodges, this is Dr. Carl Epson. Carl this is Allison Hodges." John made quick the introductions.

"Pleasure to meet you." Carl said extending his hand in greeting.

Allison took his offered hand. "Nice to meet you too," she said with a smile.

"Colonel, if you don't need me, I'll take your dinner dishes back to the mess hall." Carl mentioned. The Colonel had finished his dinner for the most part, but Carl knew that he wouldn't go back to it now that Allison was here.

"Thanks Carl." John said not even glancing in his direction, he couldn't stop looking at Allison.

Carl picked up the tray with the mostly cleared dishes and left the Colonel and Allison standing in the entry way.

"Ah…you can sit down it you want." John motioned to Allison to one of the chairs or the couch. It made it much easier on John to have a conversation if the other person was sitting rather than standing.

Allison moved over to the first chair she saw and sat down, her knees were shaking and she didn't know how much longer she would be able to stand. She berated herself for feeling like a silly schoolgirl. Quietly, she took a couple calming breaths, hoping that John wouldn't notice how nervous she was.

John moved and positioned himself in front of her about four feet away. "It was a shock to see you."

"For me too." Allison replied, her eyes wondering towards the wheelchair.

"I thought I was going crazy all week long. I thought I heard your laugh, I smelled your perfume." John wasn't sure why he just said all that.

"Oh. I didn't know either…everyone referred to you as 'the Colonel'. No one ever said your full name." Allison offered.

"So you married again." John blurted out.

"Yes. What about you?" Allison questioned.

"No." John said quickly. An awkward moment of silence fell between. "Irreconcilable differences."

"What?" Allison's head popped up at the statement, she had been playing with a string she found on the bottom of her shirt.

"I said irreconcilable differences. That's what the divorce papers said." John repeated himself.

"Right." Allison didn't know what to say. She hadn't given John the chance to make things better. She had taken the easy way out. Filed the papers while he was in a war zone thousands of miles away where he couldn't do much about.

The door to the suite opened and Carl walked back in and went right into his bedroom. Not even noticing what was going on in the living space.

"Dr. Epson does he live here?" Allison asked.

"Yes. That's his room over there. Mine is over here behind me." John stated then he had the urge to elaborate further. "Carl is a Dr. of Physical Medicine. He holds eight degrees and was brought here after my accident. Carl is a medical doctor, my physical therapist, my psychologist and dietitian among other things."

"What happened?" Allison pointed to John and the wheelchair.

"An accident on a mission. Can we talk about something else instead? Like how did you come to be on Atlantis?" John stated. He really didn't want to talk about his accident. Maybe at a later time he could tell her.

"Well that's a long story." Allison said. Her cheeks blushed pink a little.

"I don't have anything else to do right now." John retorted.

Allison smiled at his feeble attempt of humor. She took a deep breath and began telling him how she ended up on Atlantis. Starting from the time the divorce was final.

Allison was young, full of life, a free spirit, so after her divorce she traveled here and there. Somewhere along the way she had picked up a disposable camera and started taking pictures of where she had been and where she was going next. She would take pictures of other couples and sell them, which afforded her to buy more film and take more pictures. She got really good at taking pictures and even sold a few to some popular nature and hiking magazines.

After she had published a few photos she had enough money to purchase a better camera. That's where she met her husband the banker. He was looking to purchase a camera at the same shop. They talked and one thing led to another and a year later Allison married the banker. He had a safe nine to five job and was home every night for dinner. They took trips and Allison took more pictures, getting more of them published as time marched on.

A few years of marriage and her husband suggested she go to photography school. Allison was so good, a natural, he felt formal training would make her even better. During school she found the love of taking pictures of the heavens, the stars and the moon. Besides photography she took astronomy courses. One thing led to another which ultimately led her to a powerful CCD camera. Allison got so good that some of her celestial shots were published in scientific magazines.

It was from one of those magazines that the government approached her. She was asked to take pictures for them. Her college professor's highly recommended Allison. It came at a time seven months after her husband was shot and killed during a bank robbery. They were married for four wonderful years. Since she had no other family she took the job. It was five months after that that she was approached by the SGC. After signing a disclosure statement, that put the fear of God in her, she was told of the Stargate program and of the Atlantis expedition. Dr. Phillip Rhomburg had requested an Astrophotographer and she was offered the job if she wanted it. Eighteen days later she stepped out of the Daedalus and into a city that she only knew as a myth.

"That's my story. I would like to hear yours sometime." Allison stated.

"Maybe. But it's late and you have a mission at 09:30 tomorrow." John reminded her. Moving towards the door as a subtle hint that it was time for her to leave.

Allison picked up on the hint and walked behind John to the door. Standing in the opened doorway, "Goodnight John." She said and walked out and down the hall to the transporter.

'_Oh crap…the mission.'_ John tapped his comm, "Sheppard to Lorne." John wheeled himself back into the living space allowing the door to close behind him. He had watched Allison walk down the hall.

"_Go ahead Colonel."_ Lorne responded.

"Sorry for the short notice, but I need your team ready for a mission by 09:30 hours as well as Lt. Ruiz's team. Tell McKay he gets his wish to look at twin nebulas. You'll escort Dr. Rhomburg and his team to P1S-229. You'll be taking two jumpers so I'll meet you in the jumper bay at 09:15 hours." Colonel Sheppard rattled off at 22:17 hours.

"_Can do Sir. Anything else?"_ Lt. Col. Lorne asked.

"No Evan, that's all. Goodnight." The Colonel finished saying. "Carl." John said aloud.

The door to Carl's room opened and Carl walked out.

"Thanks Carl for what you said earlier. We talked…well actually Allison talked and I listened. I'll be ready for a shower in a couple of minutes." The Colonel advised.

"You're welcome. I'll be there shortly." Carl replied.

oOo

Colonel Sheppard woke at 04:53 full of energy for the coming day. He got himself out of bed and into his wheelchair leaving his quarters for a run. He felt the need to run some of this energy or anxiety out of his system.

Reaching the lower level hall where he did his morning runs, he was surprised to find Ronon. Usually they made plans to run in the morning and he hadn't done that yesterday. With a silent nod the pair started their run down the long Atlantis hallway.

Today he went five miles out and back. When he reached the transporter he mind and body still felt as if he could do it again. He made himself get into the transporter and went back to his room to shower before heading to the mess hall for coffee and a briefing with Elizabeth and Col. Caldwell.

"Appreciate the advance notice Colonel." Rodney snarked setting his breakfast tray down on the table.

"What can I say McKay, I was busy doing 'Colonel' stuff. I can assign another team." The Colonel shot back.

"No…I'm just saying a little more notice next time would be appreciated." Rodney placated. He really wanted a chance to get some readings from the twin nebulas. "I spent half the night gathering up equipment."

"Sure you were McKay." John gave his customary half-grin smile.

Teyla, Ronon, Carl and Evan soon joined the bickering duo for breakfast. Colonel Sheppard was the first to leave stating he would see them in the jumper bay at 09:30 hours. Sheppard wheeled himself to Dr. Rhomburg's lab and found it empty so he went to lab 5.

Entering the door to lab 5 he found Allison checking her equipment and marking if off on her PDA. One of the silver cases held a large telescope and her CCD camera. "What is that?" John asked peering into the case.

Allison was startled by the voice at the door. "John!" She said out loud. After she recovered from her startle, she proceeded to answer his question.

Behind the Colonel walked in Dr. Rhomburg and his assistant Jessica Weist. Not knowing if they had heard Allison's exclamation or not.

"Actually Miss Hodges its 'Colonel Sheppard' or 'Colonel' if you don't mind." John corrected her. Feeling on edge in doing so, but he didn't want personal feelings getting in the way of his job. And it was not appropriate to be on first name basis with the Commanding Officer of Atlantis.

Allison took the correction with a grain of salt. "Yes, of course, Colonel. My apologies." She offered.

"To answer your earlier question this is my CCD camera, charge coupled device. It's the biggest advance in astronomical imaging. It is very sensitivity and the clarity and reproducibility of the images obtained is phenomenal. The CCD itself is a light-sensitive chip that is found in all digital cameras and camcorders, and also in computer 'webcams'. During an exposure, photons collide with pixels on the chip, and an electrical charge is built up." Allison stopped for a moment and looked at John. She had launched into a full explanation when probably saying it was a camera would have been good enough. "I'm sorry. I do that sometimes. I get so caught up in my profession and love for taking pictures that I forget not everyone shares my passion."

John didn't care. He could listen to that voice all day long no matter what it was saying. It reminded him of his first meeting with McKay and his many tirades of explanations. He remembered telling Carl that Allison was not a scientist, and yet here she was explaining photons colliding with pixels. John just smiled, "need any help?"

Jess had two cases, one in hand. Dr. Rhomburg had taken one of the larger ones, which left Allison to carry one large case and two tripods. Allison had just finished closing and securing the last large silver case.

"Actually Colonel yes, if you could carry the two tripods that would be helpful." Allison said with a smile.

"Sure, hand them over." The Colonel responded.

Allison picked up the two tripod stands and handed them to the Colonel. Colonel Sheppard situated them on his lap so they were not in his way. Allison picked up the last large case and the four made their way to the jumper bay.

Jumper Two and Jumper Five were being prepped by the team as Dr. Rhomburg and Allison stowed their equipment. Rodney had already put his monitoring equipment in the back of Jumper Two. Dr. Rhomburg's equipment and Allison's camera case's were put in the back of Jumper Five.

Colonel Lorne came out of Jumper Two and walked over to his commanding officer. "Sir Jumpers Two and Five are prepped and ready." Lorne reported.

"Thank you Colonel. I'd like for Dr. Rhomburg and his team to ride in your jumper. Take good care of them, you have precious cargo and I'll see you back here in eight hours. They're your responsibility to keep safe and out of harm." The Colonel replied and watched as the final cases were put into the jumper.

Walking back from Jumper Five towards the two Colonel's Dr. Rhomburg and his staff stopped at the bottom of the ramp to Jumper Two.

"Dr. Rhomburg, Miss Weist, Miss Hodges you'll be riding in Jumper Two. This is Lt. Col. Lorne. He is in charge of the mission. Do as he says and I'll see all of you back here in eight hours." Instructed Colonel Sheppard. Leaving them in capable hands he headed to the control room. Allison was already familiar with Col. Lorne from the gun range and Jess nodded her head in acknowledgement.

John watched from his spot on the balcony in the control room as Jumper Two lowered into the gate room and went through the event horizon. Followed by Jumper Five with Lt. Ruiz's team on board and Campbell, the new Marine.

oOo

John was in Dr. Weir's office turning in some requisitions he had just signed for his Marines when the gate room klaxons sounded. He and Dr. Weir went into the control room to investigate.

"Report." Stated Dr. Weir coldly. Noticing that it was only 16:03 hours and no one was due back yet.

"Colonel Lorne's IDC ma'am. He is also requesting medical assistance to the jumper bay." Informed the gate control technician.

When John heard 'medical assistance' he left the control room and took the transporter to the jumper bay and awaited the arrival of Jumper Two. Dr. Beckett, a nurse and gurney showed up minutes later. The three waited and watched as Jumper Two landed softly on its pad.

John was rolling towards the jumper as the rear ramp was being lowered. John stayed at the end of the ramp, looking in, he didn't want to be in the way, but he wanted to be inside the jumper at the same time. With Beckett and his nurse inside he couldn't see what was going on. When the gurney rolled out he noticed Allison lay unconscious. Her left leg was splinted and there was a field dressing on her head.

The Colonel didn't say anything as Beckett rolled the gurney away towards the infirmary. Dr. Rhomburg and Jess exited the back of the jumper and followed the gurney. Teyla, Ronon and McKay came out of the jumper next Col. Lorne was last to exit. When the Colonel saw Lorne all rational thought and reasoning escaped him.

"Colonel!" Shouted Sheppard. "What the hell happened out there? I told you to take care of them. They were your responsibility to keep safe. I told you, you had precious cargo. Well! What happened? Answer me!"

Colonel Lorne was taken aback by the sudden demeanor of his Commanding Officers. He had never seen the Colonel so upset before. Lorne opened his mouth and only got out the first word. "Sir…" Before he could finish his thought the Colonel interrupted.

"I asked you a direct question. What the hell happened? Why is Miss Hodges unconscious? What happened to her leg?" Colonel Sheppard shouted again.

Jumper Five had landed and all team members were stopped dead in their tracks at the volume that the Colonel was using. Teyla, Rodney and Ronon were also stunned and couldn't believe what they were seeing and hearing. McKay thought that Halling on the mainland could even hear this.

Colonel Lorne couldn't speak fast enough. He couldn't say a word as the Colonel was still shouting at him. "Go to my office and I will deal with you later. You're Dismissed!" Shouted John as he rolled away from the back of Jumper Two and headed to the infirmary. He hadn't realized nor seen the other eight stunned people in the jumper bay.

Lorne stood frozen in place at the base of the ramp where he received his dressing down from Colonel Sheppard. Currently unable to move.

A gentle hand was placed on his shoulder. "Colonel. I think we should go." Teyla said softly to him.

After a few minutes, Lorne blinked and acknowledged Teyla's gentle touch on his shoulder. He turned and walked out of the jumper bay. Leaving everyone behind.

"What the hell was that all about?' Rodney asked unable to process what just happened. Looking between his team mates hoping for some kind of rational response to his question.

"I do not know. However Dr. Beckett and Dr. Epson should be informed." Teyla remarked. "Ronon, please watch over John. Rodney go tell Dr. Beckett, I will find Dr. Epson and explain."

oOo

Colonel Sheppard arrived at the infirmary to a bustle of bodies. Carson was standing next to Allison taking readings and issuing orders to his staff. He found Dr. Rhomburg and his assistant Jess seated in the waiting area. John rolled into the infirmary and stopped at the end of the exam bed on which Allison lay unconscious.

"Doc is she going to be okay?" Asked Colonel Sheppard in a tone that could be barely heard over the commotion of taking care of a patient.

Carson turned around swiftly, "Colonel you cannot be here. I must ask that you wait outside." He barked.

"I will, I just need to know if she will be okay." John asked again, his hazel eyes looking into blue ones for the answer to his prayer.

"I do not know yet Colonel. Miss Hodges has a nasty bump on her head. As for her leg we will need to x-ray it first. Now please you must wait outside." Carson turned back to his patient.

John looked longingly at Allison before turning and going back out into the mock waiting area. He kept his eyes on the door watching the staff inside the infirmary do their jobs with efficiency. He watched as they rolled Allison away for x-rays and scans and kept watching until she was brought back. Never taking his eyes off the door.

The Colonel never noticed that Ronon was watching him from the hallway.

oOo

When Rodney saw that Allison was being moved to x-ray he felt this was his chance to talk to Carson. Standing in the hallway with Ronon, Rodney tapped his comm and requested that Carson use the secondary entrance and come out into the hall to talk. Carson refused at first, but when Rodney said it was a matter of life and death, Carson complied.

"Okay Rodney, what is so important you are taking me away from my patient." Inquired Carson his patience wearing thin.

"It's Sheppard. He blew up at Lorne for no reason. Honestly Carson, I've never seen Sheppard that angry before. He was yelling…and…he was loud…yelling loudly... his face was red Carson." Rodney tried to explain. He just couldn't find the right words to describe Sheppard's behaviour.

"Rodney the Colonel is fine. I spoke to him a while ago. He was calm, quiet even. I think you are over exaggerating." Carson explained turning to go back into the infirmary and to his patient.

"No Doc he isn't. Sheppard lost it." Stated Ronon walking down the hall to support McKay. Giving Rodney a nod he returned to his spot in the hallway keeping watch over Sheppard.

"Honestly Carson we're telling you the truth." The look in Rodney's eyes showed the Doctor he was genuinely concerned.

"Okay I'll keep an eye on him. Does Dr. Epson know?" Carson asked.

"He will, Teyla went to tell him." Rodney replied. He was worried about the Colonel. When he blew up five-sixths of a solar system the Colonel hadn't been this upset or mad.

Carson went back into the infirmary to find Allison coming out of x-ray. The nurse reported that the scan showed no skull fractures, but a deep contusion on her right temple. Translation: Concussion.

Dr. Gilmore reviewed the x-rays of Allison's left leg and determined it was a bad sprained ankle. An Ace bandage and crutches for a few days and she would be fine.

Carson peered out into the waiting area. The Colonel's eyes peered back at him with concern. Walking to the waiting area Carson came to tell the Colonel and Dr. Rhomburg how his patient was doing. "She will be alright. Miss Hodges has a concussion which you are fairly familiar with Colonel and a severely sprained left ankle. Dr. Gilmore is wrapping it as we speak. The scan showed no skull fractures. We'll need to wake her up every few hours and she'll need to use crutches for a while." Carson saw the relief fall from Dr. Rhomburg's face as well as Jess. The Colonel still looked worried to him. "Have you had your post-mission check?' Carson asked the Doctor and his assistant.

"No. We wanted to wait to see how Miss Hodges was first." Replied the Dr. Rhomburg.

"Alright, now you know, so come with me and we'll get you checked out." Carson remarked and pointed in the direction of the infirmary behind him.

John spoke up, "can I see Miss Hodges Carson?" John's voice was on the quiet side.

"After we get her settled I'll let you see her for a few minutes. And I mean a few minutes Colonel. Why don't you go and get yourself some dinner. It will be a little while longer." Carson explained.

"I'll wait." John said. He turned his gaze back to the doors and to the goings on, on the other side.

Carson ushered the Doctor and his assistant into the infirmary for their post-mission check. Glancing back he saw the Colonel staring into the infirmary, a look of loss on his face.

Allison was settled in the infirmary and as promised, Carson let the Colonel visit for a few minutes. The Colonel was always concerned when someone got hurt, but this was different, more personal Carson thought, only he didn't know why.

Leaving the Colonel alone with Miss Hodges, Carson pulled the curtain and stepped away.

Picking up her left hand John said softly. "Allison it's John. I'm here for you honey. Please wake up." John continued to caress her hand, willing her to wake so he could talk to her and know that she would be alright. Allison had a clean white dressing on her head and her wrapped sprained ankle was propped up on a couple of pillows with an ice bag on top. He thought she looked pale.

John heard the curtain open and quickly laid the small hand he had held back down on the bed.

"Times up Colonel." Carson told him.

"No. I'm not leaving. I'm going to sit here with her." Although John's voice was low, his words spoke volumes. "I promise to be quiet."

"Colonel…" Carson started to argue but the Colonel turned and offered a look that said otherwise.

The Colonel never budged from his position on the left side of the bed. When no one was around he held Allison's hand and spoke softly to her. When the nurses or doctors came in to wake her he stayed silent. Carson brought him dinner since he wouldn't leave. The Colonel nibbled. When it was 22:00 hours Carson insisted that he go to his room to rest and threatened him with Ronon if he didn't go on his own.

Knowing that the battle was lost before it started, especially if Carson called Ronon, John headed to his quarters under duress for much needed sleep.

oOo

John entered his quarters to find Carl waiting for him in the living space. The Colonel always took a shower before bed no matter what the hour of night it was. "Carl I'm going to bed we can skip the shower for tonight. Goodnight." John said as he rolled towards his bedroom door.

"I don't think so Colonel." Carl said sternly. When the Colonel didn't stop to acknowledge his statement, Carl pressed further. "John! Stop we need to talk."

When he heard Carl speak his first name he stopped right in his doorway. You know those times when your parents used your full name you knew you were in trouble. Well that was how John felt right now at hearing Carl use his first name. Like he was a child again about to be disciplined by his father

Carl never called him by his first name. In the eighteen months that Carl had been on Atlantis, not once had he ever called him by his first name. It was always 'Colonel'; no matter how many times John told him it was okay to use his first name when they were in the suite alone. Carl had inferred to use his rank always.

"How's Miss Hodges?" Carl inquired now that the Colonel had stopped. The Colonel still had not turned around to look at Carl. From their two earlier talks Carl encompassed that the Colonel's earlier outburst involved Miss Hodges and some deep feelings he was unaware he had.

"Carson said she will be fine. She has a concussion and a severely sprained ankle. She should be out of the infirmary in a couple of days." Uttered the Colonel moving a few more inches into his room.

"That's good news. What about Colonel Lorne?" Carl said next.

John was puzzled, why would Carl ask about Evan. From what he remembered, Evan wasn't hurt. It was just Allison. "What about Lorne?" John replied turning his wheelchair around and locking eyes with Carl.

"Is Colonel Lorne alright? I understand you dressed him down in the jumper bay in front of everyone." Carl had this stern look on his face that indicated he required an explanation.

At first John didn't remember doing that but then the memory came back. But it wasn't him; it was someone else in a wheelchair doing the yelling, not him. Couldn't be him, he didn't do stuff like that. Sure he would get upset, but he'd never do that to one of his men. Not like that. But it was him who had yelled at Lorne in front of everyone, his own team mates and his fellow Marine's.

John was ashamed at what he had done. Realization dawned. He had sent the man to his office over six hours ago intending to deal with him later. Only he stayed by Allison's bedside to make sure she would be ok. He had to explain. He had to apologize for his earlier actions. He hated himself for letting his emotions get the better of him.

John started for the suite door only to be stopped by Carl. "Get out of my way. I need to talk to Evan." Ground out the Colonel.

"After we talk." Carl stated calmly. The Colonel shook his head no. "Then listen to what I have to say. You need to get your feelings for Miss Hodges under control. Do you know what happened? Do you know how she got hurt?" Carl waited for a response, but found the Colonel shaking his head no again. "I know you know this, but I will say it anyway. Calmly you need to ask Col. Lorne to tell you what happened. Don't interrupt him. He was the senior officer on the mission and he is going to be feeling guilty. From experience you know this to be true. You need to tell Col. Lorne what made you upset and then apologize. I know it will be difficult for you, but it has to be done. If you want I can come with you." Carl made is speech and offered to help. Now it was up to the Colonel.

"I get everything you say. I have to do this on my own. I just hope Evan will forgive me." Carl stepped out of the Colonel's path and let him out the door.

oOo

John arrived at his office. Before entering he saw Evan pacing through the glass door. He had sent him here approaching on seven hours ago. John could only imagine what had been going through his mind all those hours. John swallowed his pride and entered. At the sound of the office door opening Lt. Col. Lorne snapped to attention, eyes front, shoulders back, feet together; the perfect form.

The Colonel rolled to a stop in front of the rigid soldier motioning for him to take a seat. Evan was standing in front of the desk by the two office chairs facing the door. "Evan please sit down. I have a lot of explaining to do." The Colonel offered.

"Sir I prefer to stand." Col. Lorne snapped out a tight lipped response.

"Preference denied. Now take a seat. Please." The Colonel said with authority and then added a plea moving to the side of the desk.

Given a direct order, Col. Lorne sat down in the office chair behind him turning the chair to the left in order to face his Commanding Officer. Lorne sat at attention in the chair. Straight, tall and stiff, eyes focusing on a spot behind the Colonel's head on the wall while waiting for his next order.

"At Ease Colonel." Giving another command Lorne just sat there stiff as a board. "God! Evan please." Begged Sheppard his head hanging down and shaking slightly from side to side. _'Why is he making this so difficult? Guess I deserve it. You can be such a jerk John!'_

Slightly Col. Lorne changed is posture, he was still fairly rigid but not as much as before.

"Evan. It's just you and me in here. I want to apologize for my earlier reaction and actions." John began saying finding it hard to look the man in the face.

"Excuse me Sir. You have nothing to apologize for. You were correct, I was in command and I screwed up. It was my job to see to everyone's safety and I let you down. I am sorry Miss Hodges got hurt. I hope she will be okay. I'll accept any form of punishment you deem appropriate. I clearly acted inappropriately." Col. Lorne stated matter-of-factly.

"There will be no punishment. If I punish you, I would have to punish myself and that just ain't gonna happen." John gave a little grin and tried to read Evan's expression but his Second in Command kept his features stoic. "Miss Hodges, Allison, will be okay Beckett assures me. She received a concussion and sprained her left ankle pretty good. Doc says she'll be in the infirmary for a couple days then on crutches for a week or so, but she will be fine."

"Thank you Sir. Good to know." Col. Lorne replied curtly.

"Evan tell me what happened. I didn't give you much of a chance earlier." John calmly confessed.

"Yes Sir. Miss Hodges and Dr. Rhomburg called it Sir. They had taken all the photographs they needed. Dr. McKay had finished taking his readings about an hour before. We were packing up the equipment. Lt. Ruiz's team and I were stowing the cases in Jumper Five. Ronon and Teyla kept watch. We had all but one case left. Miss Hodges was carrying it to the jumper when she twisted her ankle and fell. The ground was uneven Sir. On the way down she hit her head on the edge of the case she was carrying. I decided to splint her leg to be on the safe side while Lt. Ruiz put a field dressing on her head. We got Miss Hodges on the stretcher and immediately came back to Atlantis. I called for a medical team to meet us in the jumper bay upon landing." Lorne's report was concise and precise.

"Thank you. There was nothing you could have done to prevent what happened. It was not your fault no matter what I said before. I hope you can accept my apology for what took place in the jumper bay. I over reacted." John saw that Colonel Lorne was about to say something and stopped him. "Let me finish." John raised his hand to forestall any comment. "The reason I over reacted was that…Miss Hodges…Allison…she is my ex-wife. I guess I still have feelings for her. Feelings I didn't know I had. Strong feelings and I let them get the better of me in the jumper bay. When I saw her coming out on that gurney unconscious I got angry. I needed a release and you just happen to be it. My mind told me that since you were in command of the mission it was your fault she got injured and I took my anger out on you. I had no right to do that. I'm really sorry Evan. I hope you can forgive me."

"Yes Sir." Lorne said simply.

The Colonel continued to explain how they met, fell in love, and got married. How his profession took him away from her and she said that it changed him. She didn't want him to fly anymore and wanted him to quit and take a safer job. He told Col. Lorne how he thought she couldn't deal with it which led to the Colonel receiving divorce papers in Afghanistan after a mission and not being allowed leave to try a fix it so he had just signed the papers.

After what he did to Lorne in the jumper John told him everything. Bared his soul to the friend seated before him. At least he hoped he was still a friend.

"Look…Carl is the only other person who knows she's my ex-wife. I'd like to keep it that way. At least until I know how Allison feels about things. Carl already gave me the lecture on controlling my emotions. If I step out of line again you have my permission to say so." John trusted Evan not to say anything.

"Yes Sir." Lorne said again.

"It's a good thing Carl found out what happened in the jumper bay or you would still be here. I had blanked everything out. It wasn't until Carl confronted me. Then I remembered. I'm sorry Evan you must be starved by now come on I'll buy you dinner in the mess hall." John tried to make his offer light hearted. He felt terrible at leaving Col. Lorne in his office all evening. John started to wheel himself to the door of his office. "You coming Evan?"

"No Sir. If it's all the same to you I'd like to go to my quarters now." Stated Lorne.

John understood. "That's fine. I didn't mean to push. Goodnight Evan." John said as he rolled out the door of his office and down the hall to the transporter. He understood it would take time to rebuild what took him only minutes to destroy.

As John rolled down the hall to his quarters he tapped his comm and had the mess hall fix a tray of food to be delivered to Col. Lorne's quarters in ten minutes. Entering his own quarters Carl was still waiting up for him. John spoke first.

"I'm fine. Lorne's fine. Eventually we will both be fine. I stayed calm. I apologized. I explained everything. I apologized again. I sent food to Lorne's quarters. Did I forget anything?" John rattled off.

"No." Carl said quickly. "Are you ready for your shower?"

"It's late. Let's do that in the morning say six?" John said heading to his room.

"See you at six then." Carl followed the Colonel into his room and helped him undress and get ready for bed like he did every night, then he retreated to his own room wishing the Colonel a 'Goodnight'.

oOo

Carl was up at six and helped the Colonel shower. Their day started out like any other day. The Colonel brought coffee to Dr. Weir's office and they worked for an hour. Col. Caldwell had managed to hear through the Atlantis grapevine and offered his own take on the situation. The Colonel accepted his words and the looks on Elizabeth's face with humility.

Although breakfast was not pleasant. He deserved everything that was said and didn't try to deny it. McKay really let him have it, while Teyla tried to play peacemaker. Ronon sat on the side lines as a neutral party.

McKay informed the Colonel that he tried to get Lorne out of his office just long enough to have dinner, but he wouldn't go, nor would he allow anything to be brought to him. Spouting regulations of disobeying a direct order given by a superior officer. McKay started to bash the Air Force and that's when the Colonel put an end to McKay's tirade.

Up to that point he accepted his friend's insights into his behaviour and tried to tell them he would do his best not to let anything like that happen again. He thanked them for caring before he left the table.

The Colonel made a quick trip to the infirmary to check on Allison before going to his office to start on today's work. He found her sleeping peacefully and the nurse on duty said she had a good night. Satisfied with that he left to tackle the daily grind which he had come to love.

oOo

Nurse Colleen was taking Allison's vitals and jotting them down on her chart when she woke late morning. "Good Morning Miss Hodges, how do you feel? I'm Colleen."

Allison focused on the sound and the blurry figure before eventually the nurse came into focus. "My head hurts a little." Allison whispered, trying to raise her hand to her head. Colleen held it down and explained she had a concussion but would be alright.

"You've had a few visitors, but since you were sleeping I'll tell you about them. Okay?" Colleen offered. Receiving a small nod from Allison she began. "Miss Weist stopped by. She brought you those flowers over there," pointing to the cabinet that set between the infirmary beds. "Dr. Rhomburg checked in after breakfast. He wanted me to tell you your equipment is safe back in lab 5."

"That's good." Allison said groggily.

While Colleen talked she was changing out the sheets and Allison's gown. Talking to her patients always made the task go fast and the patient never had time to think about what was happening.

"Nellie, the second shift nurse told Mary who works the night shift, who told me this morning that the Colonel was really worried about you. I think he has taken a special liking to you, if you know what I mean." Colleen winked and offered a bright smile. "He wouldn't leave your side yesterday until Dr. Beckett threatened him with bodily harm. Although I know Dr. Beckett and he wouldn't hurt a flea. There, we're all done. Now rest and I'll check on you a little later." Colleen patted her shoulder and as an afterthought said, "by the way, the Colonel was here this morning too."

Allison offered a smile in return to the nice nurse but all she really wanted to do right now was sleep. Her eyes were heavy and her head and foot thumped in unison. As she fell back to sleep her sub-conscious mind thought about what the nurse told her about John. She vaguely remembered hearing someone whisper her name and she had felt the presence of someone holding her hand stroking it.

When she woke again, she would have to ask if what she thought she remembered was real or just something she wished had happened.

oOo

John rolled into the infirmary with a tray of food on his lap. He had called Carson and asked if he could bring Allison her lunch since he was coming to visit her anyway, Carson agreed. As he made his way over to the curtained off area he cleared his throat, "are you decent?" before pushing his way through.

A muffled 'yes' came his direction. John pushed the curtain aside, opening it up to a small portion of the infirmary and wheeled closer. Setting the tray of food on the bedside roll-away table he reached for the bed control to raise the head of the bed before positioning the table over the bed.

"That's an awful lot of food. I hope Dr. Beckett doesn't expect me to eat all that." Allison stated her eyes were growing big at the thought.

"Actually, the sandwich, fruit and water are mine. You only get the broth and crackers. Sorry. Doctors orders." John quipped reaching up to take his sandwich off the plate. "I thought I would eat lunch with you if you didn't mind the company."

Allison gave that a thought and decided the company would be nice. She smiled and nodded her acceptance, picked up her spoon and took a taste of the broth.

"How do you feel?" John asked digging into his sandwich as well.

"Head hurts a little and my ankle hurts a lot." Allison explained nibbling on a cracker before taking another spoonful of broth.

"I'll get Carson!" John exclaimed setting his sandwich down on the table he started backing up when Allison stopped him.

"John stop! I'm okay. Don't." Allison stated then remembered she should have said 'Colonel'.

John stopped and looked back at Allison undecided whether to ignore her request and get Carson anyway. She was hurting. He didn't want her to hurt. "But you're hurting. I don't want you to hurt."

Allison noticed that he said 'I' instead of saying 'we' or 'you shouldn't have'. He was being protective. "Colonel." She remembered to say this time. "Is there something going on that I should know about? The nurse told me that you had to be threatened last night. Is this true?"

"Yeah I guess so." John looked down at his hands trying to decide if running was a good idea right now. He felt exposed. He was in the middle of the infirmary. This was not where he imagined this conversation taking place. "Look I guess I still…"

"Good Afternoon luv. How are we feeling? You need to eat." Carson strode in. He snatched up the chart off the end of the bed and made his way to her bed side.

"Carson, Miss Hodges said that her ankle really hurts. Can't you do something?" The Colonel injected before Allison could answer the Doctor's questions. Looking at Carson with worried eyes all he wanted was for Carson to take away her pain.

"Hurts does it. Well lets have a look see, shall we." Carson moved to the end of the bed and took a look at her ankle.

The Colonel was sort of in the way, so he backed out letting Carson in. He watched as Carson checked over the ankle and winced when Allison jerked at his touch. He backed out further beyond the curtain and left without saying another word. John was confused at what he was feeling and Carl told him he needed to get his emotions in check. _'Why are you making yourself crazy John?'_

Dr. Beckett finished his exam of his patient. He loosened the Ace bandage and propped her ankle back up on the pillows. He instructed one of his nurses to get a bag of ice to help with the swelling and gave her a couple of Tylenol. When he finished he realized that the Colonel had left and made a mental note to check on him later or have Carl do it since they seem to have a closer relationship.

oOo

Three days later Allison was discharged from the infirmary, issued her very own torture sticks and was told to take it easy. The Colonel had not been back to see her since that day he brought her lunch. The Colonel wrapped himself in his work. The Daedalus left and Lt. Col. Lorne had been taking care of the new Marines. Scheduling, training and placing them on off-world teams. He completed his reports timely and turned them into Dr. Weir before she asked. He talked and planned with the scientists after reading their pre-mission requests then scheduled their off-world missions.

The Colonel barely saw his friends. He spaced his Katas lessons with Teyla and he stopped going for runs with Ronon. The Colonel could be found in his office from 08:30 to well after 18:30 hours. Rodney had asked for his help in the lab with calculations, but the Colonel refused. John wasn't eating right or taking care of himself. Carson and Carl both tried talking to him but he clammed up.

John holed up in his quarters if it was off work hours. The only time you could get him to leave was during an emergency. He kept mostly to his room or the balcony. Sometimes he would read, other times he just stared off into oblivion.

Tonight he was sitting up in bed reading War and Peace. He had about five or six pillows behind him and his legs splayed out in front of him. The door to the suite chimed. Carl knew he didn't want to see anyone or be disturbed. John was sure Carl would politely send them away. McKay had tried several times with no success. John had to give McKay credit, he was persistent.

"Hello John. Or is it Colonel?"

John looked up from his book, in the direction from where the sweet voice he recognized had came from. Standing in his doorway was Allison on crutches.

"May I come in?"

John had yet to find his voice so he nodded.

Allison hobbled her way into his room. She saw the chair on the far side of the bed and the wheelchair that was just a few feet in front of her. "Do you mind if I sit here?" Allison gestured to the wheelchair.

"No." John managed to squeak out.

Allison sat down in the wheelchair and laid her crutches on the floor on her left side. "Thanks. These things are murder." She huffed.

"I know. Why are you here Allison?" John asked.

"Well that's easy. Because you're here. You haven't been by to see me. You've ignored every request I've made to come to the infirmary so I figured if 'Mohammad won't go to the mountain, then the mountain will have to go to Mohammad'." Allison said.

"I've been busy." John lied.

"Too busy to talk to your ex-wife." Allison asked.

"What do you want from me Allison? Because I don't know anymore. I don't know if this can work out here with you here and me here." John blurted out. He had spent the last three and a half days trying to work out his feelings, what he wanted. Whether or not he could do his job with her here. He didn't want to leave, and he wouldn't force Allison to go. It was all confusing.

"Who said I wanted anything? I just thought it would be nice to talk." She replied.

John just stared at her, his emotions running a marathon and his stomach tightened into knots. He wasn't good at the talking thing anymore not since his divorce. Once he signed those papers his heart turned cold to anyone who wanted to get close. He kept them away, put up walls and barriers to keep from being hurt again.

"I told you about my life. I think it only fair that you tell me about yours." Allison spoke up. The quietness between them was too much.

"I'm not good at this talking thing." John replied.

"Since when? You always talked to me. We shared our good days and bad days, fears, hopes, everything." She said.

"Since the day I signed the divorce papers." John told her taking a deep breath.

"So your acting like this is my fault?" Allison asked.

"You left me remember. I was serving my country, doing my duty and you left me. All I got were papers." John hissed he didn't mean for it to come out like that.

Allison understood why John was mad. It was a rotten thing to do while someone was thousands of miles away and couldn't do much about anything. The topic of conversation was not going where she had hoped it would go. Allison looked around the room noticing the huge hydraulic arm and strap she changed the subject. Hopefully John would talk about his accident.

"What is this?" Allison pointed to the lift.

"It's a hydraulic lift. Allows me to get in and out of my wheelchair and bed without anyone's assistance. There's another one in the bathroom that helps me with showering." John explained.

"How long?" Allison asked, hoping he got what she was referring too.

"Almost eighteen months." John replied.

"How did it happen if you don't mind me asking?" Allison said softly. She knew she was treading in dangerous territory.

"On a mission." John had already told her that the first time she came to his quarters.

Allison was about to ask another question when John started talking about the mission to the Rain Forest planet and how, by him falling down a ravine, they discovered the cave with the three ZPM's.

He continued to tell her about Carl and how he helped him get past what he couldn't do and focused on what he could do. And how he still is helping him everyday, especially with his emotions and feelings.

"You know how I got started in the Stargate program, how did you?" Allison asked since he had opened up some, maybe he could tell her his story.

"I sat in a chair." John stated. When she smiled, he did too and he told her his story.

From the time he signed the divorce papers he had taken all the dangerous missions he could. He told her about being a POW and how he was mistreated and spent a year learning to walk again after his leg was so badly damaged. His only goal was to fly again and he held onto that goal and endured.

He told Allison how his Commanding Officer said he disobeyed orders retrieving two down pilots in enemy territory which earned him a court martial. Being found guilty he was sent to Antarctica which he actually loved. He got to keep flying and that was most important.

He spoke of General O'Neill and how he managed to dodge an Ancient drone while piloting him to the outpost. The General gave him clearance and told him not to touch anything. But when he heard Carson talk about shutting down the drone he couldn't resist. Then he found himself sitting in a chair, was told he had a special gene and asked to come with the expedition to be a 'light switch' for all things Ancient.

John told Allison how he woke up the Wraith early and had to shoot the Military leader of the expedition which landed him in Command by default since he was the next highest ranking officer at the time. A job he didn't want from the start, but had grown to love and cherish now. He talked about loosing people, friends and how Atlantis was his home now.

"It's late Allison. I think you should go." John spoke up. It was 23:23 hours they had been talking non-stop for the better part of four hours.

"I'd like to see you again. Maybe talk some more." Allison said as she gathered up the crutches and prepared to stand.

"Okay." John said quickly. "Allison…there's only two people who know you and I were…I kind of like to keep it that way."

"Okay _Colonel_. I can live with that." Allison said smiling and hobbled out of his room.

John heard the suite's door open and close.


	3. Chapter 3 Engagement

Chapter 3 – Engagement

Colonel Sheppard was coming out of his office. He was headed for the mess hall for lunch. As he approached the mess hall he could see a familiar figure standing by the doors apparently deciding to enter or not to enter. Stealthily he came up along side, "would you like to join me for lunch?" he asked the party.

Allison jumped placing more weight on her injured ankle than she intended. "Colonel! You startled me."

"I guessed that. You still didn't answer my question. Would you join me for lunch?" The Colonel gave his best grin while he waited for an answer.

"Are you sure it will be okay. I mean you being who you are, being seen with me, who I am." Allison stammered out.

"It's just lunch." John looked around up and down the hallway to see if anyone was near before he finished his thought. "You're not planning on throwing me to the floor and ravishing me in the middle of the mess hall are you?"

"No. At least not yet anyway." Allison gave the Colonel an evil smile.

"So, lets eat. I'm hungry." John rolled forward and the mess hall doors opened up. He allowed Allison to enter first as she was still using crutches.

The pair got in line. "Pick what you want and I'll take it to the table for you." John suggested knowing that she wouldn't be able to carry a tray and use her crutches.

Allison selected her food and the Colonel took her tray to the table then went back and selected his own lunch and joined her. They casually talked about Atlantis, her photographs, his job and anything else in general. They were half way through their meal when they were joined by Ronon. The Satedan took his seat next to the Colonel and started eating nodding politely to Allison.

"You up for running in the morning?" Asked Ronon. He had missed the Colonel's company the past few days.

"Yup." The Colonel answered and went back to eating. He was finally out of his funk mood after talking to Allison until almost midnight last night. He woke this morning feeling as if a heavy weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

"Excuse me, but what do you mean by running?" Allison queried. _'How does a man in a wheelchair run?'_ She thought.

The Colonel spoke up. "You know…run…'a pace faster than a walk or to move swiftly by foot'. Run." The Colonel gave the shortened definition. "Ronon and I run anywhere from eight to ten miles. We go at 05:00 when the halls are quiet." The Colonel explained or at least he thought he did.

"How? I mean…" Allison looked puzzled she couldn't comprehend seeing John run since he was in a wheelchair.

John turned to Ronon, "Ronon, do you mind if I invite Miss Hodges to run with us in the morning?" John wanted to get his permission first. If memory served, Allison was a pretty good runner herself. When they were married they would run along the boardwalk that was a short walk from their apartment in California. But since she had an injured ankle she would have to run a little different.

"She'll have to keep up." Ronon grunted, he knew what the Colonel had in mind for her.

Allison watched the exchange between the Colonel and Ronon. She couldn't run, she was using crutches. "Guys…I can't run…I'm using crutches…see." Allison pointed to the pair of sticks leaning up against the lunch table.

Ronon and John exchanged the look. "You let me worry about that. You just meet us at 05:00 hours on Sub-Level 3 East Corridor." John used his commander's voice leaving nothing open for discussion.

oOo

John and Allison both had work to do which kept them busy all afternoon. They met for dinner in the mess hall along with the 'gang'. John introduced Allison to Elizabeth and the two women hit it off. When John and Allison were alone, Allison asked if she could come to his quarters so they could talk some more. John wanted nothing more than to say yes, but tonight was Carl's night to bend and shape him. John let her down in a thoughtful way and reminded her of her early morning run.

John got dressed his in shorts and waited for Carl to start his exercise session. Carl brought out the exam bed to stretch the Colonels' leg muscles to start the nights exercise regime. Stretching opened the opportunity for the two men to talk. After that, Carl put the bed away and brought out the mat. It was going to be a long grueling evening for one of them. John started with pull-ups. Carl hung the bar across the bedroom entry doorway while the Colonel got into position. Carl had Specialist Spanelli install two hooks equal-distant from the floor that the metal rod attached to at opposite sides of the door frame. Once his wheelchair was underneath the bar the Colonel reached up and grabbed it pulling his body out of the chair. Carl moved the chair back a foot or two out of the way and the Colonel started his count to fifty pull-ups.

After fifty pull-ups the Colonel hit the mat for push-ups and sit-ups. The Colonel's t-shirt was soaked by now with sweat. The Colonel lay breathing hard.

The Colonel had a lot to say about Allison and Col. Lorne. Regardless of the fact that Col. Lorne accepted his apology, the two were struggling to get the rhythm back of working together and of being friends. As for Allison he wanted to talk more with her, share more with her. He enjoyed their brief conversations at lunch and at dinner. He forgot how easy it was to talk to her.

John reminded himself about his run at 05:00 in the morning. "Carl I need you to borrow Beckett's wheelchair…you know the one I used. I invited Allison to go running with Ronon and me in the morning. Allison will need the wheelchair and if you're up to it, maybe you could join us in case Allison can't keep up." John hoped that Carl would help him out, show Allison what she can do, just like he did for him all those many months ago.

"Of course Colonel." Carl said.

The two talked more. Then the Colonel took his shower, dressed and went to bed.

oOo

Just before five am on Sub-Level 3 East Corridor Allison stood by the wall in the darkened hallway. She was early. The transporter swished open beside her and John rolled out followed by Carl who was pushing an empty wheelchair. Ronon walked out of the dark shadow that casts itself in the hallway where he had been standing watching.

The moment John exited the transporter the lights started to brighten and Allison wondered if they were on a timer.

"Allison this is for you." John pointed to the wheelchair. "Sit down and leave your crutches here." John instructed. "If you can't keep up, Carl here will help you back." He added.

"Jo…Colonel, I don't understand." Allison quipped. Holding herself up with crutches against the smooth wall.

"Watch me. I'll show you." John started moving down the hallway, going faster and faster when he was about fifty yards away, he stopped and came back. "See it's easy…well it is in this chair anyway you might have a little problem but all the same are you ready?"

Allison gave a tentative nod and lowered herself into the wheelchair. Carl took the crutches and leaned them against the wall. Allison started wheeling the wheelchair down the hallway. John paced her for a while until she got the hang of if. Carl stayed a pace behind Allison while Ronon could no longer hold this slow pace took off running. John gave a wave to Allison and took off after Ronon catching up with him in seconds. The two men did their five miles out turned and headed back.

Allison managed to make it to the first bend in the hallway before running out energy. Carl stopped and helped her back to the transporter while they waited for the Colonel and Ronon to come back.

As the two made there way down the hall Allison asked Carl about the Colonel. "Does he do this every morning?"

"No not every morning, but most." Carl replied. He was pushing the wheelchair for Allison.

"Why."

"It's part of his physical therapy. The Colonel has to stay healthy, eat right and exercise. Running keeps his oxygen and blood circulating throughout his body which has prevented blood clots from forming and the exercises we do every other night stretches his leg muscles and helps prevent clots as well. This activity was something that the Colonel loved to do before he had his accident. He was a runner. When he lost the use of his legs he thought he had to give it up. I just showed him a new way of running and it works the same. He enjoys the competition with Ronon. It clears his mind. At first he only did two miles out and back, now he and Ronon do five miles out and back. And looking at my watch they should be coming shortly." Carl explained.

Allison and Carl stayed by the transporter. It wasn't more than twenty minutes and they heard the rumble of pounding feet on the hallway floor. Ronon and John were side by side coming down the hallway towards them.

When they came to a stop John reached for his water bottle and handed one to Ronon. John carried two water bottles since the runner never like to carry one. Carl insisted it was important to drink plenty of fluids after a workout. The two men downed the water in no time.

Panting a little John said, "sorry for leaving you behind. I know that chair doesn't handle corners like this one does. How was your first run?"

"I can't believe you run ten miles…it's amazing." Allison said.

"Yeah…well…it is amazing and feels good. Shall we go?" John was ready for his shower he really worked up a sweat keeping up with Ronon after letting him get a head start.

Allison got out of the chair and took back her crutches, Carl folded the wheelchair so that all four of them would fit in the transporter. Allison headed to her quarters as did Ronon and Carl and John headed back to theirs.

Allison got one more piece of the puzzle she was calling 'John'. Little by little John was letting down his guard around her. She noticed that he had changed for the better since their marriage. He seemed to be more even tempered, understanding and settled. Allison didn't know if it was the paralysis that caused some of this or that he finally found a home and family here on Atlantis. Anyone who could put up with Dr. McKay was a saint in her book and she had only been on Atlantis shy of two weeks.

oOo

As the weeks progressed John and Allison found themselves having breakfast, lunch and dinner together unless Allison was on a mission. They stayed up talking several nights getting to know one another all over again, usually in his quarters. Never in public. They were seen laughing and carrying on in the halls of Atlantis like two love-sick teenagers. Allison joined him for runs once her ankle had healed and Dr. Beckett had given his blessing.

Allison was happy and so was John. Life on Atlantis couldn't get any better. John's friends settled to the background and they let the Colonel court Allison, at least that's what it seemed like he was doing. Although John denied it. In the beginning it had been only Carl and Evan who knew they used to be married but during one morning run with Ronon, since Allison was off-world, Ronon pointedly asked if Allison was the ex-wife he spoke of before. Ronon had good intuition. It hadn't failed him this time either. Ronon had caught on to the many slip-ups each of them made and the knowledge they had of one another was too obvious to miss. It hadn't taken him long to figure it out but he kept it to himself. John figured his friends suspected but so far no one said anything to him or to Allison.

John explained to Allison about the ATA gene and his connection to Atlantis. John took Allison for a ride in Jumper One around the planet and out into space. He wanted her to experience his love for flying and hope she understood why all those years ago he couldn't give up his job for her. Allison had brought her camera along and took several pictures of Atlantis from above as well as the planet when they were in the dark cold blue of space. They flew over the Athosian settlement on the mainland. John showed Allison the sweet breakers he surfed. Allison's look on her face when he told her he still surfed was one of disbelief. When they got back to Atlantis he showed her his surfboard and told her to ask around if she didn't believe him.

John even took Jumper One under water and showed Allison the marine life that was in the waters around Atlantis. He spotted a coral reef and McKay's friend 'Sam', piloting the jumper close enough for Allison to get a good look and take some awesome pictures. Allison told John that her camera worked best in space, but could take decent photos underwater.

He explained that Dr. Zelenka was still working on a way for him to skateboard but he hadn't put much success in that plan.

The Colonel's relationship with his Second in Command grew, the void between them closing ever so slowly. Evan was taking it day to day as was the Colonel. Their working relationship was much better off than their personal one. Both men were military and nothing stood in the way of that.

Life was looking better for John with each passing minute.

John managed to schedule two jumpers one Sunday and as he rounded up his friends they piled into the two jumpers and headed for P3S-925. With four sets of skis and two snowboards there was plenty to keep everyone happy for a few hours. Ronon did quiet well on the Earth snowboards. Allison took a shot at the skis and with Carl's guidance she made it down the slope in one piece. Lt. Connifer piloted the jumper back and forth shuttling skiers to the top of the slope.

John managed to drag Elizabeth off-world this time. Elizabeth had skied before and she and Teyla slalomed down the slope with ease. Carl tried the snowboard, but found he preferred skis. Rodney and Carson kept the Colonel company at the bottom of the slope. They set up camp and had hot chocolate and s'mores again. They were waiting to watch Elizabeth, Teyla, Allison, Ronon and Carl come down.

"Colonel you and Miss Hodges seem quiet smitten with each other." Remarked the Scotsman.

John choked on his hot chocolate as the words rang out. "What…what are you talking about, we're just friends." John snorted.

"If you say so." Carson countered with a twinkle in his eye and holding back a smile.

"I say so." John said matter-of-factly.

"Who do you think you're kidding? Not us." Snarked Rodney. "You two act like sick love birds. Honestly, it's pretty disgusting if you ask me. You should consider getting a room." Rodney shuddered at the thought.

"Are we that bad in public?" John asked not really wanting to know the answer.

"YES!" Came a chorus of voices. John hadn't noticed that Teyla and Elizabeth had made it all the way down, nor had he noticed Ronon. Along with Rodney and Carson his five friends were ganging up on him. Even Lt. Connifer agreed.

"John we're happy for you." Elizabeth began saying. "You deserve happiness. Frankly, I don't think I've ever seen you so focused and relaxed before. Allison is good for you. We all see that. You're not letting your work suffer, in fact it's only improved. And if I can say, I think your health has improved as well." Elizabeth finished saying while picking up a cup of hot chocolate to warm her fingers.

"Aye…I'll second that statement. Your last check up proves it." Carson added.

As Carson finished his statement, Allison and Carl showed up. Everyone looked at Allison, then back to John. Allison was beginning to worry.

"Alli can I talk to you for a moment over here?" John asked. "Guys…mind giving us a minute alone?" He added it was much easier for his friends to leave than it was for him.

"Oh…sure. Take all the time you need lad." Carson quickly said getting up.

"We'll just be over here if you need us." Stated Rodney moving away from the warm campfire.

"Right over here…" Pointed Elizabeth and walked towards the group gathering a few feet away.

"Colonel, what's going on?" Allison asked afraid something bad had happened.

Taking her hand and looking into her eyes he spoke, "it's alright, you can call me John. It appears we're not as discrete as we thought. Seems all of Atlantis knows about you and me…well that I like you. Like you a lot, you might even use the word love."

"I see. And you…?" Allison stopped mid way through her thought. Realizing John had said the word 'love'.

"Yeah I do. Do you think we can try it again? It's different this time." John asked as he looked down at his legs his heart was pounding waiting for her answer.

"I know. But I'd like to try…really try this time." She responded.

John smiled and let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "They're my friends, yours too now, if it's okay with you, I'd like to tell them."

Allison nodded her approval and John called everyone back over to the fire.

"It's about time. Could you take any longer? It was cold over there." Rodney spouted moving as close to the fire as possible to warm back up. Receiving a slap on his shoulder from Elizabeth and looks from everyone else.

John clung to Allison's hand and smiled as his friends gathered around. "Everyone…I would like you to meet Allison Hodges, my ex-wife."

That was not what they were expecting to hear. To say they were stunned would be an understatement. Carl and Ronon didn't react to the news but as for Elizabeth, Teyla, Rodney and Carson their mouths hung open. They knew so little about John Sheppard, he never talked about his life prior to Atlantis. Elizabeth only knew what was in his personnel file and Teyla, Rodney and Carson only knew what little he had mentioned over the years which wasn't much.

"Ex-wife! You were married?" Exclaimed Rodney aloud. "We've been best friends for almost five years and you are just now getting around to telling me you've been married before. I thought best friends told everything to each other. I know I have. Five years Sheppard and you never said a thing."

"Yes McKay I was married once." John interrupted Rodney's tirade. "The subject just never came up." John shrugged his shoulders and half-grinned.

"That's like saying you were Special Forces." Rodney added. When he didn't get the desired response he looked deeply at the Colonel. The Colonel tried to hide the revelation but was not succeeding very well. "Oh my God…you _were_ Special Forces weren't you?"

"I really can't say McKay." John stated firmly hoping to put an end to that topic. "Who wants a s'more?"

For the next two hours Allison was bombarded with questions about their Military Officer. John sat squeamish as Allison told them about him in his younger days. He tried to change the subject many times without success. John was caught blushing a few times and tried to get even with tales about Allison. But no matter, the conversation always came back around to be about John.

Everyone enjoyed the hot chocolate and s'mores and learning about John. As the sun started to set behind the tallest peak they called it a day and packed up.

The two jumpers landed in the jumper bay. Lt. Connifer, Ronon, Rodney and Carson stowed the gear back in his old room. John mentally told Atlantis to let them in.

John walked Allison to her quarters or in his case, rolled. "You know I never really stopped." John said outside her door.

"Stopped what?" Puzzled at his statement.

"Loving you." John whispered while taking her hand and pulling her downs towards him. He gave her the most softest, gentlest of kisses.

All his feelings, memories and days of thinking finally came down to the fact that he still loved Allison. Carl had asked him what he wanted and he didn't know until now. He wanted Allison. On the snow planet she said she would like to try again and really try this time to make it work out between them.

oOo

The grapevine in Atlantis was already buzzing with the news that Allison Hodges was the Colonel's ex-wife by the time he got coffee at 07:00. The mess hall staff smiled while Rose Highland came out and pinched his cheeks like she was his Aunt. The Aunt you stayed away from at holidays when you were a child.

The Colonel received several looks from the expedition members and Marines who had already started eating their breakfast. The Colonel shrugged it off and went about getting coffee for him and Elizabeth.

When he reached Elizabeth's office she didn't want to discuss work; her interests were in John and Allison and their future plans. John put a stop to it right then and there. As far as he was concerned they were 'dating' for a lack of a better word. John didn't know if there was a future for them again. All he knew was that he was comfortable talking to her. They had a lot in common. Liked some of the same things. They had yet to discuss anything more then past friends, experiences, their jobs. And he's only held her hand three times and kissed her once.

By the time he left Weir's office and headed for the mess hall for breakfast she had them married with two kids. It was more than John had bargained for when he told his friends she was his ex.

Allison sat on his left and slowly his friends, they would be her friends now too, joined them. McKay tried not to stare at the couple. In a way he was hurt that the Colonel hadn't confided in him that he had been married. Ronon ate and nodded his acceptance without words. Teyla was glad to see John happy and Carson wondered if he would be paid a visit from John inquiring about sex. When he had his accident they skipped that part.

After breakfast John went to his office and worked, met Allison and the gang for lunch, went back to his office and worked, met Allison and the gang for dinner. In the evenings in between exercise sessions with Carl, he did spar with Teyla and Ronon. Allison came to watch him a few times, then Ronon talked her into trying it as well. Ronon made a quick comment, something about 'spunk'.

John and Allison talked and talked and talked. They talked a lot whenever they could.

They talked on the southern balcony; one of John's favorite places. John took Allison to Jumper One, his baby and they talked some more. John had many places around Atlantis that he had found over the years that were special in their own way and he took Allison to all of them at least once. They talked on the east pier, north pier, south pier, west pier and any pier in between. The two talked in the gym, talked after running, and talked after the movie in the rec room.

This routine went on for months, with the occasional interruptions by the Wraith, Genii or any other number of enemies, the expedition had picked up in the past five years. Some missions had gone wrong and John took each one to heart. Marines were killed and John felt each one deeply. Allison was there and helped him through the rough spots.

Good things happened too, Atlantis made new trade alliances and allies against the Wraith. The Daedalus had come and gone several times in the past few months and while Col. Caldwell was here he checked a few more of Michael's known planets for any activity.

The Galaxy was just too quiet for the Colonel's liking. He could feel something brewing and it wasn't going to be good.

oOo

"Hey Carson you got a few minutes?" The Colonel asked as he knocked on the Docs office door.

Carson looked up from his laptop, "of course Colonel. Come in, what can I do for you today?" Replied the Scottish doctor.

The Colonel rolled in and managed to get the office door shut behind him. Now that he was here he was finding it difficult to ask. John had his head tilted down, eyes on his hand that were toying with a stray string from his t-shirt. "Allison wants…Allison and I have been seeing a lot of each other…but you already know that….she wants to…we want to…but I…"

"Son it's alright." Carson interrupted John. "I've been wondering when you'd come to see me. Twenty-three months ago we really didn't talk about this so I've been expecting it for some time now." Carson explained with a smile on his face.

Relieved, John looked up, "really?"

"Yes really. So what exactly do you want to know?" Carson opened the door for the Colonel to explain what he and Allison wanted before bombarding him with a lot of details.

"Can Alli and I have sex Doc?" John blurted out, then lowered his eyes to floor in front of him embarrassed to ask such a question.

"That depends on your definition of sex…" Carson started out saying, then he went on to explain what the Colonel could do.

Carson explained to John that with his injury he would not be able to have intercourse. The damage to his spinal cord was too severe. If he and Allison choose, they could have children by means of artificial insemination and he would be glad to perform the procedure. John told him they were not at that point yet. So Carson offered him alternatives that are just as gratifying and advised him of the not so pleasant aspects of engaging in a romantic relationship.

He explained to John that he might want to become more of the giver of pleasure rather than focusing so much on his own gratification. Like touching or kissing, or even cuddling together. Carson suggested they start with kissing but not to limit it to each other's lips. He said the face, the ears, the neck, the shoulders, and back can be highly sensitive. John knew all this; he and Alli had great sex when they were married. It was his back that was broken, not his brain, but he didn't want to interrupt Carson with such trivial thoughts.

Carson told John to try kissing the palms of her hands, inside the elbow, or behind the knee or the slow exploration of her body. Carson told him there were thousands of nerve endings in places like these that light up when kissed or touched. He even suggested that John might like to have his nipples licked. John was beginning to think Carson was a Scottish Dr. Ruth Westheimer.

Carson told him to take his time and not rush things. He needed to understand how his body reacted to these simple pleasures before working his way up to something more. Carson told him he needed to have realistic expectations for what he and Allison wanted, that was key.

Carson explained to the Colonel the tough part would be explaining this all to Allison. Explaining about catheters, bowels, his level of sensation which was nothing, and other private details. Carson stressed the need to be open and honest with her if he really loved her. And if they were serious at some point he would have to explain what type of help he would need when using the bathroom or dressing.

Lastly Carson explained the not so pleasant aspects, although he would not be able to have intercourse, there could be brief spasms of urination or movement of the bowels from such pleasures. Carson advised he would need to empty his bladder and make sure he didn't drink excessively before love making and to keep on a regular bowel management program like he is now. Taking these precautions ahead of time would limit embarrassment later, but there was no guarantee it wouldn't happen.

The information was clinical and Carson offered it as such, but also as a friend and his doctor. John felt like he was having his first sex talk with his dad when he was thirteen. John hadn't realized that what he thought was a simple yes or no question could be so complicated. John had a lot more to think about and a lot more to talk about with Allison.

oOo

When Allison met John in his quarters after dinner she asked right away if he had talked to Dr. Beckett. It was one topic of conversation that they had had several times and John kept putting it off. All afternoon John thought about what the Doctor said and the pros and cons. Pro: he loved Allison. Con: he was paralyzed. Pro: Allison didn't seem to mind the wheelchair. Con: he was Military Commander. Pro: they were good together; had fun together. Con: he shared his quarters with Carl. Pro: he wanted Allison back. Con: what if Allison couldn't handle it and left no matter what she said on the planet. This went on and on all afternoon, back and forth, every pro, every con, back and forth in his mind. Needless to say John didn't get any work done.

Carson said to be honest and open. The two settled in the living space and John started talking. He explained he wouldn't be able to have intercourse and what he could offer in exchange. Allison said she would take anything she could get as long as they were together. When John heard that it was music to his ears. But before they did any 'cuddling', John told her the rest so she knew what she was getting into from the star. If she didn't think she could handle it, it would be better to know now and stop before anything got started, then later when one or both of them could get hurt.

So for tonight it was all talking, hand holding and a few kisses. John wanted Alli to think about what he said and sleep on it before they moved on. At 22:00 hours John said goodnight and Allison headed back to her quarters.

Carl came out of his room when requested to help with the Colonel's shower and the two men talked for another hour before turning in.

oOo

BEEP BEEP BEEP

BEEP BEEP BEEP

"What is that?" Murmured a sleepy eyed Allison who was snuggled up nice and warm in John's strong arms. They hadn't been asleep for very long.

BEEP BEEP BEEP

John didn't want to move. He knew the alarm on his watch would quit soon enough. He had meant to turn it off but had forgotten. He lay on his left side, arms wrapped around Allison, his chin snuggled into her neck, her body close to his. It was pure heaven and he didn't want to have to roll over and find a new position. He liked this place right where he was.

"Shhh…go back to sleep it's nothing." John whispered in her ear.

The pair slept the whole night like that; at least they did once they actually fell asleep. Before hand it was full of cuddling, kissing and touching which neither one wanted to stop, but sleep tugged at them and won out.

The alarm on his watch sounded two more times throughout the night and he would murmur for Allison to go back to sleep and ignore it. John knew he was to find a new position at least three times a night to avoid pressure sores but that would be unfair to Allison so he just ignored the alarm and continued to hold her and sleep.

oOo

After the first few weeks John decided that Allison should just move in. It was silly for her to spend the night, and then in the morning go back to her quarters to shower and dress. Allison had stayed with him every night, curled up in his embrace, and ignoring the beep beep beep of his watch alarm. John kept forgetting to turn if off.

John had checked out the other rooms on his level and found a suitable closet and dresser for Allison's things. He had a couple of his Marines move the closet and dresser from the room down the hall into his quarters. John's room was large enough to accommodate the extra furniture.

The dresser and closet took the up the space at the foot of the bed where John and Carl would have put the exercise mat or exam bed when he exercised. There was still plenty of room for his wheelchair to get between the bed and dresser to get to the balcony door. So now when he exercised, the mat was just sprawled out on the floor between his bed and his closet, right in the doorway. Not the best choice. Carl offered the living space as an alternative and John passed on that idea right away. The last thing he wanted was to be splayed out on the floor and have someone come a knocking on his door.

Allison had hung one of the pictures she had taken of Atlantis from space, when he had taken her up in Jumper One, over the bed. The space had originally been reserved for Johnny Cash, but ever since the incident with Corporal Blair, the Man in Black stayed in small pieces in the box Teyla had found. John couldn't bring himself to throw it away, so he kept the box in the bottom of his dresser. Allison hung other photos on the wall that she had taken since her arrival here. John's room now had that homey feeling.

Allison had taken a photograph of the snow planet where they went skiing and gave that as a gift to Carl to put in his room. Kind of like a peace offering since she was moving in. The living space was still sparse, but given time and approval from John she had a few ideas of her own to make it feel more homey as well. John would not allow Allison to rearrange the furniture. Teyla had placed the furniture this way and he was used to it now and besides he didn't want to hurt Teyla's feelings when she came to his quarters. Although he never told Allison that.

After a while Carl showed Allison how to help John with his shower. John was used to Carl seeing him naked and he was used to Allison, but to have the two of them in the bathroom helping was a little overwhelming. There really wasn't much in the way of helping, other than taking off his pants and putting clean ones back on when he was done. The rest the lift and or John did for himself.

Allison seemed to adjust to this lifestyle well, actually to John's lifestyle. She kept her things put away so as not to be in his way. Allison wasn't always the neatest person, but with John and his wheelchair she knew the importance of keeping things off the floor and put away. She even remembered to put the showerhead back down after she had taken her showers. It wasn't as hard an adjustment, living with someone who was a paraplegic, than Allison had thought it would be.

They had each accepted each other's careers. Unlike their marriage. Allison wanted John to quit the military, flying rescue missions behind enemy lines were too dangerous. But so was being a banker. Allison realized that no job was safe. The duties and responsibilities that each of their positions, here on Atlantis, held its own dangers. However, John and Allison talked through their concerns for each other. John's job wasn't exactly a nine to five safe job. And Allison's missions were not always a piece of cake either. Battling the elements, the local inhabitants or space had its dangers.

oOo

"Sheppard to Lorne." The Colonel said into his comm. He was pacing in his room having a hard time believing what he was actually considering doing.

"_Lorne go ahead."_ The Lt. Colonel replied. Lorne and Colonel Sheppard had managed to rebuild their friendship. Although it had taken several long months.

"Colonel could you and your team report to my quarters please." The Colonel asked, he knew they had the day off since they got back late last night.

"_Yes Sir. Give me ten minutes to round them up and we'll be there."_ Lorne responded cheerfully.

"That's fine Colonel. Thanks. See you in ten." Sheppard signed off and continued his pacing back and forth. Ten minutes seemed like hours to him.

Finally his suite door chimed, thinking 'open', the door opened and Lorne's team stood ready. John motioned for them to come inside and sit down. Ronon choose to stand against the wall to keep watch like he normally did, whether it be in the briefing room or on a mission, he was always on alert.

Evan and Rodney took positions on the couch, while Teyla took a seat in one of the lounge chairs. John wheeled himself around so he could face the four of them. His back was to his desk.

"Guys…thanks for coming on short notice." John opened with. "I asked you here because I need your help with something." John fidgeted while trying to find the right words or phrasing.

Seeing the Colonel struggle, "Colonel, we would be glad to assist you in any way that we can." Teyla offered, always the calm and reasonable one. She knew her team mates would do anything for the Colonel and hadn't bothered to seek permission before making the offer.

John smiled and nodded. "I want to ask Allison to marry me." There he said it. It's out in the open now. John was waiting for the barrage of objections he knew would follow that statement. He couldn't look at them, so he just stared at the floor in front of him.

"Well it's about time. I was beginning to think your mathematical brain couldn't add two plus two." Rodney spouted reaching over the coffee table that sat in front of the couch, to offer his hand in congratulations.

John looked up in surprise, Rodney was reaching a hand out, Evan and Ronon were smiling and Teyla gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Congratulations Sir. My sentiments are the same as McKay's…it's about damn time." Evan realized he just cursed to a superior officer and added a quick, "Sir."

"I am happy for you." Teyla declared.

"Guys…Rodney, no snide remarks? No 'are you nuts', 'out of your mind'." John queried.

"Nope. We all think its well over due. There's even a pool as to when you would get around to asking." Rodney stated matter-of-factly. "So why are we here? You want to try your proposal out on us first? What?"

"Actually a couple things. Rodney…would you be my best man?" John looked at Rodney with so much seriousness on his face.

Rodney was speechless for once in his life for about three seconds. "Yes Colonel. I would be honored."

"Ronon, Evan would you guys stand witness? Please say yes because I don't think I could go through with this if you guys are not there with me." John explained, or was it begged, he couldn't decide.

From his stance next to the wall Ronon grinned and tilted his head in acceptance. "It would be my honor Sir. Thank you." Evan said to his commanding officer and friend.

"Teyla, when the Athosians wants to marry is there someone who performs a ceremony?" John asked.

"Yes John. As leader of my people I perform the Union Bond ceremony. Why?"

"I was hoping you'd say that. Teyla would you marry Allison and I. That is if she says yes." John couldn't think of anyone better to marry him here in the Pegasus Galaxy.

"It would be my pleasure John." Teyla bowed her head towards John.

"Great! That's perfect. Now all I need is a ring." John paused a few minutes as if thinking how he could get a wedding ring. The Daedalus would be arriving soon and it would be another six weeks or better before the Daedalus would come back and he could have a ring sent from Earth. "Wait…aren't you scheduled to go to P2G-887 in a few days. And isn't that the planet with all the merchants?"

Teyla gave a gentle nod.

"Okay then…" John started to back away from the living space and head towards his room. "Hey Big Guy come here, need your help." John said to Ronon as he passed him and entered into his room. Stopping in front of his closet, John slid the left panel door open and backed away so Ronon could get closer. The extra bedding and pillows were kept on the left side and other items were stored there too. But he remembered Carl putting his box of winnings from the last pool he won on the top shelf. "Grab that box on the top shelf please." John instructed. "Thanks."

Ronon reached up and took down the box that John had indicated. Setting it on John's lap when he finished. The two men headed back into the living space. Ronon resumed his position against the wall. John rolled back over to where he was and started empting the contents of the box onto the coffee table.

"Teyla surely there is something here of value that is worth trading. When you go to 887 can you look around for a wedding ring?" John asked no one in particular and kept taking the contents of the box out and placing them on the table.

Teyla kneeled on the floor next to the table and reviewed the items John was laying out. Rodney snatched up a candy bar and started eating before anyone could say anything. Chocolate was gold in the Pegasus Galaxy and could buy almost anything. John pulled out CD's, DVD's, magazine's, candy bars and other trinkets that people bet with.

"What am I doing? Here take everything you might need it. Rodney, Evan you know what to look for, but let Teyla or Ronon do the bargaining. They're much better at it…no offence guys." John gave the guys a wry grin.

"None taken Colonel. When do you plan to ask Miss Hodges? I haven't placed my bet yet." Evan gave the Colonel a devious looking smile.

"I haven't placed my bet either." John looked at his friends and started laughing, they all joined in. "I still have to talk to Elizabeth I'm sure there is paperwork that needs to be done and Carson will need to do blood tests, but I know that will be okay since we were married once before…"

"Colonel…take a breath before you fai…pass out. I think you should ask Allison first. See if she says yes before you go marching down the isle." Rodney reminded the Colonel he was getting a little ahead of himself.

"You're right." John uttered breathing more slowly.

"Of course I'm right…genius here remember. I'm always right." Rodney articulated.

"Not always McKay." Boomed Ronon's deep voice with a grin on his face.

oOo

Allison had developed her own circle of friends, Jess Weist was one of them. When Allison arrived she met Dr. Rhomburg and his assistant and the two ladies hit if off. Jess showed Allison around Atlantis, where her quarters were, the mess hall, gate room, where the Military Commanders office was. Jess showed her some of her favorite balconies and where the rec room was. All the important locations one needs to know. They ate their meals together and laughed over girl stuff most of the time.

Today the two ladies sat in the mess hall having lunch and chatting about nothing and everything. John was still at a debriefing with one of the teams and couldn't make their usual lunch date. Allison was telling Jess about living with the Colonel and confided in her about being his ex-wife. The Colonel and Allison had been living together for over four months now and Allison was glowing from ear to ear.

Their conversation turned quiet as Allison told Jess about the Colonel's funny snoring. Giggles erupted as they looked around to see who might have heard. Allison felt like she was back in Junior High giggling over the cute boy who sat two rows behind her.

"…wished he'd turn off that darn watch alarm of his. He just whispers it's nothing and for me to go back to sleep. But Jess, if it's nothing, then why won't he shut off the alarm?" Allison stated confidentially. "We've been sleeping together for over four months now."

Allison hadn't noticed that Dr. Beckett and Dr. Epson sat at a nearby table behind her eating lunch and had unintentionally overheard her conversation.

"Dr. Beckett, his watch alarm goes off when it's time for him to change positions. You don't think he's…." Carl began to say.

"Aye, I do. I best get him checked out. Have you noticed anything?" Carson asked his fellow physician.

"Actually, I haven't. Miss Hodges has been helping with his showers and when he does his exercises, we just change into shorts." Carl confessed.

"The Colonel's not due for his complete physical for another two months. I'll have to come up with some kind of story." Beckett needed to come up with a plausible reason for giving the Colonel a complete physical two months early.

"I'll speak to Miss Hodges. Explain why the alarm goes off. She might be the only one the Colonel will listen too. And I know she doesn't want to see the Colonel get ill." Advised Carl.

The two Doctors nodded and went back to their lunch. Both thinking on how to approach the situation.

oOo

Dr. Beckett sent the Colonel an e-mail stating it was time for the military contingent to have complete physicals. He wanted the Colonel to schedule four per day, two in the morning and two in the afternoon. Starting with the highest ranking officer down to the enlisted Private First Class or Airman. And as such, setting the example for his men Dr. Beckett insisted that the Colonel be first. Carson knew it was a lame excuse, but it was the best he could come up with on short notice.

Beckett was shocked when he received a reply to his e-mail with a full two week schedule outlining when his Officers were scheduled to appear in the infirmary, and at the top of the list was Sheppard's name. Colonel Sheppard explained he could only do two weeks at a time due to scheduled missions and unforeseen attacks by the 'bad guys'. His words exactly. He couldn't have all of his Officers down at one time. Carson thought for sure he would be in for a fight and was relieved when he didn't have one.

The next morning the Colonel showed up in Dr. Weir's office with only one cup of coffee on his lap. John explained that Carson was starting the annual physicals for his men and he was first on the list so he was fasting for the blood test. He told Elizabeth he was going to ask Carson to take the blood first, so he could eat and keep on schedule.

While the two leaders met for their hour work session, John also asked about the paperwork needed for marriage. He told Elizabeth he was going to ask Allison to marry him soon. Elizabeth jotted down on her PDA a reminder to place her date in the pool. She congratulated him and quickly researched on her laptop for the information John requested. She told John he would have the paperwork tomorrow morning and asked who would be performing the ceremony. John was elated to say that Teyla would be performing the Union Bond ceremony. As an afterthought he asked Elizabeth if they could use the gate room, it just seemed fitting to him. Of course, all this depended on Allison's answer.

At 08:00 sharp the Colonel rolled into the infirmary ready for his physical. His health couldn't be better, his weight was where Carson had wanted all those many years. He figured he would pass with flying colorings.

Meeting Carson coming out of his office, "Carson, can we do the blood test first and then have someone bring me breakfast? It's such a pain to get back on schedule." The Colonel conveyed his concern.

"I can do that Colonel, now head yourself over to exam bed one and I'll be right there. You can start by taking off your clothes." Carson instructed as he went to get the blood draw supplies needed and he told his nurse Colleen to round up some breakfast for the Colonel.

The Colonel wheeled himself to exam bed one and removed his vest, side holster, knife, shoes and socks and t-shirt. _'This would have been easier if Carson would have come to my quarters before I got dressed.' _ John thought as Carson walked in with a tray holding several vials and a needle. In his other hand he held a gown.

Carson set the tray down on the rolling bed side table. Handing the gown to the Colonel, John opened it, slipped it on and tied it behind his neck. Carson steadied the Colonel in a standing position while the Colonel placed his two hands on the bed and lifted himself up and onto the thin mattress. Getting on the exam bed was easy, but getting off and back into his wheelchair took two people.

The Colonel started undoing his belt and pants so Carson could slide them off along with his boxers. Once the Colonel was void of all clothing, Carson spread a sheet over him and began to draw blood. Colleen would be bringing his breakfast shortly.

Four full vials later Colleen walked in with a breakfast tray. Carson took the tray from Colleen while Colleen took the vials and blood tray and headed for the lab. Carson set down the Colonel's breakfast and pushed the roll away bed table over his lap.

"Thanks Carson." The Colonel said as he dug into his breakfast. Colleen had brought him a muffin, juice, eggs and sausages the typical fanfare he would select for himself.

While the Colonel ate, Carson moved to the left side of the exam bed and took the Colonel's pulse, blood pressure, temperature and scoped his left ear, jotting the results down on his handy-dandy chart. Beckett reached for the EKG machine and placed the leads on the Colonel's chest. Turning the machine on and starting the flow of paper he let the machine run for a few minutes.

When the Colonel finished eating Beckett took his respirations, listened to his heart and lungs. All the while John inhaled when he was told and exhaled when he was told. Carson moved back to the right side of the exam bed and scoped his right ear, used his pen light to get pupil reactions, scoped his nasal passages, used a tongue depressor to check his throat and finished with an external exam of his neck glands. Since Carson wasn't making any of those tsking sounds, John knew he was doing good so far.

"You know Carson, I don't miss having that pen light of yours shone in my eyes."

Carson headed south for the next few tests. Carson explained what he was doing and when since the Colonel had no feeling. First Carson took a urine sample then did an ultrasound of the Colonel's abdomen and prostate. Carson rolled the Colonel onto his left side for the colonoscopy.

"You're doing well Colonel, only a few more tests to run." Carson injected rolling the Colonel on to his back again. "I think I will do the physical appearance exam now and save the CT and MRI for last since we have to go to another room for those."

The Colonel accepted the logic of the Doctor. It would be easier to get everything done here on the exam bed that needed to be done before moving to the other rooms.

Carson took hold of the Colonel's right hand and inspected each fingernail, the same for the left hand. Carson checked the glands and lymph nodes under his armpits. Beckett moved down and inspected each foot for fungus and each toenail. Moving to the left side of the bed Carson pulled up the gown to expose the Colonel's abdomen and palpitated the area. As he was replacing the gown he noticed a red spot on the Colonel's hip bone, pulling the sheet down to expose the redden area Carson investigated.

"Colonel how long have you had this?" Pointing to the redden sore on his hip.

The Colonel twisted his body, pushing up on elbows to get a look at what Carson was pointing too. "Don't know. Never noticed it before." The Colonel answered honestly.

"Colonel, this is a pressure sore. You get these from lying in the same spot. The skin is ulcerated, if not treated it can become gangrenous. Have you not been rolling over into new positions at night?" Carson looked sternly at the Colonel debating whether or not he would fess up.

Colonel Sheppard studied the look on Dr. Beckett's face carefully. Did he know, was he fishing or was he just concerned? All these thoughts flashed across the Colonel's mind. John weighed his options: lie, fib or tell the truth. He had seen some buddies loose their limbs due to gangrene. He didn't want to be one of them so he opted for the truth and readied himself for the lecture that would follow.

"No Carson I haven't. I hold Allison close, I lay on my left side all night holding her. The alarm goes off but I have been ignoring it. I don't want to move, let Allison out of my arms or wake her up when I move into a new position, so I just lay their holding her instead. I know I should have moved, but God Carson it's so nice to hold her. I'm really sorry about this."

"I know you are lad. But his can be serious. When you talked to Allison about what she was getting into, why didn't you tell her about this? I'm sure she would understand." Carson inquired.

"I know she would have. It wasn't her, it was me. I wanted to feel…normal…be a normal couple… at least as normal as I can be in bed and changing positions every few hours seemed so…not normal… I'm sorry Carson, is it bad?" John wondered how Alli would take the news of no more cuddling for awhile. He sure didn't want part of his hip removed over something as innocent as changing sleeping positions.

"It's bad enough, but not that bad. I'll get it cleaned up, dressed and give you some antibiotic cream to keep on. You'll need to keep it dry and for the next few days you'll have to sleep on your back or your right side until this clears up. Understood? I'll let Carl know to check on it."

"Understood. Loud and clear Doc. Thanks." John said.

"What's the 'thanks' for? I'm just trying to keep you healthy." Carson retuned.

"For no lecture." John replied.

Carson smiled and went to get the needed supply's to clean and dress the pressure sore. Once that was done, Carson helped John into some scrub pants for the CT scan and the MRI. Carson used the Ancient scanner for the MRI, it's more accurate and detailed then the Earth version of an MRI. Once those two tests are done, and the Colonel got weighed he would be free to go.

As the Colonel exited the infirmary, all tests completed, he met Lt. Col. Lorne coming in the door. His Second in Command was next in line for Carson's little torture session.

oOo

After breakfast Carl made his way to lab 5 to speak to Miss Hodges, he knew the Colonel would be tied up with Dr. Beckett for at least two hours and figured this was the best time to talk to her without any interruptions.

Carl hadn't been to this section of the science wing before. He stopped a blue panel jacketed person in the hall and asked directions to lab 5 where Miss Hodges worked most of the time. Getting directions and making his way down the long hallway he found Miss Hodges sitting on a stool at the back of the room looking over photographs she had taken on her latest mission.

So as to not startle her, Carl wrapped his knuckles on the table he stood in front of asking permission to talk. Allison responded with a wide smile, a shake of her head and gestured for Carl to join her at the far end of the lab.

"What brings you all the way over here Carl?" Allison asked, puzzled as to why Carl would need to see her in private.

"It concerns Colonel Sheppard." Carl responded. "Since you have taken over assisting the Colonel with his showers I need to know if you have noticed any sores or red spots." Carl inquired. "It is part of my job to maintain his health." He added.

Allison thought about the question for a few minutes before answering. "I don't think I have… wait… there might have been something on his left hip, but I'm not sure. It is important?" She asked.

"Yes it is. Has the Colonel been changing his positions during the night? He's to change at least two or three times a night." Carl advised studying Allison's face for clues. Carl could almost see the wheels turning inside Allison's brain as the light went on inside.

Allison's eyes brightened and opened wide and her mouth was shaped like an 'O'. She had put two and two together. "His watch alarm goes off at least three times a night. Is that his reminder to change positions?" Allison asked of Carl.

"Yes. The Colonel cannot stay in the same position for more than a couple hours. If he does it can cause decubitus ulcers to form. The sores or red spots I asked you about. They can become ulcerated or gangrenous and can lead to a whole host of problems for the Colonel." Carl explained.

"Oh my gosh. I didn't know." Allison stated looking up at Carl. "John never said anything. When the alarm would go off he said it was nothing and to go back to sleep. Carl he's been sleeping on his left side for over four months now." Allison looked worried that maybe she had caused something bad to happen.

Picking up on Allison's concerns Carl explained. "Dr. Beckett is giving the Colonel a complete physical as we speak. If there are any problems he will find them. But we need to work as a team, you, me, Dr. Beckett and the Colonel. You know that the Colonel has a habit of keeping certain things to himself. Since you will be more involved than I, I think we should talk about the Colonel's condition and what to watch for." Carl stated.

"I agree. What do I need to know?" Allison asked she really wanted this to work out between her and John and she was willing to do anything to make that happen.

Carl started explaining about the Colonel's eating schedule and the importance of a high fiber diet. He also mentioned that he keeps the chocolate bars and other winnings on the top shelf of the closet so that the Colonel cannot get into it. Carl explained that the Colonel has to empty his bladder at regular intervals and that his catheter has to be changed out every three weeks regardless. Carl took the time to explain the symptoms of an UTI, (urinary tract infection), which are common in paralyzed people. The Doctor explained the Colonel's bowel function and explained that accidents do and will happen during the night even though the Colonel stays on a regular bowel management program.

Carl expounded that when accidents like that happen the Colonel is angry and embarrassed and he helped Allison understand how to cope with the Colonel and the mess. Carl offered his assistance at any time during the day or night.

They talked about blood clots and what to watch for. With Carl stretching the Colonel's muscles on a regular basis he didn't feel this was a major issue, but wanted Allison to be aware of it. The Colonel had not shown any leg spasms in the last two years but again told Allison to watch for the signs.

Carl took it upon himself to advise Allison that the Colonel had an aversion to bugs and was prone to panic attacks. He explained he had to sedate the Colonel for his own wellbeing. Allison found it hard to believe that John was afraid of bugs. What Allison hadn't been told yet was the story of the iratus bug.

Carl also brought up the topic of intercourse just to make sure the Colonel had been honest with Allison about what he could and could not do. Allison listened carefully and for the most part found that John had been honest with her about his capabilities in the bedroom.

The Doctor and the photographer talked for a long time. Carl did his best to answer Allison's questions as long as they were general. He still had a doctor patient relationship with the Colonel that he took serious and did not want to fracture.

"Thank you Carl for telling me all this. It's been very…educational. I'll make sure he doesn't sleep on his left side and when the alarm goes off, I'll make sure he changes positions whether he wants to or not. We can still hold each other without him sacrificing his health. And I promise that if I see anything or suspect anything you and Dr. Beckett will be the first to know. I really want this to work out for the two of us. I think I was too young the first time and John was gone a lot of the time which didn't help. I'm really glad you told me." Allison expressed her thanks.

Carl smiled back and gave a pat on her arm before leaving. He headed to the infirmary to talk to Dr. Beckett. Allison returned to her work, studying the photographs in front of her but her mind kept wondering back over the conversation she just had with Dr. Epson. She had a lot to think over.


	4. Chapter 4 Wounded

Chapter 4 – Wounded

The table was set. Underneath was a light blue cloth draped over and flowing softly down the sides towards the floor. Off center on the table was an Athosian candle the color of butter pecan ice cream gently flickering its tiny aura of light. Silverware was placed just perfect on the light blue cloth below to the left and right of where their dinner plate would be positioned. Two stemmed goblets sat to the right of each plate finishing the table setting.

John had borrowed the table from the mess hall along with a chair. Teyla gave him the cloth and candle. As he came back into his quarters with a lap full of dishware from the mess hall two crystal goblets had appeared on the table. John had no idea where they came from or from whom, but their beauty finished off the table.

He planned for the mess hall to deliver dinner at 18:45 hours. In a large beaker he borrowed from the chemistry lab and ice chips he got from Beckett's infirmary John was chilling two bottles of water. He wished he had wine or champagne but he wasn't supposed to drink it and the only alcohol he knew about was Zelenka's 150 proof or Halling's 200 proof which he figured would not set the right mood if the two of them ended up smashed.

With Carl's help, John put on his black jeans and a long sleeved black t-shirt which hugged his muscular frame. Underneath you could make out the ripples of his abs, the perfect six-pack. For a man who does one hundred sit-ups two or three times a week you would think nothing less. After spending an hour in the bathroom primping he looked at himself in the mirror with satisfaction.

Spread out on the bed lay a beautiful gown of dark green that Teyla had brought back from the mainland on her recent visit. The sleeves were long and ruffled at the cuff that was trimmed in a dark color. The neckline was rounded and trimmed in the same dark color as the sleeves. The bodice joined the flowing gown with a three inch wide dark band. John couldn't wait to see Alli in the dress.

It was getting close to the time he had asked Alli to meet him in his quarters. John checked his jean pocket for the leather bag that held the ring that Evan and Rodney picked out and for which Teyla bargained for. It cost him six chocolate bars, a bargain at any price in the Pegasus galaxy. The ring was simple, a band of yellow gold. It couldn't be any more perfect.

When he married Allison the first time John went all out with a one karat diamond wedding and engagement set. It cost him nearly eight months pay as a Captain in the Air Force. But at the time, Allison was worth every penny and he thought they would have a lifetime together.

John thought the lights in the living space lower to give the room a subtle glow for ambiance. He double checked the music CD he put into his laptop for later. The suites door swished open and Allison came walking in full steam until she noticed the room was darkened more than usual. Stopping her stride and taking a moment to adjust to her surroundings she found John smiling at her.

"I thought we could have a nice dinner together. Why don't you go and change. I laid something out for you, it's on the bed." John informed her.

"Okay." Allison wanted to say more, but nothing came to mind. Looking at John in his black t-shirt and jeans had taken her breath away. He was drop dead gorgeous.

Allison reappeared in the living space about twenty minutes later. By then, the mess hall had delivered their dinner which he had sitting on his desk at the moment.

"You look beautiful." John managed to get out. The dark green gown just made Allison's hazel eyes seem even brighter if that were even possible. The gown flowed as she walked and he noticed that she had put her hair up leaving wisps of sandy brown hair along her neck.

John couldn't take his eyes off her; he was lost in her perfection, grace and elegance. "John where did this come from?" Allison asked referring to the beautiful gown she adorned.

"I wanted tonight to be special and Teyla thought you might like to wear something other than BDU's. She borrowed the dress from a friend on the mainland. Its only on loan, sorry honey." John explained. "It's been six months today since you arrived here. I thought we could celebrate finding each other again."

Looking around the suite she noticed the table set for two, the candle. "You did all this?" Allison asked.

"Do you like it?" He replied.

"Yes." She replied.

"Dinners getting cold, why don't you sit down here." John pulled out the chair for Alli adjusting the gown as she sat. John rolled over to the desk and brought her a plate full of food. Rolling back he pulled one of the bottles of water out of the beaker, opening it and pouring her a glass of water in the stemmed goblet.

John went back to his desk for his own plate and water and came back to take his position at the table opposite of Allison. After staring at each other for a few minutes, they finally started eating and talking about their day.

After dinner John hit play on his laptop and the music was soft and sweet. The sound filled the room. He coaxed Allison to sit on his lap reassuring her he wouldn't break. He swayed back and forth to the music in his wheelchair, it was almost like dancing. Allison's arms wrapped gently around his neck. She leaned in against his hard body resting her head on top of John's. She closed her eyes and reveled in the touch, the music and the moment they were sharing.

Allison sat down on the couch. John wheeled close so they could still hold hands. Getting his nerve up, his voice cracking as he spoke. "Allison there's something I want to ask you." Their eyes met and held on each other. "Would you marry me…again?" John managed to get out not taking his eyes off Allison. He reached into his jean pocket and pulled out the small leather pouch.

Releasing Alli's hand he untied the pouch, opening the drawstring top to get his fingers inside. Pulling out the band of gold he waited for Alli's answer.

The room was silent except for the beating of their hearts, one a little faster than the other. The sound of each inhale or exhale could be heard. Allison stared at the gold band then back at John and back to the gold ring again. So much was running through her mind. She wanted to say yes, and she wanted to say no at the same time. What if getting married ruined what they had built these past few months. Had it been only months? Six months, is that enough time to know someone, really know someone? But she knew John from before, loved him before, cared and worried about him before. Could she do it again, only this time he needed more care. After learning all about John's disability could she handle it long term. She remembered her talk with Carl and how she wanted them to be together and for it to work out. Now she wasn't so sure if she could handle marriage, handle John and his paralysis.

After what seemed like an hour, John spoke up. "Allison? Sweetheart did you hear what I asked?"

Allison blinked and nodded but remained silent. She was finding it hard to find her voice.

John waited a while longer, still Allison remained quiet. Disappointment flashed in his eyes. He knew by her silence that she didn't want to get married. John had thought this was what she wanted, but maybe it was he who wanted it more. He would eventually put this night behind him and go on with the way things were. Maybe later on Allison would change her mind. John slowly dropped the gold band back into the leather pouch. Synching it tight and tying off the top to secure the pouch John's hand headed for his pocket.

Allison reached out a hand to stop him. "John."

"It's okay Allison, I understand. I didn't mean to rush you. Taking care of someone like me is an awful lot to ask. I didn't think it through, forgive me." John softly mumbled looking at her hand on his and not making eye contact. He couldn't bear to look into those beautiful hazel eyes right now.

"Yes." Allison hadn't meant to take so long to answer.

John raised his head and gazed at her trying to decide whether it was a pity yes or a genuine yes to his marriage proposal. He couldn't tell by her face or expression since it was a blank slate. It was amazing three letters, consonants and vowels, which represent the English language arranged in a specific order to form a simple word, could hold so much sorrow or joy.

Allison was still holding his hand that held the gold ring secured in the pouch. "Allison?" John was puzzled he didn't know what to say. Had she really meant yes, how could he be sure.

Allison rose from the couch bent down close to John's ear and whispered, "follow me." As quickly as she whispered she rose and walked into their bedroom.

John put the leather pouch in his jean pocket and turned himself around and wheeled himself into the bedroom. Allison was waiting for him on the bed.

oOo

Sun was streaming in through the window lighting the couple that lay holding each other in a warm embrace. The morning sun sparkled off the band of gold which adorned Allison's left hand sending rays of light to the dark corners of the room. Her left hand rested on John's chest, while John's left hand caressed her back and shoulders.

On the nearby nightstand a voice pierced the quietness of the room. A voice that demanded to be answered and not ignored, a threatening voice.

As John reached for his comm he gave his fiancé a kiss on her forehead. Unwilling to disturb her yet the need to squelch the voice was greater. He slipped the comm around his ear and lightly tapped it to open the frequency. "Doc…Atlantis had better be under attack."

"I'm sorry to disturb you lad, but we've all been worried. No one seen ya all morning and it's getting rather late." Carson informed him. He used his medical override to open the closed off comm channel. Being the CMO had its perks. Carson wavered between overriding the comm or overriding his bedroom door.

"Fine Doc. Just sleeping in…no…I think I'm taking the day off. Let Elizabeth know I'm not coming in to work today." John said as he smiled at Allison who was now awake, her head still lay on his chest. His arm around her pulling her in even closer if that were possible.

"Carl has breakfast waiting for ya. It's almost 09:30 and you need to stay on schedule." Carson reminded him, always the doctor and looking out for him.

"I know Doc. Thanks. Sheppard out." John tapped his comm off, removed it from his ear and laid it back down on the nightstand.

"Dr. Beckett is right you need to stay on schedule and I'm being a bad influence. Now get up before I call Ronon in here." Allison told him with a gleam in her eye. Moving away to get out of bed herself only to be stopped by a strong hand pulling her back close for another good morning kiss.

John groaned he didn't want to get out of bed, yet the mention of food stirred something deep inside. Hunger.

"Come on…let's get showered and dressed. Breakfast is waiting and getting cold I bet." Allison prodded her husband-to-be out of bed and managed to escape his loving touch and headed for the bathroom.

John rolled in a couple minutes later after having grabbed a clean pair of jeans and boxers. Allison was already in the shower. John relieved his full bladder and wheeled himself into position for the lift to carry him into the shower. Already clad in his birthday suit he didn't need any help this morning. John initiated the lift program and soon found himself on the seat in the shower.

Allison's slender figure was inches away and he pulled her close so he could kiss the flat of her stomach. It had been the longest shower he had ever taken to his recollection, in the back of his mind he sent a thank you to Atlantis for not running out of hot water.

Allison helped get his boxers and jeans on. They finished dressing and by 10:37 managed to emerge from the bedroom to find breakfast. Sitting on the blue covered table was a thermos of coffee, complete with coffee cups, two muffins and some fruit.

Allison took her seat and poured the coffee. John came towards the table his vision graying out and he was lightheaded. Blinking to get his focus back and shaking his head trying to stop the un-welcomed feeling inside his head. He rolled a little closer; Allison's attention was on pouring their morning coffee.

"Alli…" John gasped out, his hands reaching for his head. John's body descended towards the floor hitting his head on the edge of the table before collapsing unconscious.

At the sound of her name Allison looked up and watched as in slow motion John reached for his head, eyes scrunched tightly shut, his head hitting the side of the table before his body hit the floor. As she stood abruptly, knocking the chair over behind her she stepped and knelt by John's side.

Her attempts to wake him by tapping his cheek failed. She called out his name but there was no response. Thinking quickly she removed John's comm and summoned help. Calling for Dr. Beckett and Dr. Epson. In her panicked voice she did her best to tell them what had happened and asked them to hurry. It was nearly 11:00 hours when the two Doctors arrived, John had been lying on the floor for several minutes.

Carson headed straight to his patient on the floor to begin assessment calling out to him loudly while pulling out his pen light to check pupil reactions. Carl moved behind Allison gripping her shoulders and pulling her to her feet gently and away from the Colonel. He needed her out of the way while they checked over the unconscious form on the floor. Carl told her everything would be alright and turned to kneel next to the Colonel where Allison had been just moments before.

Carl took his queue from Dr. Beckett getting pulse, blood pressure and respirations for him. Dr. Beckett determined that the Colonel had passed out, most likely due to not eating three hours ago like he should have. After two years his body had become accustomed to the strict diet and eating regiment. The bump on the Colonels' head he received would give him a nasty headache but was not life threatening.

"Carl, we should get the Colonel back to bed and start an IV for fluids. If he comes around we'll need to try and get some food in him. I'll contact Ronon to give you a hand lad." Dr. Beckett explained what needed to be done and tapped his comm and requested Ronon's assistance.

Ronon was in the gym working out with Teyla when the Doctor's call for assistance came in. Of course Teyla was concerned and followed. She tapped her comm and advised Dr. McKay, she was sure he would want to know. Dr. McKay contacted Elizabeth out of courtesy and she contacted Lt. Col. Lorne Second in Command of the Military.

Ronon and Teyla reached the suite first. Carl and Ronon lifted the Colonel off the floor and carried him back to his bedroom. Teyla stayed with Allison offering a comforting arm around her shaking shoulders. Rodney wasted no time with knocking and walked right in, followed by a worried Elizabeth and Col. Lorne.

There had been too many times where they sat vigil over the Colonel. Those long vigils had become less and less since his accident, but nonetheless, they cared deeply for him.

Elizabeth wanted to know what happened and as Allison began her explanation, Ronon joined them. The five listened intently to her recount the events, which offered little explanation as to why the Colonel was in the mess he was in.

Dr. Beckett soon came out of the bedroom and was bedazed at the number of people in the living space. He was vaguely aware that Teyla had accompanied Ronon, but now Rodney, Elizabeth and Evan had joined them.

Allison pushed passed her friends to get to Dr. Beckett. "How is he? Is he going to be alright?" Allison expelled quickly.

"Aye. The Colonel will be fine. He needs fluids and food. Carl is starting an IV now. He'll have a wee bit of a headache from the bump he got, but otherwise he will be fine." Carson explained to the waiting crowd.

"Carson, what caused this? I read over his physical evaluation and you bench marked him at 49 out of 50, nearly a perfect score. How could this happen?" Elizabeth stood, holding her arms across her chest, concern evident on her face.

"The technical term is he 'fainted'. His body has become dependant on his strict eating schedule. The lad should have ate around 08:00 this morning, but didn't, which caused lightheadedness I presume and he fainted." Carson surmised due to his assessment of the Colonel when he arrived.

"He fainted!" Rodney blurted out. "Now we're even. Can't wait to rub that bit of news at the Colonel."

"Can I be with him?" Allison asked.

"In a few minutes' lass. Carl's getting him settled in scrubs and starting an IV. I'll let you know when ya can go in." Carson patted Allison on her hand. "Looks like congratulations are in order lass, when did this happen?" Cason inquired at seeing the gold band around her finger giving Allison a wide smile and a peck on her cheek.

"Last night." She said meekly.

"Can you be a little more specific as to the time?" Rodney injected. Getting nasty looks from everyone. "What? You're all in the pool. Don't tell me you're not interested to know who won."

Allison looked around at her new friends, John's family; she guessed it wouldn't hurt to tell them. "Dr. McKay, in answer to your question, I would say it was 23:59." Allison had always liked Cinderella and found the fairy tale so romantic. John was her prince now and she was sure they would live happily ever after.

Carl joined the group in the living space and Carson nodded to Allison that it was okay to go see John. Carl came up to the table and proceeded to take the muffin back into the bed room. John was not fully awake, but awake enough that Carl was going to try and get him to eat. Fluids were one thing, but the Colonel needed actual food in his system.

"Alright all of ya go back to whatever it was you were doing. Carl and Miss Hodges can take care of the Colonel. Now let's go." Carson picked up his medical bag, opened his arms and tried to gather the group up and push them out the door.

'You will let us know if anything changes." Elizabeth stated over her shoulder as the CMO followed the group to the transporter.

"Aye Elizabeth. I promise." Carson replied stepping into the transporter.

oOo

Carl set the muffin down on the nightstand and began cutting it into small bite size pieces. The Colonel was propped up by several pillows his head slowly moving from side to side. His eyes were shut but he was not sleeping, yet, he was not fully awake either. He had an IV attached to the back of his right hand while tubing snaked from under the blanket to a catheter bag that hung from the nightstand drawer pull.

Carl took a small piece of the muffin in his right hand, while his left gently pulled down on the Colonel's chin, essentially opening his mouth. Carl put the small bite of muffin in his mouth and told the Colonel to chew stroking his throat in a downward motion. The sensation alone got the Colonel to chew and swallow. Carl took a second piece of muffin and repeated the steps. After the fourth, Carl held up a glass with a straw told the Colonel to drink stroking his throat to get the desired swallowing action. Then he went back to the muffin, slowly feeding the Colonel small pieces.

Allison sat on the bed holding John's left hand petting it slowly as she watched Carl feed John small bites of muffin and drink from a straw. "I'm sorry Carl, this is all my fault. You told me John had to stay on his schedule and look what I've done." Allison's eyes began to moisten.

"The Colonel is at fault here he knew better. This almost happened once before when he got too busy to eat. Only Dr. Beckett caught it before he fainted." Carl explained as he continued to feed the muffin to the Colonel stroking his throat to get him to swallow.

"It's still my fault. I should have made him…us… get up. I'm going to be a terrible wife." Allison mumbled. Remembering how nice if felt to snuggle close in John's arms. She did however make him change positions last night when his watch alarm went off.

"Noooooo." Whispered John. "…'ood wife. My f'lt." John tried to say. He still couldn't get his eyes to open on his command and his head pounded soundly against the inside of his skull.

"Open your eyes Colonel…come on…that's it…keep going." Carl encouraged and little by little the Colonel got his eyes open.

Focusing was tough, he knew from the voice that Carl was there to his right and Allison was somewhere close. He could feel his left hand being stroked, it felt warm and secure. From what he could make out, he was back in his room and not the infirmary.

Carl held out another small piece of muffin and instructed the Colonel to open and chew. While Carl explained what he knew had happened.

"How 'ong?" John asked finding it difficult to get his words out.

Carl looked at the clock on the nightstand, "about 45 minutes. Do you remember what happened?"

"Eyes gray. Light head." John mumbled in reply he hoped Carl understood what he was trying to convey.

"That's what Dr. Beckett thought. You fainted Colonel." Carl told him.

"Passed out…D'nt tell M'Kay." John corrected Carl on his terminology and grinned a little at the thought of McKay knowing he fainted. He had teased the scientist after the shadow incident and if McKay knew he had fainted he would be the recipient of the never ending same teasing.

"Sorry Colonel." Carl offered the man. "It's lunch time. I'm going to get you lunch, you need to eat. Miss Hodges will stay with you. I want you to stay awake, keep your eyes open. Can you do that for me Colonel?" Inquired the Doctor.

"Try."

"I'll make sure he does Carl." Allison told him, it was the least she could do since she felt responsible.

Carl left the pair and headed for the mess hall, as promised he returned with lunch not only for the Colonel but for Miss Hodges as well. The Colonel was fortunate there was some Athosian soup left; it was very popular amongst the inhabitants of Atlantis. The Colonel also had two crackers and some juice.

When Carl walked in with lunch, the Colonel was more alert, his eyes seemed to focus and track better. "How's your headache Colonel?" Carl asked.

"Would be better with drugs." Answered the Colonel.

"After you eat **all** your lunch." Carl put an emphasis on 'all'. "I bet you didn't think this was how you were going to spend your day off Colonel, now was it?" Carl thought it was time for a little humor.

"Not exactly how I pictured it, no." Replied the Colonel. With the help of Allison and Carl, the Colonel managed to eat three fourths of his lunch. He still hoped that Carl would be good to him and let him have the drugs anyway for his headache.

Carl had taken away the lunch dishes and carried them to the living space. At seeing him walk back in, he held the familiar white paper cup and a glass of water. Downing the two pills with the water John could almost feel the relief.

"Miss Hodges, the Colonel needs to rest now."

"Can't she stay? I promise to rest." The Colonel implored Carl giving him one of his puppy-dog grins that never really worked on the Swiss Doctor.

"Only until you fall asleep. Then Miss Hodges has to leave. No exceptions." Carl stated sternly and without a doubt he would follow up to make sure Allison left.

The Colonel wanted to complain but he had to pick his battles. His record of winning any battles with Carl was zero. Allison removed some of the pillows so that John could lie down and she scooted close. It didn't take long and the Colonel was sound asleep, Allison slipped out from under his arm and left.

oOo

"Hi Allison. I thought you were taking the day off." Jessica Weist said as Allison entered the lab.

"Plans didn't turn out like I thought." Allison replied as she sat down next to Jess. "What's all this?" Sweeping her hand across the pile of mission logs.

"Dr. Rhomburg wants to know where the mission teams reported spacial anomalies." Replied Jess.

"Here, I'll help you." Using her left hand Allison reached out to take a pile of mission reports only to have her hand snatched up by Jess.

"When were you going to tell me? This is beautiful." Jess gasped out looking at the gold band around Allison's finger.

"John asked me last night. We had a romantic dinner in our quarters, we danced, talked, he planned the whole thing himself. He had candles and music, he brought a table up from the mess hall and it was draped with a blue cloth. John even had a gown for me to wear. It was dark green and it was so beautiful Jess. After dinner he asked me to marry him…again." Allison explained, she was lost in the moment of remembering last night.

"When? Where? Who's your maid of honor?" Spilled Jess.

"When, I don't know. Where, I don't know that either. Who, well that's easy Jess would you be my maid of honor?" Allison asked.

"Me? Of course." Shouted Jess as she hopped over to Allison to give her a friendly embrace.

Allison thought to herself that that was one detail down, she really needed to talk to John about the when and where. Jess wanted more details about the romantic evening and neither one looked at another mission report all afternoon.

oOo

When John woke up he felt good enough that he wanted to get dressed and out of bed. Carl checked him over and agreed so he removed the IV and catheter. He assisted the Colonel in getting dressed.

Allison joined him for dinner in the mess hall with the 'gang' and John sat through endless jabs by Rodney about fainting. John couldn't say much about it as he had done the same to Rodney. It really is true, 'what goes around comes around'.

After dinner he and Allison went back to his quarters and talked. Allison asked about the wedding and John relayed his thoughts. Digging out the paperwork that Elizabeth had got for him the two read them over, filled them out and signed them. Allison was okay with Teyla performing the ceremony, she just questioned how 'legal' it was if they ever went back to Earth. John assured her it would be perfectly legal. John was excited to know that Allison had already chosen a maid of honor. John explained that he had asked Rodney to be his best man and for Evan and Ronon to stand witness.

If John had his way he would be married tomorrow but Allison said she needed time to find a dress and Jess would need to find a dress as well. John mentioned that Teyla offered to help and there was the party afterwards and the honeymoon, small details that she wanted to work out before the big day. Allison also wanted to know more about the Union Bond ceremony John explained that he would set up a meeting with Teyla to go over the ceremony with them. They agreed on two weeks to make preparations and at that time would set a date.

John wasn't really tired after sleeping late and most of the afternoon, but the clock read 23:17 and it was time for bed. Allison had been yawning for the past hour yet they kept talking and making wedding plans. John relieved himself and Allison helped him out of his jeans and the pair crawled into bed together. John had his arm wrapped around Allison as she laid her head down on the crook of his shoulder.

By the time the alarm beeped the second time during the night for John to move into a new position, Allison felt something wet against her thigh. Investigating further she realized that John had had a bowel movement and urinated in his sleep. John was half asleep as he could hear the alarm and move to a new position without fully waking up, but Allison was prodding him to wake.

"John wake up." Allison whispered into his ear nudging him in his shoulder to wake.

Thinking she just wanted him to roll over he answered, "I'm rolling over I promise." John muttered.

"No John, you have to wake up, there's been an accident." She said to him, hoping to get a rise out of him.

"Accident? Where's my comm?" John was slowly waking and reaching for him comm to check in with the control room.

"No John, not with Atlantis. You had an accident you need to wake up so we can clean up." Allison stated, this was the first time something like this had happened. Had it not been for Carl explaining how to handle the situation, she might have been freaked. Finally Allison turned on the lamp on her side of the bed. John snapped awake when he finally realized what the problem was.

"Oh God Allison I'm sorry." John was embarrassed quickly he told Allison, "there's a blanket in the closet, take it and your pillow and go back to sleep on the couch in the living space." John ordered her to go, he would take care of this mess call Carl if he needed, which he already knew he would have to do.

"No John I won't. We do this together. Now what do we do first?" Allison asked rather sternly.

"First you go to the living space. I'll call Carl. You don't need to bother with this. I'm sorry." John stated, that was the second 'I'm sorry' in as many of minutes.

"No." She said. "I ask you again, what do we do first?"

"Allison please, just go. I can't deal with this and you. Please go." John begged barely making eye contact with her.

Allison didn't budge, she stood firm, arms crossed, eyes glaring and determined to see this through. Carl had said that John was stubborn, but she could be even more stubborn when she wanted.

John picked up on her stance, her mood and her reluctance to leave. He released a sigh and new the battle had been lost. He was loosing his touch, he longed for the day that he would once again win a battle. Marriage was a compromise, give and take, you win some battles and you lose some battles. They weren't even married yet and he was loosing this battle.

"Okay. First get a towel, fold it in half and put it on the seat of my wheelchair." John finally said. Allison dashed into the bathroom and returned with the towel placing it on the seat as instructed. John activated the lift and was soon seated in his wheelchair heading for the bathroom. Stopping in front of the bathroom lift he reached for the controls but explained to Allison, "are you sure you want to help? It's not too late to call Carl."

"No I'm doing this. What's next?" She said a bit eagerly.

"I'll activate the lift, just before the lift lowers me in the shower, I'll pause the lift so you can take off my boxers. There's a hamper by my closet to put them in. I'll shower then you can put on a clean pair. Then we'll tackle the bedding together." John explained.

Allison nodded and waited for John to pause the lift. Once he did, she removed the soiled boxers and wrapped them up in the towel that she had put down in the wheelchair. While John showered, she took them to the hamper, changed her clothes and brought back a clean pair of boxers from his dresser.

Now that he was clean and back in dry boxers they tackled the soiled bedding. The pillows were tossed to the floor on Allison's side of the bed out of the way. Allison was in charge of removing the top corners of the sheet from the head of the bed. John took care of the two at the foot of the bed. Once the sheet was free John rolled it up and along with the top sheet and blanket, put it in the hamper.

The soiled mattress pad was placed in the trash. John opened his closet and removed a new pad, new set of sheets and blanket. They divided up the chore of making the bed Allison took to the top since the nightstands hindered John from getting close enough to reach the corners. John took the foot of the bed which was easily within his reach. The top sheet and blanket were spread out and Allison tossed the pillows back onto the bed.

John got back in bed and Allison crawled in beside him, it would be morning soon so they tried to salvage what was left of the night. John apologized again for causing such a mess but Allison just told him it was okay and to go back to sleep. Allison understood he had no control and it wasn't his fault.

Carl came in to check the Colonel one last time before allowing him back on duty. John informed him of the mess he had made during the night. Carl noted it down on his nursing chart along with the current set of vitals which would be forwarded to Dr. Beckett when he was through. Carl said no to the morning run with Ronon, just for today, so John took coffee to Dr. Weir and they talked for an hour before he had breakfast himself. Then off to his office to get work done.

oOo

Two weeks went by fast and Allison announced that she and Jess had their dresses for the wedding so whenever Dr. Weir could clear the gate room they could get married.

Allison had taken Teyla up on her offer to help. Teyla knew her people would want to help and took Allison and Jess to the mainland and introduced them to Meer'na. Meer'na was the best at stitching what was needed by her people, coats, shirts, pants and even shoes. While on the merchant planet Teyla traded for some fabric that she thought might interest Allison while Col. Lorne and Rodney looked for a ring.

As such Allison fell in love with the fabric Teyla had found; after Meer'na took measurements the two women designed a wedding dress. Jess looked around at the other fabric Meer'na had and asked if she could also make a dress for her, Meer'na agreed.

Allison talked with Rose Highland about the reception and a wedding cake. Rose told her not to worry that she would take care of everything and it would be perfect. Allison gave her thoughts and Rose was excited at her suggestions. Both women know the Colonel well enough to know what he would like and what he wouldn't, Allison seemed to be catering to the Colonel more than she was to herself.

Rose took notice and had already decided what she could do to make it special for Allison as well. It was her wedding too.

Dr. Weir checked the upcoming mission schedules and determined in three days time they would have a wedding.

oOo

"Carl." John yelled for Carl from his bedroom. He needed help getting dressed. When Carl came into the room the Colonel made a mad dash to the bathroom and vomited. Wiping his mouth and moving towards the sink to rinse out his mouth, "I don't feel so good." The Colonel complained, as if throwing up wasn't a big enough clue to how he was feeling.

Carl checked his pulse and felt the Colonel's forehead with the back of his hand the Colonel was not hot and his pulse was fine. "Colonel, you're fine. You're getting married in a few hours and I'm sure it is just nerves."

"Am I doing the right thing?" John was unsure if this was for the best. He had begun second guessing himself two days ago when Elizabeth told him the gate room would be clear.

"You'll be fine. You'll get through this and yes you're doing the right thing." Carl responded to the Colonel's question only to see a retreating back heading for the bathroom again.

First it was his breakfast that made a repeat appearance, now it was just the dry heaves. Allison had wanted a morning ceremony since the gate room was flooded with the morning light. She had spent last night in her old quarters and John had to spend the night alone, it was difficult not having Allison there to hold or to touch. But if he managed to quell his unsettled stomach in a few hours he would have Allison to hold forever.

After rinsing his mouth out for the second time in five minutes John rolled out into his bedroom where Carl stood waiting for him. "Can't you give me something for this? My insides are rebelling." The Colonel asked hopefully.

"Breathe. Take a deep breath in and hold, then let it out slowly. I have nothing I can give you for nervousness. Now breathe." Carl calmly replied.

Carl had brought the Colonel his breakfast. Carl was superstitious about the groom seeing the bride before the wedding so when he offered to bring breakfast back the Colonel didn't argue. In fact he didn't know if he could have made it to the mess hall this morning, his nerves were tying his insides into a million knots.

The Colonel was still dressed in sweatpants and his t-shirt. His class A dress uniform hung from the closet door in front of him, polished shoes sat on the floor. He could remember almost everything that happened in his life, but he couldn't ever remember feeling this nervous when he married Allison the first time. Maybe it had to do with his disability making him think twice about what he had asked Allison to do.

With Carl's gentle prodding, the Colonel shaved before taking his shower. It was getting close to the time when he would have to put on his uniform.

oOo

Allison woke up alone in a bed void of John's scent, his touch or his good morning kisses. Jess had come by and the two went to the mess hall for breakfast before going back to her quarters to prepare and dress for her wedding. _'Oh God, my wedding.'_ Allison thought inwardly.

She loved John and he loved her. John told her he had never stopped loving her. _'Am I doing the right thing?'_ this thought crossed her mind a million and one times in the past hour.

"Jess, do you think I can be the wife John wants me to be?"

"Of course. You love him don't you?" Jess asked as she gazed at the wedding dress hanging on the closet door.

"…yes." Allison didn't know why it had taken her so long to answer. She did love John, with all her heart.

"Look it's getting late, you better get showered and I'll help you get dressed." Jess advised and Allison headed for the shower.

oOo

Rose Highland had been cooking since early morning, not only for breakfast to feed the masses, but for the wedding reception, the mess hall was filled with wonderful smells. After breakfast was served, Rose closed down the mess hall and a hand picked team of Marines, Scientists and Athosians began decorating the room.

Sheets of colorful fabric hung from the ceiling down to the floor over the windows, the light shining through added a glow to the room. The mess hall tables were draped with fabric as well to soften up the hard, cold edges. In the center of the room sat a large table, on which, in a few hours, would display the wedding cake Rose had taken personal interest in making.

Along the south wall Rose lined up several tables in a row, all covered with cloth that her guests would be selecting their scrumptious morsels from. She prepared Athosian stew, the Colonel's favorite and small turkey sandwiches another of his favorites. She also made for Allison the sweet biscuits she was told reminded her of her mothers. Rose had trays of fruits and vegetables to be picked at. It may have been the same foods they ate daily, but Rose displayed them with flare and elegance, which made them seem all the more desirable.

On the gate room floor sat about 30 chairs in five rows, with an isle down the center. The balcony railing overhead was draped with even more fabric to just soften it up a bit. The floor sparkled; the windows with the sun flooding through were crystal clear. This would be the first wedding to take place on Atlantis in over 10,000 years.

Since the gate room could not hold the entire compliment of the expedition, military and civilian and those of the Athosians, the ceremony was going to be broadcast throughout the city. At the top of the gate rooms grand staircase, focused on the floor, just a few feet in front of the Stargate where John and Allison would be shortly, pointed a video camera. Behind the Stargate was a second video feed camera just over Teyla's left shoulder that would capture John and Allison's bonding.

oOo

Rodney came barreling into the Colonel's quarters. "Sheppard it's time!" Rodney shouted. Rodney was dressed in a black suit with a light blue collared shirt underneath. The tie was a dark color with a small pattern embedded in the weave.

John was sitting in his room staring at his uniform jacket like it was going to attack him at any moment. Before Carl had left, he got the Colonel dressed in his uniform pants and left the Colonel to finish. John had his socks and shoes on, his white collared shirt tucked in and his navy tie tacked with an Air Force tie tac pin. He only had to put on his jacket.

"Why are you staring at your jacket? Let's go, you don't want to be late to your own wedding do you?" Snarked Rodney as he stared at the Colonel. He thought his eyes looked a little glazed over.

John looked over at Rodney and back to his jacket. In that brief look, Rodney saw the fight or flight look and in this case if was flight.

"Hey come on…what's the matter, you can tell me I'm your best man." Rodney said as he kneeled down beside the Colonel to get a face to face look.

"I'm scared." Whispered the Colonel not taking his eyes off his uniform jacket.

Rodney put a smile on his face and responded. "That's perfectly understandable…so I'm told. There's nothing to be scared about. You love Allison don't you?"

"Yes…more than life itself." John whispered again.

"See there you said it. 'More than life itself.' You, Colonel 'I give my legs for ZedPM's' Sheppard can do this. You've sacrificed yourself for others so many times I've lost count. You've saved my ass countless times too, not to mention Teyla's and Ronon's. If you can give your life to saving us, Atlantis and this whole expedition, then you can surely give your life to Allison to hold, cherish and protect. God knows you need someone to protect you. Now, come on, people are waiting, there's food to be had and you're holding things up." Rodney had no idea that being best man was such a tough job.

"Thanks Rodney." John looked at him and gave a small smile.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah…that's why I'm here. You can thank me later. Now let's get your jacket on and get going. Food remember." Rodney stood up and took the Air Force jacket off the hanger and helped the Colonel into it.

Rodney and John headed to the transporter and choose level one. When the pair reached the ramp that led to the gate room John stopped. He took in the view of his friends seated and the Marines which lined both sides of the Stargate two rows on each side, staggered and in full dress uniforms. John didn't even know they had dress uniforms.

From his limited vantage point, he could see Evan standing on the right side of the gate dressed in his class A dress uniform. He knew Ronon would be on the other side standing vigil. He barely could see Teyla standing in the center wearing the blue gown she had worn at Charin's ring ceremony. The blue made her auburn hair and dark eyes shine with brilliance.

McKay gave him a nudge and finally John made his way up the small ramp and towards Teyla in front of the Stargate. Rodney stayed by his right side his eyes focused on Teyla for the most part. He saw Ronon standing to his right, or on the left side of the Stargate. He was dressed in dark leather pants and a tan tunic that was longer on his left side than his right. A solemn grin on his face but with a sparkle in his eye, Ronon gave a slight nod in acknowledgement. The Colonel returned it.

John hadn't paid much attention to the people sitting behind him, but he knew Elizabeth, Carson, Carl, Radek, Halling, Jinto and Wex and maybe even Jinto's special one was there. He just didn't know. He vaguely remembered seeing nurses, doctors, scientists and Athosians seated but their faces were all a blur.

"Rodney." Whispered Carson from the seat behind him.

Turning around slightly to see what Carson wanted he mouthed the word 'what'.

"Tell the Colonel to breathe before he faints." Whispered Carson.

Rodney looked confused, but then took a look at the Colonel. Sure enough it appeared that the Colonel forgot how to breathe. Rodney tapped him on the shoulder, leaned down and told him to breathe before his fainted.

The Colonel did as he was told and whispered back…"pass out". He gave Rodney a smile that said thank you for not letting me make a complete fool of myself. Rodney returned the gesture.

Music quieted the many murmurs and the ceremony was beginning. Rodney turned the Colonel's wheelchair so he could see Allison come down the isle. First Jessica Weist made her way down the isle between the chairs, her gown was the color of sunrise, and her dark hair played off the yellow-gold of her dress. With each step, it flowed around her; she carried in her hand a single Tassium flower found on the mainland. The flower had a thick, strong stalk, the petals rich blue contrasted with her yellow-gold gown.

Jess took her position to her left as she walked down, stopping and turned to face the stairs. The music changed, the Marines snapped to full attention posture, those seated stood and turned toward the grand staircase as well.

At the top of the stairs stood Allison, her left arm looped around Dr. Rhomburg's right. Rodney reached out a hand and placed it on the Colonel's shoulder and squeezed. Rodney whispered the word 'breathe' and the Colonel inhaled, his breath had been taken away by the vision of loveliness that stood at the top of the stairs.

One step and a time, Allison and the Doctor descended, the dark blue gown cascaded down the stairs after each step. Dark as the Atlantean sky at night, dark as John's class A uniform her light brown hair wisped at the top of her bare shoulders showing off a necklace that looked familiar. The gown was trimmed in pale blue ribbon around the cuffs of each sleeve. The neckline was a 'v', the sleeves hung off the shoulders, and the bodice formed itself tightly around her frame. A band of pale blue attached the flowing skirt to the bodice. More pale blue was used to trim the bottom of the gown.

With each step Allison took John fell deeper in love. Dr. Rhomburg wore a medium gray suit that accented his whitening hair and white beard. When they reached the bottom of the stairs the pair walked down the isle towards John. The Colonel's eyes were locked on his wife-to-be who was slowly being guided between the rows of chairs. In the background there were gasps at her beauty as she slowly passed.

John had to be reminded to breathe on occasion and Rodney's firm hand on his shoulder giving a manly squeeze reminded him to do so. Allison was getting closer and he just noticed that she was carrying a bouquet of flowers. Most of them he recognized from the mainland. The mix of flowers were dainty and white in color which popped from the blue background they found themselves against.

As Dr. Rhomburg let go of Allison's hand, he gave it a pat. He was honored to be asked to give the bride away only knowing her for a short time, but he felt like she was his own daughter. Dr. Rhomburg took his seat next to Dr. Weir in the front row. Allison stood in her place in front of Teyla, Rodney turned John in his wheelchair to sit beside her to face Teyla and he took his position up on John's right once more. Out of the corner of John's eye he could look at Allison, the beauty that stood beside him, accepting him for who he was and what he did. John felt he was the luckiest person alive right now.

The music stopped, the Marine's at the nod of Lt. Col. Lorne all went into parade rest at the same time a chill ran down everyone's spine at the reaction just as it did when they snapped to attention. Teyla bowed her head in the Athosian greeting.

"Blessed be the Ancestors who bring us here this day. Blessed are those who come here willingly to be bond." Teyla spoke loudly, clearly and with such reverence. "Allison, John, do you so freely give to each other, that what is yours?" She asked.

Allison spoke first trying to find her voice, when her answer came out it was soft almost undetectable. "Yes."

"I do." John found his voice a little cracked, he was concentrating on breathing, not such a good example for a commanding officer.

"The Ancestors accept your commitment. We shall begin the Union Bond ceremony." As Teyla spoke, she removed the ceremonial white ribbon which had been draped around her neck and flowed down the front of her pale blue dress.

"Allison please raise your right arm." Teyla asked.

Allison handed her bouquet to Jess, turning back towards Teyla she raised her arm up and out.

"John please raise your left arm." Teyla told him.

John raised his left arm to meet Allison's. Arms touching, he wanted so badly to hold her hand. Teyla stepped forward and placed the white ribbon around the two extended wrists, wrapping it around several times loosely before tying it off. Allowing the remainder of the ribbon to hang down towards to floor.

"As two you chose to become one. As one you chose a path together. The road is never easy and very often long. The journey is of two hearts, two minds, and two souls. The bond which you seek today is everlasting. The white ribbon represents the pure love you have for one another let it guide you when you know of no other means. Trust in yourselves and in each other that you will find your way through your chosen path." After Teyla had tied the knot of ribbon, she kept her hands clasped around both Allison and John's wrists.

"Praise the Ancestors and may the Ancestors watch over you." Teyla concluded. Stepping in front of Allison, Teyla places her hands on Allison's shoulders and bowed her head. Allison reciprocated bending her head down and their foreheads touched.

Teyla stepped in front of John, placed her hands on his shoulders and tipped her head down to meet John's already tipped head. His eyes closed and when their foreheads meet, John whispered a 'thank you'. Teyla stepped back to her original place.

"I believe it is your custom to kiss the bride. Is it not?" Teyla raised an eyebrow at John.

Realizing what Teyla just said, John nodded and said, "yes it is." Though their hands were tied by white ribbon John managed to grasp Allison's hand and pulled her close. He looked into her eyes as she bent down to kiss him.

When they broke, Rodney moved behind the Colonel's wheelchair and turned him counterclockwise around to face everyone, as Allison stepped backwards. The guest all stood clapping, the Marine's let out an 'ooh rah' that echoed to the top of the gate room. Rodney pushed the wheelchair down the isle, Allison by his side. Evan stepped forward and escorted Jess down the isle while Ronon escorted Teyla.

The group headed to the mess hall for the reception. They arrived only minutes before their guests. John asked Teyla to remove the white ceremonial ribbon and she complied. Rodney had already found the food, and was filling a plate. Little did John know it was for him and Allison.

"Here, you need to eat something since you lost your breakfast. Wouldn't want you to 'faint' again now would we? Humm?" Rodney said with concern and snideness all rolled into one. As he handed off the plate he stepped behind the Colonel and carefully pulled out of his jacket a 'Just Married' sign and slapped it on the back of John's wheelchair. If he could have gotten away with it, Rodney would have tied empty tin cans on strings behind his wheelchair too.

"It's not 'faint' Rodney, it's 'pass out'. Get it straight!" John growled back at him. "And…thanks buddy." John motioned to the plate of food he was holding.

"Anytime. Now can I kiss the bride or will I be shot if I try?" McKay said wearily.

"I'm unarmed McKay…don't know about Allison though." John replied giving McKay a little wink.

John barely got to nibble at the plate of food Rodney had brought him, before everyone started entering the mess hall. But it was enough to stave off the growing hunger he had in the pit of his belly. One by one his friends, Marines and expedition members came to congratulate them, shaking hands and kissing.

oOo

Allison was talking with Jess and out of the corner of her eye she saw her husband piling food onto a tray that miraculously appeared on his lap. She excused herself from Jess and walked over to find out what her husband was doing.

"John, what are you doing? Surely you can't be that hungry." Stated Allison with a puzzled look on her face.

"It's not for me. I thought I would take some food to the Marines and Control Room staff who have to stay on duty. I won't be long. You go back and enjoy the party. I promise it won't take long." John told her as he kept filling up the tray in his lap.

"I'll go with you." Allison announced.

"It's okay Alli, stay and enjoy the party." John replied.

"No John, let me do this with you. Remember 'journey together' this is my family now too. I want to do this. Please." Allison said.

John caved, how he could refuse such a beautiful woman when she put it that way.

He asked Rose for another tray and Allison quickly loaded it up with food like the one on John's lap. Together they took the trays and headed for the transporter. John took the Marines that were in the gate room on guard duty, while Allison took her tray to the control room up the stairs.

"Hey Fellas, sorry you're missing the party, but I thought you might like some lunch. You can eat and guard the gate at the same time can't you?" The Colonel said smiling at his men.

They were thanked. Before John and Allison left, John told the Marines to eat up, he would be back with wedding cake. The Marine's all answered 'Yes Sir' as the newly married couple left the gate room.

"Hey Marcus." Shouted the Corporal across the gate room floor to his buddy. "Have you ever had a CO like this?"

Marcus shook his head in response.

"Me either." The Corporal stated digging into his plate of food that had just been delivered. "I think I'm gonna like it here."

His buddy across the gate room floor had to agree. They both were going to like it here.

John didn't want to go back to the mess hall right away he needed a little alone time and some air. After exiting the transporter on the mess hall level, he turned left instead of right and headed for the balcony that was down the hall. The doors swished open and the warm breeze floated by. John took in a couple of deep breaths, closing his eyes to the sun warming his face. Allison stood beside him with her hand on his shoulder letting him know he wasn't alone.

"I just needed some air." John told her without opening his eyes; he continued breathing deeply. "Have I told you, you look beautiful, stunning and amazing yet?" John stated turning his head and opening his eyes to look at his wife following the curve of her face and neckline.

"Not in the last ten minutes no. But thank you. You're not bad looking yourself." Allison responded smiling at him.

"That necklace…it looks familiar." John said.

"Dr. Weir let me borrow it. You know, something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue and a penny in your shoe." Allison reminded him of the old marriage wives tale for good luck.

John thought it was nice that Elizabeth let her borrow her necklace and he smiled inwardly at how the two women most important in his life were getting along so well. Then his facial features turned to puzzlement. "What did you do about a penny in your shoe?"

"Oh…Dr. Zelenka melted come copper and formed a flat disc." Allison slipped off her shoe and pulled the flatten piece of metal from her shoe. On one side there was the impression of the letter A, on the other side was the impression of the letter J. Handing it to John to inspect she just giggled at the simplicity and the thoughtfulness of the Czech Doctor.

The balcony doors opened behind them and the best man walked through. "There you two are. I've been looking all over for you. It's time to cut the cake and I for one want a big piece. Now come on, everyone's waiting." Rodney ranted waving his arms in the direction of the door and the mess hall.

Allison and John gave each other a look, John shrugged his shoulders and started moving towards the open balcony doors with Allison and Rodney following.

John wrapped his hand over Allison's hand that held the long bladed knife. Gently the two pressed down into the cake cutting a small piece out. The cake that Rose Highland designed was simple, two layers tall, with four small round cakes surrounding the main large one. Frosted in white with fresh flowers and greenery from the mainland arranged in the center of each cake. The cake was a marble of white and chocolate.

Allison picked up a small piece, as did John and they each fed the piece to the other. It was just like all the fairly tale weddings she had ever dreamed about. Her second marriage to the banker was beautiful in its own way, but today, this city, in this galaxy, with her first love of her life, seemed all the more special in every way. It was hard to describe, her feelings, thoughts and what her new life would be like.

As promised John and Allison took cake back to the Marines in the gate room and the staff working the control room.

It had been a long day and John was exhausted, it was only 15:00 hours but John needed to rest and get out of his dress uniform. He excused himself from his remaining guests and headed back to the quiet of his quarters.

oOo

"Colonel, wake up!" A hand tapped against his cheek.

The Colonel could hear a somewhat distraught voice trying to wake him, but he didn't want to wake up just yet. He had just barely lain down and he was still tired, he couldn't have slept that long and it had been a long morning.

"Come on John, I need you to wake up." The distraught voice said, a hand still patting the sides of his face.

"Nooooo. I'm tired." Mumbled the Colonel still with his eyes closed.

"Please John, open your eyes for me." Said the female voice again. The hand was unrelenting as it continued to pat his cheek.

John still had his eyes closed and wanted to roll over to get away from the tapping being done to his face. "Allison don't I'm tired." His hand came up to stop the one that was hitting his face.

"Who's Allison John?" The voice asked with concern this time.

John's head rolled from side to side, he had no choice but to open his eyes and put a stop to this little charade. He was tired and wanted to go back to sleep. John managed to get both eyes open he blinked to bring the face looming over him into focus.

"Elizabeth?" John uttered, his voice dry and soft. "What are you doing here? Where's Allison? Is she alright?" John fired off a round of questions, Elizabeth's face had a look of concern like something bad had happened.

Elizabeth looked over her shoulder to Carl and then back to John.

"It's Allison. Tell me what happened." John demanded now that he was more awake and taking in the looks of Carl and Elizabeth.

"Who's Allison John?" Elizabeth asked.

John looked puzzled, Elizabeth knew Allison, she loaned her necklace to her. Why would she not know who she is, this wasn't making any sense. "You know who Allison is. You let her borrow your necklace for our wedding. Now why won't you tell me what happened to her."

John was getting more and more upset, not getting any answers to his questions and only strange looks from his friends. He was pushing himself up when a strong hand intervened and he had to lay back down.

"Easy Colonel, you have a nasty bump on your head. Just lie still." Carl advised him releasing his hand from his shoulder.

'_Bump, what was Carl talking about?_' John's hand went to his head and he felt the bandage above his right eye. "What happened? How did I get this?" He asked them.

"It was my fault Colonel. I inadvertently hit you with my new headboard." Carl told him looking and feeling pretty guilty.

"I know, but that was over six months ago." John replied.

Carl and Elizabeth both had stranger looks on their faces now, you would have thought John was growing a second head the way they looked at him.

"Carl, I think we better take John to see Dr. Beckett." Elizabeth said worry evident on her face.

"I'm fine!" John said aloud, having enough of this he was getting a headache. "Why won't you tell me where Allison is?"

"I can't tell you about Allison or where she is. I don't know any Allison." Elizabeth calmly explained her hand resting on his.

"Allison…light brown hair, hazel eyes. Dr. Rhomburg's new Astrophotographer. My ex-wife who came on the Daedalus. Who has shared my room with me for the last five months. The woman I married this morning. Allison." John finished. He closed his eyes and willed his headache to calm down he was getting nowhere. "Look her clothes are in…" John pointed towards the end of the bed where there should have been a closet and dresser.

Had John taken the time to look around his room, it was the same. There was no photograph of Atlantis from space tacked on the wall, no dresser, no closet, no clothes. His room looked like it did six months ago, a bachelor's room. No homey touches other than his golf clubs and skateboard which sat in the corner. And Elizabeth had on her red shirt and BDU's, the same as Carl only with his gray shirt. It wasn't what they were wearing at the wedding.

"I don't understand there should be a closet and dresser on that wall." John stated quietly.

"John you must have hit your head harder than Carl thought. After you turned in your month-end status report you came back here. I had a couple questions about it and when you didn't answer your comm, I comm'd Carl and he told me you were here. So for the last two hours I let you rest, then decided to come see you personally. I even brought you lunch, its out on your desk. Carl said he was having trouble waking you, so I thought I would give it a try." Elizabeth explained leaving nothing out.

"Two hours. Not six months. No Allison." John stated matter-of-factly. Closing his eyes and wondering how all that could have been a dream, it felt so real.

"Yes John, two hours. Are you all right?" A concerned Elizabeth asked.

"I don't know Elizabeth, it all seemed so real." John replied.

"Colonel if you feel up to it, I'd like to see you eat something. Dr. Weir, if you could help the Colonel sit up. There are pillows in the closet. I'll go get your tray." Carl instructed after receiving a small head gesture from the Colonel.

Elizabeth took out the pillows and got John into a sitting position as Carl brought in his tray of food setting it on his lap. Elizabeth asked if he wanted to talk figuring he would only say no, but it was always nice to ask. She was surprised when he started talking about the last six months in between bites of his lunch. The story he told was amazing and in detail.

oOo

John was having a hard time wrapping his head around the fact that it was all a dream. After eating his lunch, he agreed to go see Beckett after much persuasion from Elizabeth and Carl. Carson had done the scan and found nothing wrong other than the bump that had formed.

John went to his office afterwards. Trying to concentrate on work but his heart ached. He read over the list of names of the new personnel that had come on the Daedalus searching for Allison's name and did not find it. Maybe it was all a dream. Dr. Rhomburg had not requested an Astrophotographer.

He remembered talking to the Marine about his ex-wife problem. What did he say her name was? Althea, Alicia, Alana. Had it been that simple? The mere mention of a similar name and ex-wife that drove him to his delusional dream.

John was giving himself a headache just thinking about it. If he didn't stop soon, he would find himself in a padded cell. John chuckled inwardly at that thought. Realizing he wasn't getting anything accomplished, he headed to a balcony. On his way he swung by the mess hall and snatched a bottle of water. There was a balcony just down the way from the mess hall that offered solitude.

The door swished open on his approach and the warm air embraced him in a hug. Stopping by the railing he looked out over Atlantis and into the blue ocean. John couldn't stop thinking about his dream, it had felt so real. He could feel, smell and taste just like he did now sipping on cold water, feeling the warm sun against his skin. It was no different than in his dream. How was that possible?

His comm beeped and Rodney needed to see him in the lab. Maybe spending some time with Rodney would take his mind away from his dream, so without any argument he agreed to be there in a few minutes. Turning his wheelchair to leave, his eye caught a glimpse of something reflecting the sun. He wheeled himself closer to the object and leaned over to pick it up.

Turning the object over and over in his hands, studying it closely. He whispered, "it can't be." He put the small disc in his vest pocket and headed to Rodney's lab. Rodney had comm'd him a second time asking where he was.

Slowing down to stop in front of Rodney's work bench in the lab John looked at the hunched over scientist tapping away at the keys on his laptop. John hadn't even thought the Astrophysicist knew he was there staring until Rodney spoke without taking his eyes off the laptop.

"About time you got here. I need that mathematical brain of yours." Rodney said without inflection. "Radek, bring me that laptop from over there." Rodney took his hand and pointed in a general direction waving and snapping his fingers as if that would hurry Radek up.

"I am not your servant." Stated Radek as he pushed up his glasses. "I have very important work here to be done too you know."

"Yes, yes. We all have important work, now bring me that laptop. I don't know how long I can keep the Colonel here to help. Come on…chop…chop." Rodney's fingers snapping and his arm stretched out waiting for the laptop to magically appear in his hand.

John let the tirade between the two scientists play out. It was comforting, in fact, to hear them bicker back and forth. It made this reality all the more real. John reached into his vest pocket and took out the disc. A copper disc the size of an Earth nickel with a 'J' on one side and an 'A' on the other. It was just like the one from his dream, the one Allison had showed him on that very same balcony when she talked about something old, something new. How could this be real if it was all a dream?

Radek finally handed over the laptop to Rodney. Rodney was setting it down and accessing the equations that he needed John's help with. Radek looked across the work bench and noticed that the Colonel was fiddling with a small object, turning it over and over in his hand.

"Colonel what is that you got?" Radek inquired trying to get a better look. He moved around the work bench closer to the Colonel.

"Something I found on the balcony." John offered it up to Radek to take a closer look. "I've never seen anything like it before." He lied, but how do you tell someone it was in a dream. "It has an 'A' on one side and a 'J' on the other. Do you think the Ancients used this like money?" John threw out the question in general.

Rodney looked up from the second laptop and after a quick glance at what Radek held. He doubted it was money.

"Colonel, sorry to say but this is nothing. I was testing a metal that was brought back from one of the missions. I melted it down to test its properties." Radek explained for a loss for words.

"Why does it have an 'A' and 'J' on it?" The Colonel inquired.

"Ah… 'A' for Atlantis and the 'J' for you Colonel. Since you have such a unique connection to the city. I was just fooling around. I mean no disrespect." The Czech mumbled, worried that there would be repercussions.

"Radek, it's okay. I'm not upset. In fact I think it's kind of neat." The Colonel gave a warm smile to the Czech. Radek handed the pressed metal disc back to the Colonel.

"Enough ladies…can we get back to some serious work here? Colonel, here are those equations. Radek ….go do whatever it is that you do and let the Colonel and I work." McKay pushed the laptop towards the Colonel and waved off Radek.

The Colonel accepted the laptop and began working the equations set before him on the screen. The lab was quiet except for the clicking of computer keys.

"What do you know about dreams?"


End file.
